Turning Time
by Twilight Author Girl
Summary: "Vampires, werewolves, and now time travel? How many more mythical things from my childhood storybooks are real?" A necklace given to her for her birthday holds a strange power that takes Esme on an emotional nostalgia trip through her past. A Carlisle/Esme story. Post BD. TW: Esme's abuse and suicide included. Lemons and fluffy occasionally if you're into that.
1. Emmett's Gift

_**April 14**__**th**__**, 2023**_

**Esme's POV**

My family had all gathered in the living room. Carlisle was seated beside me, his arm draped behind me over the back of the couch. Despite my protests, like every year, my family again was spoiling me with gifts. My birthday. It was early Friday morning. The kids had to go to school, Carlisle had a conference to attend at 10. And they had insisted on me opening my gifts before they left. Well…all except my husband, who's exact words were "_Your gift from me comes later,_".

In my hands I held the gift Ness and Jacob had given me.

"It's beautiful, thank you so much," I gushed and smiled at my granddaughter and her love, who had come to see her for the weekend. Ness beamed as I slipped the delicate bracelet over my wrist, opposite my family crest bracelet I always wore. The small band made of gold was thin and, in the center, the word "MOM", but the "O" was a paw print. I smiled.

"It's from us, but with the pack in mind," Jake said, and I looked up, our eyes meeting.

"I love it," I told him, and then smiled at Nessie, "Thank you,".

I felt Carlisle's hand press against my back softly.

"Emmett, you're last," Rose said, as Emmett smiled, reaching over the coffee table to pass me a small rectangular box with a bow around it.

"I wasn't sure what to get you, and I found this thing in a pawn shop the other day, and thought it was unique enough for you to add to your collection," he said as I pulled the ribbon off the box. I lifted the lid carefully and revealed the item inside.

A necklace. An odd looking one. The pendant was gold, constructed of three loops set within one another. It wobbled as I held the two little knobs that protruded from either side of the outer loop. Each of the three loops was set on its own axis. X,Y, and Z. The outer most and second loop had an inscription on it. The very center loop was a circle that held a tiny three-dimensional hourglass, and you could see the sand inside. Little stars decorated the space surrounding the hourglass. The pendant dangled from my hand by a long gold chain, that was much too long for anyone to sensibly wear around their neck.

"It's very intriguing, Emmett, very unique," I said, and slipped it around my neck. Sure, as I knew it would, it hung past my belly button, "It's lovely, sweetie," I told him, "Thank you,".

I glanced at the clock on the wall. It was almost 8:30. I gasped.

"Oh my gosh, you guys need to get moving, you'll be late for school," I said and stood up. My children agreed and all gave me quick hugs before grabbing their things and heading out the door. Which left me, my husband who remained in his spot on the couch, and the scattered papers and ribbons. I sighed and turned to Carlisle. He chuckled lightly with a smile. "Don't you have to be on the road soon?" I asked him, wondering why he hadn't moved as well. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me down onto his lap, making me giggle lightly. His fingers grazed my sides through my dress.

"I just want a moment alone with my wife, is that crime?" he chuckled, and rubbed our noses together. I smiled and sealed his lips to mine. We kissed each other softly for several long seconds before I broke our lips apart.

"I thought my present was coming later," I smirked as he moved his lips to my neck, grazing the little silver scar he had left behind.

"It will," he mumbled, inhaling my scent heavily.

"Carlisle," I mumbled, barely audible. He chuckled and pulled away. I sighed again stood up from his lap, "Darling, I don't want you to be late for your conference," I said, and pulled at his hands, until he rose to his feet. He embraced me in a hug.

"For you, love, I'd miss work every day," he smiled, and pressed our foreheads together.

"Not today, you aren't," I chuckled, pressing my hand to his chest and pushing him away gently. He rolled his eyes and smiled.

"Ok, ok, I'm going," he said and gave me one last kiss before sauntering towards the door and pulling his coat off the rack, slipping it on as I picked his bag off the bench and handed it too him.

"I'll be home early this afternoon. We can all hunt together," he smiled, and kissed my cheek, before opening the door, "I love you," he said, as I held the door open.

"I love you too," I replied, and with that, he stepped out the door. I smiled watching him climb into his car, and I waved before closing the door and hearing his car pull out of the driveway.

I turned around when the rumble of the car faded into the distance and saw the disaster that lay before me. I sighed and began cleaning up the ribbons and paper I had piled on the floor. My other children's gifts sat on the table. I smiled to myself.

The books from Bella, the clothing the from Alice, and shoes from Rosalie. The sheet music of the new song from Edward, and Jaspers very sweet and beautifully written at great length, card. I smiled at the bouquet of white roses in the crystal vase from my husband. I looked down at the bracelet from Nessie and Jake on my wrist, and it made me smile again. I greatly adored and appreciated that the entire pack felt I was a maternal figure in their lives. My fingers gently tapped the center of the necklace Emmett had found. Such an oddity but it was Emmett, and I still loved it.

I threw the paper I had collected in the trash and cleaned the dishes in the sink from Ness and Jake's breakfast. As I wiped the counter down, I gazed out the kitchen window. The sun was peering through the clouds, casting down rays on the grass in the back yard. The outdoors called to me as I set my rag in the sink and wandered out through the sliding door onto the deck. The sun beamed down on me every time it poked through the clouds. A small group of songbirds zipped by as I leaned over the wooden railing, smiling as I heard the pattering of a deer's hooves on the ground, the gentle, content snorting. I wasn't hungry, and it was rare that animals wandered close to our home. Most creatures sensed the danger of a den filled with apex predators and steered clear. Though on the rare occasion when I was alone, something would always find its way into the yard. I watched, remaining still as the doe approached slowly, her head low, nibbling the grass as she stepped lightly. She looked up when the birds suddenly scattered, and I smiled, beckoning to her, and she froze, her dark eyes meeting mine before she darted back into the woods, disappearing through the trees. I sighed to myself, and looked down, seeing the hourglass in my necklace catch the light. I smiled and lifted the pendant, holding it by its two little knobs on the side. The rings all lined up, forming a perfect pendant. I lifted it up to eye level and held it up in the sun, admiring the little sand grains as they shimmered.

The pendant wobbled ever so lightly, and I tilted my head, spinning the little knobs with my pinched fingers.

And suddenly I felt off, the world around me was shifting strangely. I looked up, seeing the doe again, but she was galloping out of the trees…backwards. I gasped, dropping my pendant, and fell backwards onto my butt, startled. Everything stopped spinning and the dizziness was gone.

"Jesus," I exhaled, as the shock from the fall subsided.

I looked around me, the world was carrying on. A flock of birds zipped past.

But I was staring at something unusual. I was looking at the back of…my outfit? I glanced down at my self and furrowed my brow, standing up very slowly. I was confused as ever. What had just happened?

I carefully walked around, seeing myself, a mirror image of me, leaning over the balcony as I just had been a moment ago, smiling out at the back yard. She didn't seem to notice me by her side. I let my gaze follow hers, seeing a doe nibbling gently on the grass as she walked along.

What was happening? An out of body experience? Did I faint? No, vampires don't…can't faint. I was experiencing what felt like déjà vu. I watched this mirror me. She smiled as some birds in the tree scattered and the doe looked up, and then towards us as she beckoned to him, making her dart into the tree line. Then she reached for her necklace and held it up. I watched as it shimmered in the lighten, and she watched it wobble, before turning the little knobs just as I had.

She fell to the ground, landing on her butt, startled. But nothing around me had happened like the first time.

I closed my eyes and shook my head. I had to be having an out of body experience.

"_Jesus,"_

I opened my eyes at the sound of my own voice. Mirror me glanced down at herself and furrowed her brow, standing up slowly.

"Let me help you," I said, extending my hand, reaching for her upper arm, but it just fell through her, as if she was a ghost. She didn't give any indication of hearing me either. She floated around the spaces in which I had moments ago. I reached for the necklace, as I kept my eyes trained to this ghost me, watching something that wasn't there. I lifted the pendant, holding it up as I had before, grasping both knobs.

Slowly I turned it in the opposite direction, away from me, and I felt dizzy again, but watched mirror me as she sped up, copying my actions until.

Boom…

I felt a thud in my chest as this ghost of her collided with me, the moment I hit the ground again, and then she was gone.

As if she had caught up to me, and then disappeared. My eyes fell to the pendant, still grasped between my fingers. I inhaled in shock, and pulled it off my neck, tossing it away from me, onto the ground. It lay there, still. I was breathing heavily, in panic, scared slightly.

_What the hell had just happened?_

_**So a little introduction. I've always wanted to do a "Cullen's go back in time" centered around Carlisle and Esme but couldn't think of a logical way to do so. Then the Time Turner from Harry Potter popped into my mind and I decided to go for it. So because the Time Turner is the only Harry Potter element of this Twilight based story, I won't be listing it as a crossover fic.**_

_**I only proofread once so I apologize for any grammar or spelling mistakes. I often write late at night, after work, and have up to ten chapters prepared before I start publishing, so I only go back and edit right before publishing each one.**_


	2. Family Hunt

**Esme's POV**

I didn't touch that thing for the rest of the day after I set it in on my desk. Whatever weird shit had just happened; I was afraid of it happening again if I touched it.

What _had _happened?

I was fully aware, nothing seemed hazy. I remembered it all. I concluded that I couldn't have fainted. Maybe it was the hunger? A delusion? The burn in my throat had been growing and I was eagerly anticipating the hunt with my family.

I was unsure though. Did I wave off whatever had happened, and write it off as me being crazy for a moment? My mind just had a moment. Did I tell my family what I saw? What had happened out on the deck…

I didn't realise I had been staring at it for so long, because it was the sound of tires coming up the driveway that pulled me from my staring trance. I stood up from my chair and looked over at the clock. It was 1 pm already? How had I managed to let myself zone out that long?

I peered through the window of the third-floor shared office, and down below, saw my husband stepping casually from his vehicle. I smiled lightly to myself, turning, my eyes automatically falling to the necklace as it sat in its little pile at the corner of my desk. My smile fell. I shook my head. Not now.

I met my husband at the door, as he was hanging his coat.

"Hello beautiful," he smiled, placing a kiss softly on my lips. I rested my hands on his chest, my head tilted up to meet his eyes, "What did you do all day?" he asked. I froze. I had never lied to my husband before and gotten away with it. _"That look in your eyes, it gives it away," _he would always tell me with a lighthearted chuckled. I pulled on the best happy face and cheerful eyes I could muster up, smiling up at him.

"Oh, the usual; worked on my blueprints, watered the flowers, sat and read on the swing," I told him, and he smiled back at me. He seemed to believe it. Miraculously.

"The kids should be home in… an hour," he paused to look at his watch and double check, and then smiled at me.

"Well I'd like my present to last longer than that," I pouted teasingly, which made him laugh.

"Of course darling, but that's later, I assure you," he chuckled, brushing my hair away from my face and behind my ear with one finger. His finger tenderly caressed my cheek, as it ran over my skin. I smiled up at him, gazing into his eyes, "How about you and I take a few minutes to just…relax?" he suggested, a finger dancing over my slightly visible bra strap. I laughed lightly.

"I think we should get changed for our hunt. You know the kids won't waste time changing," I told him, pulling away from his embrace gently. I headed towards the stairs, and glanced back after a few steps, noticing he wasn't following. My eyes met his as I climbed the first step, only making him chuckle to himself, shake his head lightly, and follow after me, up to our room.

I unbuckled the belt around the waist of my dress as I stepped into our bedroom closet. Carlisle hung his tie in its place and proceeded to unbutton his dress shirt. I giggled to myself. The sight of my husband undressing had always been one that was hard to tear my eyes from. But I managed to resist as my fingers flitted over the hung clothing until I found the shirt and pants I wanted. Black as always. Bloodstains were so much easier to hide on black clothes, and unlike Alice, I didn't have a tendency to wear outfits just once.

"You look sexy in black," I heard my husband say behind me as I slid my leather jacket over the t-shirt I had put on. I turned around with a half smirk half smile on my face.

"You say that about every colour," I chided back at him with an eye roll and then a smile. He chuckled, sticking his hands in his pockets, giving me his signature flirty grin.

"Well the best thing I like on you is nothing," he said and chuckled to himself, reaching for his own jacket and slipping it on, zipping it halfway. I rolled my eyes at him again and smiled half-heartedly.

"Later," I said with a laugh to myself, as I patted the center of his chest as I passed him, leaving the closet. Arms wrapped around me as I picked up my hairbrush from my vanity. Carlisle kissed my cheek.

"Can I braid your hair for you?" he asked softly in my ear. I smiled and nodded, seating myself on the little stool in front of the mirror, handing my brush to my husband, who began gently combing through my brown waves. Carlisle found an intriguing interest in my hair. He loved to play with it when we were together. Cuddling, laying in bed, kissing. His fingers always took the chances to play with my strands.

He fishtailed my hair into a single braid at the back, and when he tied it off, he gently set it over one shoulder.

"Thank you love," I said, touching the tail end of the braid gently, and our eyes met in the mirror, making us both smile.

"You look beautiful," he said kindly. I pursed my lips.

"I thought I was sexy?" I asked, attempting to contain a cheeky grin. Carlisle leaned down as I twisted my head, allowing him to kiss my lips.

"You are that and every other exclamation of beauty in this world," he said. I exhaled as he pulled away. He certainly had a way with words. I stood up and he swept me into his arms, my back resting against his chest.

"I love you," I smiled softly, pressing my lips to his for a moment, enjoying our simple moment. His lips trialed to the exposed flesh of my neck that my leather jacket wasn't covering; just below my earlobe. I couldn't help but let my eyes slip closed and my head fall back against him, "I hope the kids give us the evening alone," I mumbled softly as his lips left my skin, and his hands gently squeezed my shoulders.

"We can always run up to Canada for a few days," he suggested. I smiled at him.

The gravel outside crunched under the tires of the kid's cars as they came up the driveway. Carlisle's eyes met mine as we smiled at one another before I pulled out of his embrace, taking his hand as we walked downstairs to greet our children home.

"Hi Mom," Alice said, her usual cheery demeanor, but she had that smile on her face that said she knew something. She disappeared up the stair s in a flash, Rosalie, Emmett and jasper following her at a human pace. Edward as always gave me a greeting kiss on my cheek as he passed, making my smile softly. Nessie threw her arms around me in a hug as she always did as well. Bella only gave me a smile and a wave as she passed by. I felt Carlisle slip his arms around my waist from behind.

"It's_ your_ birthday. Where would you like to hunt?" he asked me, pressing his lips to my hair. I smiled at the feeling, thinking about it.

"How about east into the mountain. Bears for Emmett and Jasper, bobcats and cougars for Edward and Bella. Elk and moose for us," I listed. Carlisle chuckled, nuzzling my cheek with his nose.

"That's my Esme, always thinking about others. Even on _her _birthday," he said happily, but emphasized "her".

"Just want everyone to enjoy our hunt," I said, turning my head and kissing his cheek with a light peck, but he raised a hand, touching my chin gently, holding it between his fingers and his lips captured mine. I let out a barely audible moan, kissing him harder.

"Get a room,"

Alice teased us as she reappeared on the stairs, Jasper behind her.

"I'm hoping we will," I teased back, my voice low. Alice just chuckled lightly and winked. I giggled to myself as the rest of the family pooled back downstairs.

"Everyone ready?" Carlisle asked, letting his hands fall away from our embrace, lacing our fingers together, holding my hand softly. The kids filed out the door, the two of us behind them.

Usually Jake came over when Ness got home from school, but we kindly asked him to stay away during hunting trips, as Ness was still young, new to hunting, and could accidently hurt Jake when her instincts took over.

"Ready to go?" I asked everyone again.

"Where we are heading?" Emmett asked, rubbing his hands together excitedly. I smiled.

"East, into the mountains, 15 miles" Carlisle said, pointing into the trees. Then pulled my hand as we dashed into forest, the kids running behind us. I glanced over at my husband as his hair whipped around in the wind. He smiled, running a bit fast, letting his hand fall from mine.

"Carlisle," I giggled, knowing he was teasing me with a race. Suddenly Edward zipped passed us, with Emmett on his tail, the two of them laughing. I glanced around at my family members, ducking around trees and leaping over rocks.

"Keep up guys!" Emmett laughed, as he followed Edward far ahead of us.

The rest of us caught up to them at our destination, in a valley between two peaks. There was a commotion coming from a cave nearby. Emmett was laughing as a bear snarled angrily. I shook my head, in an exasperated way. His favorite. The family dispersed, off to find their own meals. I met Carlisle's eyes for a moment before we headed off in our own direction, further down the valley.

We came across an elk herd that was grazing, the females were laying with their young, and the buck was standing at attention, watching for danger. He had yet to detect us. I scanned the heard, spotting a few doe's that didn't have young. I couldn't help but watch them as they peacefully went about their business. Carlisle and I snuck up around a ridge that overlooked the herd.

"Leave the buck. There's two doe over there, no young," I told him, as the two of us lowered into a predatorial crouch. Our eyes met momentarily, "Three…"

"Two…"

On "one" we both lunged towards the two deer, tackling them before they could even raise themselves to their feet. The herd scattered; the buck warning everyone to run, as we drained our meals clean and swiftly.

As my instincts and bloodlust subsided, I looked over at my husband, who was standing up, looming over the corpse of his own meal. Our attention was drawn to each other. I stood up as well, brushing the grass and dirt off myself. Carlisle ran a hand through his hair as a I walked over to him, brushing the grass from him too. He chuckled lightly, looking around.

"Full?" he asked, "Because I think that herd is long gone," he said. I nodded,

"I'm good. They were pretty big," I said, glancing back at my meal remnants, "Should we head back?" I asked. Carlisle nodded, and the two of us dragged our corpses into a bush. There was no need to bury them up here, as humans weren't allowed to hunt in the area; a national park. As well as any predator would consume the meat of the animals long before any human came across them.

"How long do think Emmett is going to mess with that bear?" He asked with a light laugh as we approached the area where the family had split off.

His question was answered when we reached the clearing, where Emmett was puling at the shreds of cloth that once was his jacket. He gave us both a cheeky smile. Rosalie appeared from the treeline, wiping the back of her hand across her lips, before slipping an arm around Emmett's upper arm.

"What did you find?" I asked her, rubbing my thumb lightly over the back of Carlisle's hand.

"Cougar den, about a mile north. The male put up a good fight for a few seconds," she said with a smirk. I gave her a simple smile.

Bella, Edward, and Ness appeared from the south. Bella and Edward had proud smiles on their faces, and Ness had one of excitement as she bounded over to me.

"I caught a deer and took it down myself!" she cheered with delight. I wrapped my arms around her in a hug to congratulate her.

"She's getting much better at her stealth," Edward said, as I let go of my granddaughter, and she hugged her aunt. Carlisle slipped an arm around my waist, pressing a kiss to my temple.

"Alice and Jasper?" I asked, directed toward Edward, wondering if he could hear them.

"Alice said they'll be here in a few minutes," he assured me, and I guessed they were around 5 miles away. Carlisle and I sunk down to the grass, him leaning against a rock, me leaning against him. Ness wandered off, climbing a tree a few feet up, Bella watching her out of the corner of her eye as she pulled at branches, picking pinecones. Rose also sank down to the grass. Emmett and Edward were chatting about something that I wasn't listening to.

"Plans for tonight?" Carlisle asked softly in my ear. I turned my head slightly, our eyes meeting. I didn't have to say anything. My eyes said it all. _Love me_. He kissed my jaw, nibbling once on my skin, before settling back against the rock, tightening his embrace slightly. I nuzzled into him.

"They're coming," Edward said, looking into the trees. Then looked over and beckoned Bella and Ness back to the group. Sure enough, a few second later, Alice and Jasper had joined us.

"Find anything good?" Emmett asked. Alice smiled lightly.

"Deer. Two doe and a buck," She said, and then looked down at Carlisle and I, and Rose.

"Plans?" Rosalie was the first to ask her. She beamed.

"We're heading to Canada for a few days," she smiled, looking around at everyone. Emmett and Rose seemed excited, Jasper content, Bella, Edward and Ness had no objection, "We're leaving tonight. We'll be back in three days," she told my husband and I.

"Are we going to see the Denali's?" Renesmee asked, looking at her aunt. Alice nodded,

"Carmen wants to see how you've grown, so I thought we'd meet up in halfway and have a visit," Alice said.

"We should probably head back home then," I suggested, trying my hardest to supress any eagerness, as I rose form my husbands embrace. Carlisle swiftly stood as well.

"It's not offensive mom," Edward chuckled lightly, stuffing his hands in his pockets, and turning with a smile, Bell took Nessie's hand and the three of them headed in the direction of home, probably to their cottage. Everyone else quickly took off at a run. Though once at the edge of the mountain line, Carlisle and I hung back, and resumed walking at a human pace through the trees, hands linked as I leaned towards him slightly. The birds chirping in the canopy of leaves above us.

"How far are we from home?" I asked, once we had walked in silence for a while. Carlisle looked around, scanning the forest. Likely looking for the marked trees that was Edwards mental hearing range limit if we were at the house.

"Far enough that we're still in private," he said, "Why?"

I bit my bottom lip, and turned, pushing him against the nearest tree, firmly enough that a majority of the bark could be heard cracking under his body. I didn't even give him time to process my actions before feverishly crashing my lips to his, my hands pulling at his coat, in a feeble attempt to open it, and get my hands closer to him. His palms cradled each side of my jaw and returned my kiss with an equal amount of fervor.

He let out a whimpered moan, succumbing to my dominance, and right at the moment he tried to slip his tongue past my lips, I pulled away from the kiss, but pressed my pelvis up against him, feeling his arousal straining against his pants, as I ran my hands up his t-shirt.

Then I teased him further by ending the moment of passion and backed away from him with a smirk on my face; a sultry look in my eyes.

"Esme," he moaned, reaching for my waist to pull me close but I stepped out of his reach, making him jut his bottom lip out in a little dramatic pout.

"You better hope those kids leave quickly," I said, mocking his pout, and turned, heading to house at full speed. I giggled to myself, knowing he was quickly on my tail. He would be restless from now until he had a chance to pin me to our bed.

I headed inside, after letting Carlisle catch up to me. I could hear the shuffling of my children as they packed small bags for their trip. Carlisle and I had taken long enough to walk back that Bella, Edward, and Ness had returned to the house from the cottage, bags already in Edwards car. Bella was waiting on the couch with Nessie. Alice and Jasper swiftly descended the stairs, backpacks slung over their shoulders. Emmet and Rose followed, Emmett also with a backpack, but Rose with her more civilized duffle bag in one hand. Edward appeared from down the hall, coming from the kitchen, a lunch bag of food for Ness for the long drive though Canada, even though they could stop and hunt anywhere along the way if she got hungry.

"Is Jake coming? Ness asked her parents. Edward touched her hair softly, as Bella smiled.

"I called him. He'll meet us at the road," she assured her daughter, who beamed.

"Alright, lets head out," Alice said, bounding toward the door happily, giving me a light hug as she passed. My children all hugged us, before piling into the two cars they were taking, waving as they pulled away.

The sun was beginning to get lower in the sky; casting shades of yellow, orange, and purple across the clouds. I smiled, taking in the image to paint at another time.

Two arms wrapped around my waist from behind, and I felt lips graze my earlobe. I closed my eyes for a moment, relishing in the feeling before I turned in his arms, sealing our lips together.

When we broke our kiss, I opened my eyes; our gold orbs meeting with a fire in them. I gave him that same look from before.

"Love me," I whispered to him, before he scooped me up bridal style and whisked me upstairs.


	3. Time Travel

_**April 15**__**th **_, _**2023**_

**Esme's POV**

The sun was rising behind my eyelids, as I snuggled my bare body against the side of my husbands, the sheets partially draped over our naked forms. One arm was wrapped around me, his palm resting on my bare back, pressing me close to him. One of my hands was mindlessly touching his bare chest, as it had been since I rolled off him.

Birds had been cheeping softly outside for hours.

Carlisle's rhythmic breathing had soothed me into a sleep-like trance after making love. We had talked for a while afterwards as we always did, until a comfortable silence fell over the house, our room, and us. And we laid there together for the rest of the night.

I shifted for the first time in hours, stretching in a very human-like manner, inhaling deeply, and then buried my nose back against my husband's body.

"Mmm…Carlisle," I mumbled as I let go of my deep breath. His eyes were still closed as he slipped both arms firmly around me, rolling us onto our sides and pulled me into his spoon. He was pressing against my backside. He buried his nose in my messy locks, inhaling my scene that was lightly tangled with the erotic stench of our post sex scent.

"I love you," he mumbled against my hair, then pulled it aside, sucking lightly on the nape of my neck. It sent a shiver down my spine, enticing me to roll over and straddle him. But I let him continue, kissing as far down my neck and back as he could reach without shifting. I reached a hand for my phone, checking the time.

"Carlisle, your meeting is in just over an hour," I said as one hand slithered up and cupped my breast, his finger playing lightly, eliciting a response from my nipple.

"I can miss it," he sighed heavily, not showing any concern for his lack of care about the situation.

"No, you can't," I scolded him lightly, rolling over to face him, "Now go shower. You can't attend a meeting looking, and might I add, smelling like you do," I added.

He smirked, "Well you know our normal scent is appealing to humans. I'm sure my many colleagues will find this one even more so," he gave me a cheek grin. I slapped his bare shoulder hard enough to make a loud smack.

"Even more reason to shower!" I told him; my eyes wide in shock. He laughed, running his fingers through his ruffled blonde locks.

"You know I'm teasing," he said and captured my lips in a kiss before flipping the sheet off his body and headed towards our bathroom. I smiled, gazing at his naked backside. The subtly sculpted muscles of his shoulders, and his butt made him look like a Greek statue. I sighed to myself as he closed the door almost completely, leaving a crack in it that was our unspoken sign of "join me". I listened as he turned on the shower, and stepped in. I quietly slipped off the bed several minutes later, when the scent of his soap drifted into the bedroom.

I pushed the bathroom door open softly, seeing my husband through the glass walls of the shower. His back was to me, as he was rinsing his hair, the soap running down his back, over those perfect muscles. I couldn't help but bite the corner of my bottom lips, admiring him for a moment, before slipping into the shower behind him.

I wrapped my arms around his torso, pressing my dry chest to his wet back, and rested my cheek against his shoulder blade.

"Hello, my love," he said, his head still under the shower head; his voice reverberating off the glass in an echo. He turned in my arms, looking down at me, water dripping off his flattened locks and his nose, as the water poured over his back, semi-protecting me. I leaned in and pressed my lips to his chest, kissing his wet skin.

"Hello," I smirked in response.

"I thought you didn't want me to be late?" he asked, that mischievous tone to his voice, lowering his head to suck and kiss on my scar. I smiled against his skin.

"I don't…" I teased, "But a few more minutes with my husband while he showers won't hurt anyone,"

Carlisle smiled, his hands gently cupping my breasts, squeezing them softly, before dipping his head to take a nipple in his mouth. I weaved my fingers into his wet hair.

"Carlisle," I moaned softly, throwing my head back. One hand slid down my body, and behind me, cupping my rear, "Mmm…baby,"

Just then he turned us, and my back was against the stone tiles of the shower. His lips met mine again, as his hands continued to roam my upper body. His dominance over the situation was turning me on and out of frustration, I grasped one of his hands and forced it between my legs, holding it there until he understood what I wanted; to which he greatly complied.

My body was shaking from his touch and I reached a point where I knew I had to stop, because if he threw me over the edge, I wouldn't be able to let him leave for his meeting. I would need him more.

"Carlisle, you're gonna be late," I warned him much like before. He chuckled, but hesitantly stepped away from me. I leaned against the wall, still desperately craving his hands on me again, but he slipped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around himself.

"Finish up. Behave. I'll be home in a few hours," he said, leaning to give me a kiss, and then slipped out of the bathroom. I sighed heavily; a feeble attempt to relieve the sexual tension. I scoffed and rolled my eyes. _Behave. _Such a tease that man was. _Oh, I'll behave. Until you get home…_

I finished showering, rung out my hair, wrapped my body in a towel and exited the bathroom. Carlisle was already long gone, but his fresh scent still lingered in the air. I inhaled it, letting it relax my mind, as I sauntered into the closet, in search of something to wear today. No one was around, and I had no plans on going anywhere today, so I opted for a plain pair of leggings, and a one of Carlisle's dress shirts. It was obviously too large on me, but I just rolled up the sleeves. I slipped on a lacey bra, black of course, before throwing the white shirt on, leaving the top few buttons undone.

I brushed my wet hair, allowing it to air dry. I decide to forego any makeup and wandered down the hallway into the study. I figured I may as well work on some blueprints while I await my husbands return.

I went over to my blueprint cabinet, selecting the prints I had partially drawn up over the past few weeks. The structure plan was done with each of its floors, but the water lines, and electrical had to be done next. I leaned over my standing desk, scanning the papers, listening to the birds twittering to themselves merrily through the slightly open window. The sound of a quiet summer day was always so soothing to me.

I closed my eyes for a moment, remembering myself sitting up in the tree at 16, the wind blowing my hair as I sketched the farm from the perfect vantage point. Straddling that huge limb in a very unladylike and difficult way with my skirt on. I could see all the way to the end of the property from up there. Birds sang above me, unaware of my presence in their dwelling. My father was in the barn, milking the cows.

I opened my eyes, reveling long enough in that memory, and returned my attention to the blueprints. I stared at the blank lines of the walls, waiting for their outlets and switches to be drawn in, but for some reason I just couldn't focus. I sighed, abandoning the blueprints and sat at my other desk, pulling out my tablet. If I couldn't focus on wiring the house, maybe I could do some digital design for the exterior. Find the materials I wanted to use for the home.

I reached for my pen to draw, that was sitting in my pencil holder, and my eyes landed on that stupid necklace. Sitting exactly where I left it the previous morning. Sitting there all casually, as if I hadn't witnessed it do some type of voodoo magic. My hand hovered over the pencil holder, as if forgetting what it was reaching for.

Curiosity won and I picked up that strange little trinket cautiously. Some one would think I was afraid it would bite me. No, I was just afraid if I moved it like I had yesterday, the same thing would happen. Examined it, bringing it up to my face. I noticed the little inscription on it was in English. I had thought it was a strange language when I glanced at it upon opening the box, but I must have just been looking at it upside down.

"I mark the hours, every one, nor have I yet outrun the Sun. My use and value, unto you, are gauged by what you have to do."

I read the inscription out loud as I carefully rotated the pendant. _What did that mean? Was what I saw yesterday actually real? Was this… a time_ _traveling device?_

I laughed out loud as well at my silly thought. Time travel wasn't real. _Don't be absurd Esme._

But a small part of my brain wanted to believe it. _Vampires weren't supposed to be real either… but here you are._

Again, my curious mind won the debate, and I held the two little knobs on either side between my fingers, and like I had before, turned it towards me. But nothing happened. I looked around the room, looking for…something, a sign. I scoffed, looking down at the pendant. Of course, it had all been in my head before.

My eyes fell to the unnecessarily long chain. It had been around my neck before. I rolled my eyes, doubting something as simple as that would work, and slipped the chain over my head, and held the knobs again, and slowly began turning them the rings toward me again. But then everything started shifting and I froze.

I turned my head towards my blueprint desk, and she was there. Standing with her back to me, still, as she gazed down at her blueprints. I knew it was me. Just like I had seen yesterday, she was doing exactly what I had been doing minutes ago. Curiously I watched her as I slowly kept turning the knobs, and she moved in reverse, putting her blueprints away and then disappeared backwards down the hall. Everything was moving faster, but I couldn't hear anything. I stopped turning and sound returned, the sound of water running in a shower was coming from our bedroom.

I kept turning. A figure appeared briefly in the hall. Blonde and dressed in his work clothes. _Carlisle?_

I stood from my chair when he disappeared into the bedroom. I stopped turning the pendant and walked quietly down the hallway towards our bedroom. Voices filtered through the closed door as I stood outside of it, listening.

"_Carlisle, you're gonna be late," _I heard my own voice echo from in the shower. A moment later a second voice replied.

"_Finish up. Behave. I'll be home in a few hours," _came my husbands voice and I heard the bathroom door creak open softly. I could hear shuffling from within our room before a moment or two passed and the door opened, almost making me jump. Carlisle walked past me, not noticing me standing there, much like my own self had not seen me when I offered her a hand.

He walked down that stairs and I heard the front door open and close, then his car fade into the distance. I heard the water turn off in the shower, knowing that was me finishing up.

I looked down at the pendant and held it up again, turning it backwards once more. A car reappeared, Carlisle came back, disappearing into the bedroom. I kept turning further, noticing it was getting dark again. And when I stopped turning the pendant, I was standing in the dark hallway, a soft light was grazing my feet from the crack beneath the door. I listened, and from behind the door I heard something all too familiar, and both my hands shot up and covered my mouth.

Carefully I reached for the doorknob, turning it as slowly as I possibly could. I had already established these ghost versions of us could not hear us. But would they see my interactions with the environment? Ever so slightly I cracked the door open, peering through the inch-wide gap. It felt so strange to be spying through my own door, as if I was one of my kids.

The sight before me was not one I ever imagined I would witness from a third persons point of view.

The room was dimly lit with only a single lamp on the bedside table. Clothing was abandoned on the floor in unruly piles. My gaze fell to the bed, where barely covered by a bedsheet, was myself, completely bare, and straddling my husbands lap. Soft moans and whimpers could be heard among the other sounds of each others flesh contacting. My fingers were running through his messy blonde locks as his mouth was pressed to one of my breasts, his hands wrapped around my hips as I bounced rhythmically.

"_Oh god,"__ I_ moaned, throwing my head back, and instinctively I closed the door. I had to cover my mouth again as I heard myself reach a climax.

The events I was witnessing were the events of last night. _God is that what we sound like? _I thought to myself, in an attempt to tune the moans out. _And Jesus, I did not look half as sexy as I felt straddling my husband. _

I picked up the pendant between my fingers again and turned it the opposite direction very quickly. In a blur, mere seconds, the sun came up, Carlisle disappeared out the front door again, and I emerged from our room, before my ghost caught up to me and hit me with that same thud.

And I was left standing in the brightly lit hallway. The house was silent, and I was alone. I pulled slightly on the chain, more questions arising. I walked back to my desk and sat down. If this necklace only worked when it was around my neck, what would happen if I went back and took it off. I held the pendant up and turned it slowly, just far enough so I could see myself walking down the hall, seconds ago. I didn't want to risk going too far backwards and getting stuck or something. When I saw my ghost walking towards me, I lifted the chain over my head, and she stopped walking. I studied her for a moment. She hadn't just stopped, she was frozen. Mid stride. Like someone had hit pause on a movie. Holding simply the pendant with two fingers, I stood from my desk again, and approached her cautiously.

When I was standing in front of her, I gazed in awe for a moment. I reached out with my free hand, and just as before, my hand fell through her like she was a ghost. I picked up the dangling chain with that same hand and jumped back in shock when she resumed on her merry way. I didn't understand. Still having the chain tangled around my fingers, I turned the pendant until the ghost caught up in time with me.

So, the chain didn't have to be around my neck. I just had to be touching it for time to move. I stood in the hall, my mind in amazement, unable to even process this.

Time travel… it was real…


	4. Minnesota to Ohio

**Esme's POV**

I couldn't help but be excited as I waited for my husband to come home and show him my discovery. I abandoned any plans to work on anything and sat down on the couch, just admiring this mysterious trinket, letting an essay of thoughts and questions run through my head.

_It doesn't work if you aren't touching the chain… You can go backwards in time, but not forwards. Time returns to normal when the past catches up with you… hmm, oddly poetic… Wait, how far back can I actually go? How did Emmett of all people come across this thing… God, time travel…this is crazy._

"Hello love,"

Carlisle's voice startled me out of my whirlwind of questions as he sat next to me. I glanced at the clock in shock. Had I really lost track of time that quickly.

"Hi," I said in a very nervous whisper to him, fidgeting with just the pendant.

"Is that the necklace Emmett got you?" He asked, noticing my fidgeting. His hand reached for it and I quickly snapped my hands away from his reach. He was momentarily shocked by my actions, but his face softened kindly, "Can I see it?" he asked sweetly. I looked over at him, his kind smile of curiosity met my eyes. I ignored his question.

"Ok…this is gonna make me sound insane… but there's something…different about this necklace…" I began slowly. He furrowed his brow.

"What does that mean?" he asked, the confusion very evident in his tone.

"This necklace can make you time travel," I said in the most serious of tone. Carlisle's expression was unreadable for a moment before it broke in a smile and he started chuckling.

"You have a much more wild imagination than I thought, love," he smiled at me, clearly not believing me. I frowned.

"You don't believe me?" I asked and he shook his head with a laugh.

"There's no such thing as time travel,"

I furrowed my eyebrows.

"Stand up," I told him firmly, as I stood before him. He casually stood in front of me. I took the chain and slipped it around both of our necks and held the pendant up so he could see it.

"What are you doing?" he asked, and I hushed him.

"Showing you I'm not crazy," I snapped back. I slowly turned the pendant backwards and saw the shock in his face as he saw the same ghosts I had before, moving about. Except that this time, his ghost joined mine. When I stopped turning the pendant, Carlisle was frozen in shock as he watched my clone sitting in the couch.

"_Hello love," _came his voice as his own mirror image entered the room like he had a few minutes prior. My husband looked up at the sound of his own voice.

"Esme, what's going on?" he whispered, still frozen in place as our ghost images continued their conversation.

"They can't hear us, Carlisle," I assured him, using a normal speaking tone, proving that the clones could in fact, not. I turned my attention to the ghosts on the couch again.

"_There's no such thing as time travel," _the ghost of my husband said. Carlisle looked at me and I held up the pendant between us, and turned it forward again until our clones caught up with us. The _thump_ hit Carlisle unexpectantly and he stumbled slightly. I reflexively grabbed his arm, to keep him from falling as I did. If he fell the chain might have snapped. He recovered from the blow and looked at me incredulously.

"Sorry, I should have warned you about that little jolt," I apologized, taking the chain back off our necks. He was staring at me, unable to find his own voice. "I told you I wasn't crazy," I teased awkwardly, trying to break the tension that hung between us.

"Holy shit," were the words that he exhaled shakily. Not words I ever expected from my husband, but it was an appropriate response for anyone who had just witnessed what he had. He reached out and touch the pendant as I held it between my fingers, "H-how? What?" he stuttered. I shrugged slowly.

"I really don't know," I admitted, "I discovered it by accident yesterday,"

"Yesterday?!" he gasped incredulously, "Why are you only telling me this now?" he asked, in a slightly demanding tone.

"I was freaked out after it happened. I was standing on the deck and then I was seeing déjà vu, and then I saw myself. Carlisle, I thought I was going crazy from hungry, or I had imagined it. I was scared to touch it again," I told him, "Turns out you have to be touching the chain for it to work," I added, almost too casually.

"Unbelievable…time travel," he breathed in disbelief. I nodded.

"I didn't believe it either. Until I spent a while this morning, messing around with it." I told him, holding up the pendant for him to see. He leaned closer, tapping the little sand filled hours glass with his fingernail.

"I thought the bizarreness in this family would end at hybrids. Now we've got time travel…" he said, in a reflective tone.

"I guess anything is possible. I mean there was a point where we all believed vampires weren't really," I pointed out. Carlisle nodded slightly, in clear agreement of the later statement. He looked at the edge of the pendant rings.

"What does the inscription say?" he asked, trying to read it. I recited the tiny print from memory.

"I mark the hours, every one, nor have I yet outrun the Sun. My use and value, unto you, are gauged by what you have to do."

"That's very spell-like poetry," he commented. I could see the little wheels turning in my husband's head, searching for an explanation.

"Witchcraft?" I asked, knowing my husband was familiar with the existence of such in his human days. He shrugged and shook his head with a very unsureness.

"I can't explain it, dear," he said, and after a pause, and a shared glance, he spoke again, "So…what now?" he asked me.

"I think we should at least try to keep this a secret from the kids. I don't want them messing with something like this. God only knows the chaos this would cause," I told him. Then one of my earlier questions floated back into my mind, "I wonder how far back it goes?" I wondered out loud and met my husbands gaze again.

"Do I want to know what you're thinking about?" he asked, slight worry etched into his expression. I smiled softly, unsurely.

"If it goes far enough back…I could…show you parts of my human life?" I suggested, the mere possibility of that was enough to make me smile. Carlisle always took any opportunity to hear stories about my human life whenever the fuzzy memories would surface. I notice Carlisle pursing his lips nervously.

"Hun, I don't know," he said, hesitation in his voice. I gave him slight pleading eyes. I didn't even have to say please. He just sighed after a moment, pulling me into his arms, "Ok," he whispered in my ear. I smiled against his shirt and stretched my neck up to press a kiss along his jaw. A gentle hand turned my head and he pressed his lips to mine. When our lips parted, our eyes met.

"How about we go pack a road trip bag, and we'll head out as soon as the sun goes down," he suggested. I nodded with a soft smile, leaning into him again.

**OoO**

"Is the house even still there?" Carlisle pondered out loud from within our closet. I looked up from the duffle bag I was throwing my clothes into.

"Which one?" I asked, unsure of what he meant.

"Both I guess," he said slowly. I zipped up my bag, throwing the last thing in. I contained a sigh, trying not to think about the worst half of my human life.

"I don't know. I haven't been to the farm in decades," I told him, "But I don't think that would matter with this thing," I added, as I put the "time turner", I had decided to dub it, in a little necklace box before putting it in my jacket pocket, "I think the house would just rebuilt itself as time passed backwards,"

When my parents passed, I inherited the farm in my name, posing as a distant relative, much like Edward had been doing with his human home, and had only been there twice in the past. The last time I was on the homestead had been back in the 50's, and the house was still standing in well enough condition that I could be habitable with major renovations.

Carlisle exited the closet with his own bag in one hand. I felt a hand rest against my back.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked. I nodded, picking up my bag in one hand.

"I'll be ok," I assured him, linking his hand in mine, "Now come on," I said as we left our room and headed downstairs.

"I don't know if Alice has seen this, but we should still send them a text or leave a note here," Carlisle suggested as he gently took my bag from me at the front door. I nodded.

"I'll leave a note, and then shoot them a text on the road," I said, taking a pen form the counter, and writing a quick explanation on the note pad there as well.

_We've gone on a road trip to Ohio and should be back before the end of the week. _

_We'll explain everything when we're back._

_Call us when you get home. _

_Love Mom + Dad_

I left the note on the counter where I knew they would see it, and followed my husband out to the car, locking the house behind me. I climbed into the passenger seat of the already running vehicle, buckling myself up before my husband joined me, slipping into his seat.

"How long is the drive?" I asked, knowing it would likely take less than a day to get there. We lived in a forested area 30 minutes northwest of Duluth, Minnesota; the city where my husband worked.

"About 12 hours," he said, buckling himself in, "We should get there right about the time the sun is coming back up," he added, just as the sun's final light started fading behind the horizon. It was 8 o'clock at night. We'd drive through the night and arrive at the farm property, which was tucked away in a forested area that was off a country road outside the city.

Carlisle and I were silent for an hour as we headed south on the 53. Though it was a comfortable silence. It broke when we passed the road sign pointing east towards Ashland. I felt Carlisle's free hand rest on top of my thigh. I sighed and looked out my window.

"We can stop on the way back?" he offered, reading me like a book, and knowing I was conflicted about going there. I rested my head against the glass.

"Maybe," I said, extremely softly. He offered me a sad smile.

"Come here, love," he said just as softly and I scooted closer to him, leaning over the center console and snuggling up to his right side, curling my hands around his bicep. His scent soothed me as his free hand bent back, touching my cheeks and stroking my hair. Briefly he turned his head to place a kiss on my forehead. I closed my eyes for only a short while, the darkness and the sound of the car rumbling softly against road putting me in a relaxed trance. Behind my closed lids the blue lights of the dash panel, and the soft sound of the radio playing on the 60's channel kept me grounded to reality, keeping my mind from wandering.

**OoO**

I hadn't been sure how long I laid against my husbands arm until I opened my eyes and looked around, the 53 had, at some point, turned into interstate 90. I couldn't sense where we were until moments later, I spotted the overhead sign pointing east to Milwaukee. _I had tuned out for nearly five hours?_ It felt like minutes.

I thought back to just over a century ago when I was staying with my cousin there. Carlisle had noticed me perk up from my perch on his arm and stroked my hand gently.

"Try not to think about the bad times," he said. Sometimes I wondered if he could read my mind like Edward. I met his eye for a moment, silent still, until I sighed, looking out at the road ahead.

"Milwaukee was good times… Even though I was running from the bad ones," I assured him softly, and after a moment of thinking and choosing words carefully I continued, "I can't not think about the bad times… They'll play out before my eyes again and you'll see why they haunt my memories," I told him. I felt the car briefly slow down from its excessive speed. As if to prevent himself from crashing as he processed my words.

"Esme, you're not-…you aren't gonna…. Please tell me you won't," he said, almost pleadingly, looking over. I closed my eyes, taking in his words. He didn't want me to go back and witness my own horrors and shames over again.

"Part of me doesn't want to," I said, frustrated, but soft spoken. Instant of reprimand me for it, he caught something…

"And the other part?" he asked, cautiously. I could tell his voice was shaken, and he spoke through gritted teeth. I reached out and grasped his wrist, notice the steering wheel was paying a price under the pressure of his fingers. His grip relaxed but he remained tense.

"Wants you to understand what I lived through…" I whispered. It was his turn to grab my wrist, though not a hard as I had his.

"I do understand," he told me, glancing periodically between me and the road.

"I want you to see…" I stopped him, correcting myself, before he could continue. His eyes looked both fearful and sad. His mouth hung slightly agape.

"Why?" he whispered, pleadingly. Only then was I hit with a wave of guilt for wanting to make my husband, a man who has never laid a hand on me aggressively, nor let another harm me, watch my younger self be tormented by my abuser.

"I-…." I couldn't speak. I was at a loss for words of my own actions. Carlisle's expression remained upset. I feared he was on the edge of crying. I swallowed the venom in my mouth, forcing the lump in my throat to leave, "When I first started talking to you,-…I know that you asked Edward what he saw in my memories. And I know that he told you…. He didn't tell me this until after I had opened up to you," I said to my husband, "So I know there's a part of you that wants to know what I went through-"

"_Wanted_" he said, sharply, still in a soft tone, but being sure to emphasise the past-tense of his word, "I used to want to know. Until I heard the story from you…" he sighed, a darkness clouding his eyes. Even in the almost dark car, I could see it, "The way you described the hell _he _put you through; I came up with this image in my head that I'm scared doesn't even compare to the reality. I don't like to think about it… I don't want to watch it happen in front of me like a movie I can't turn off," he confessed, and let out a shaky exhale, "Esme, I agreed to this thinking I'd see the happy person you were before I met you. I want to see you smiling and climbing tree's and getting muddy and teaching and pregnant and-"

He cut his rant off sharply, freezing with his eyes glued to the road. Again, the steering wheel was trying to hold out against the punishment his fingers were unintentionally inflicting on it. And again, I reached for his hands and felt them relax when he realized.

"I will show you that…" I promised, "That's the good… but with it, among it, in between it all, is the bad," I added, withdrawing my hands away from his, "The world is like… yin and yang. There's good, and there's bad. Within the good there's bad; I had a nice childhood, but I was still ordered about, and reprimanded, and punished when I was wrong. And then within the bad, there's a little bit of good; Charles was a cruel man, but he still taught me how to drive and how to pay the bills when I was alone during the war," I explained softly to my husband. My tone the only thing keeping him from snapping at the mention of my ex husband. I kept my composure as I spoke to him, and sat silently as I waited for a response. He was quiet for a minute until he inhaled slowly and let out a heavy exhale, letting his shoulders slump from their ridged posture.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. I leaned in again, taking up my previous spot, holding onto his arm and resting my cheek on his shoulder, "For better or for worse," he said quietly, leaning his head against mine.

**OoO**

Two hours later we were passing through Chicago on I-90 E. We were nowhere near my son's former home, but I was still thinking of him.

"I wonder if Edward would want to come here, and see his family again?" I pondered out loud. Carlisle looked over at me as I gazed out my window at passing buildings.

"I don't know," Carlisle said, clearly letting his own mind wander a bit, sifting through memories, "He never talked much of his parents when I first changed him. It wasn't until he was past his newborn year that he mentioned anything about them, his home, or his life," my husband explained. I sighed, looking over at him, "I would advise keeping quiet about any mention of time travelling with the kids," he warned, "They may react differently that you would hope,"

The thought plagued me. Every single one of us, excluding Bella, were brought into this second life without consent, without knowledge, and all of us had to abandon our families and friends. Carlisle was attacked and turned, forced to run away from his home. Edward, Rosalie, Emmett, and I were all near death, and excluding me, none of them wanted to die at the time. Jasper had his life ripped away from him and became the puppet of his creator. And poor little Alice, locked up by her own father, her mother murdered, never to see her sister again, was dying slowly and painfully as they tortured her in that asylum.

I became so wrapped up in my thoughts I had barely noticed we were almost there as we crossed over interstate 70, heading south on 270. It would take us around the perimeter of Columbus before heading south down highway 23. The farm was tucked away behind a large dense area of trees, on a turn off just before you reached road 762. The exact coordinates had been engrained in my brain since I was a child.

_39°46'55.0"N 82°59'43.4"W_

The sun was coming up. Just the edge of the horizon was softly becoming a deep blue as it was nearing the early hours of morning. The roads were still quiet. I watched the city from a distance, admiring the lights as were drove the perimeter. Carlisle's hand slipped into mine, squeezing gently when he noticed my daze of admiration though my window.

The farm was only 20 more minutes south once onto highway 23. I sat up straight as Carlisle turned the car west onto a little dirt road, and drove slowly around a corner, revealing the farmhouse. In the dim light of morning my eyes could see the failing structure of my childhood home. The years had been cruel to its exterior. The white paint had long chipped away down to the raw lumber. The bricks of the chimney were cracking, threatening to collapse if the wind got too rough. The grass was long, thick, and green, in desperate need of a cut, even though it was only April. The chain holding the porch swing up had finally given way and pulled free of the wooden beam it was suspended to, leaving it in a slump on the porch; the porch that had a heavily worn path going up and down the stairs over the years. Despite the sad image of the house, and the mess that it lay in, I was happy to see no signs of vandalism. At least from the outside. As Carlisle parked on the grass that had grown over the once dirt road leading up to the front step, I looked further to the west, pursing my lips sadly as I noticed the entire roof of the barn had collapsed in. I sighed as he turned the engine off and undid his seatbelt. I mindlessly unbuckled mine, my gaze still fixed on the trees. I climbed out of the car slowly, scanning the land. The unkept nature of the yard and house made it obvious that it was abandoned.

I smiled, seeing a tractor plowing up the field behind the house. The field once belong to my family, and many seasons I had helped plow, plant, and harvest that field alongside my father and his farm hand. But I felt bad that the land was not being used when the property sat unoccupied, and hence I sold it to the neighbours. Two miles across the field was the granddaughter of the people who were once my family's neighbours. She and her husband were in their 50's now. She had inherited the family farm in 2000, and I had asked her, much like I had asked her mother and father before her, to keep an eye on the farm every few months and notify me if anything happened to it. I had posed as a descendant of my family each time their farm was handed down, limiting contact unless absolutely necessary.

I noticed the man in the tractor, the woman's husband, turn his attention towards us, furrowing his brow as he squinted, barely able to see who was in the yard. I stepped to where he could see me and waved a little signal that let the man know it was me. He smiled and turned back to his work, moseying along the field, churning up the dirt.

Thankfully for us, the sun would be hiding behind the clouds when it rose. I had not realized my husband had come and stood beside me. I stood with my arms crossed and surveyed the property again. Beside the collapsing barn was the huge American beech tree that stood tall, it's branches just beginning to bud new leaves. The tree I had fallen from at 16; 112 years ago. I knew the tree would fall eventually, as they only lived about 150 to 200 years. But for now, it stood as the strongest and most intact thing on the farm.

"You should think about restoring this place one of these days," my husband suggested, resting a hand on my back. I sighed. I should. But there was something about seeing the farm's original beauty. As much as I loved a good restoration on an old building, I couldn't do this one. Not responding to my husbands' comments, I reached into my pocket, pulling out the little box with the necklace in it. I saw my husband shift nervously as I held it in my hand, tucking the box back in my pocket.

I motioned for him to turn and face me. I held onto his hand, wrapping he chain around our twined fingers, binding them together. The held up the pendant, Carlisle's tangled hand following mine, and I held the little nobs gently between my fingers.

"Don't let go of the chain when we go back," I told him, "Everything just stops moving,"

"How far are you going?" he asked, the nervousness in his voice was still evident.

"1895," I said, with a soft smile that momentarily made him smile as well.

"Ok," he whispered tenderly.


	5. 1895, 1901 & 1911

**Esme's POV**

Like each time I had before, I began turning the pendant backwards, that familiar swirling occurring around us. But I tried to block it out of my peripheral, focusing solely on the spinning rings. I spun it faster and faster, and around me the world moved backward equally in response. I looked up; my husbands eyes amazed at what was happening around him. In fractions of a second, seasons passed, years at a time, days flashed by so quickly the distinction between day and night were impossible. The weather had no effect on us, trees grew in reverse, the barn and the house rebuilt themselves before our eyes. After a minute I slowed down to a speed my supernatural senses could process better.

The seasons passed a little slower, taking a handful of seconds. It was only then that I realized my husband was whispering to himself, counting backwards.

"O-three, '02, 01, '00, '99, '98, '97, '96, -stop!" he said and abruptly I froze, the world around us freezing as well, while I held the knobs in place. We were both still, glancing around.

"What day do you think it is?" I asked softly. It looked to be a warm, possibly mid spring day.

"Sometime in April or May," my husband said, his tone just as soft as mine. I finally broke our stillness, letting the pendant go, and it began to move forward on its own, at its own speed, time moving normally; something I hadn't paid attention to previously. The silence and stillness around us were replace with birds twittering in the trees, and the wind blowing gently, somewhere from the direction of the barn a horse whinnied. I smiled, seeing a perfect image of the home I grew up in. The beech tree was a significant amount smaller than it was in the present day. Where Carlisle and I had been standing on the grass in front of the old house, we now stood in the center of the dirt road that once existed.

"Now what?" my husband asked. I looked at him and then back at the house.

"Investigate?" I suggested as I walked towards the house, and up the porch step, subsequently pulling my husband along via our locked hands. I could hear soft chatter from inside, it sounded like my parents talking. Voices I hadn't heard, except in my memory, since 1920. I grasped the door handle, turning it, and pushing the door open slowly, glancing inside as the sitting room was revealed.

In a corner, in the chair that had always been his, sat my father, young and healthy; one leg crossed over his knee, with a newspaper in his hands. As I pushed the door open further and stepped in, he took no notice to the disturbance or our presence; not even to the door opening. I presumed he could not see it.

I took a moment to take in the sight of the home that I remembered.

All the furniture with it's terribly tacky looking upholstery, the rug that I only remembered as ever being dirty and worn and never replaced, and the oval frames that hung on the wall with semi blurry photos of my grandparents, and my parents wedding photo printed in that soft black and white. On the mantle sat the two oil lamps we owned, as we were not rich in any sense.

"_Henry," _I heard my mother's voice call from towards the kitchen. Her footsteps approached and my father looked up from his paper, _"Could you hold the baby while I start dinner?" _my mother asked, stepping into the sitting room. In her arms was an infant, loosely swaddled in a blanket.

_Me._

"_Just put her in her cradle, Ruth," _my father sighed, as my mother approached him. She shook her head slightly.

"_I'm trying to keep her awake until after dinner, so she doesn't wake in the middle of the night," _my mother told him and placed the lump of blanket in his arms, taking his newspaper and folding it, setting it aside. My father looked down at the blanket and scoffed, then looked back at my mother.

"_Thirty minutes, then I set her down. I have to feed the hogs before sundown," _he bartered with her, to which she nodded in agreement, and then headed back into the kitchen. I heard her clattering around in there.

I walked closer to my father, approaching cautiously, and perched myself on the arm of his chair, looking down at the baby in his arms. He was bouncing the bundle gently. The child in his arms was wide awake, wide eyed, and watching her father.

"You are a very cute baby," my husbands voice made me jump slightly. I had nearly forgot he was linked to me. I looked over at him and he had a relaxed look with a kind smile on his face. I smiled back at him, and then looked back at little me, "You must not be very old," he added. I looked up and around the room, spotting the calendar on the wall with the dates crossed out.

_May 1, 1895_

"Three weeks," I said, pointing at the wall for my husband to spot the calendar. Carlisle sighed, and I looked at him.

"And your mother is walking around, cooking, cleaning, as if she didn't even have a baby," he said. I felt a sadness come over me at his realization. How sad it was, that mother's back in these days were expected to resume their duties around the home as soon as they could, while taking care of their child, and healing their bodies. In the present, mothers took months- all the way up to a year and a half off, to look after their child and recover.

"That was life," I said to him, and he squeezed my hand comfortingly. I turned my attention back to the tiny child as she gurgled with a toothless mouth open.

"Skip ahead a little," Carlisle said, as I stood up from the arm of my father's chair. I lifted the time turner and turned it forward, at a much slower and processable pace than I had been turning it backwards to get to this point. I watched as the little version of me grew before my eyes, crawling, climbing, walking, running. Carlisle was watching the little one move about at a fast forward speed until I reached 1901.

When I stopped and let time move normally again, rapid little footsteps filled the air above our heads and moments later this little six-year-old in a mid calf length little dress came rushing down the stairs giggling. I smiled as her little caramel waves swayed to each side as she ran.

"_Esme Anne, no running in the house," _my mother scolded from the kitchen, where little _Esme_ had disappeared to.

"_Sorry mama," _ a little voice murmured.

I pulled my husband towards the kitchen and stood in the doorway. My mother was stirring something in a bowl. The little girl struggled for a moment to climb up onto one of the kitchen chairs and lean on the table.

"_Elbows, Esme," _my mother scolded again, and _Esme _pulled away from the flour covered table.

"_Can I go play outside?"_ she asked her mother, in a very confident voice, with an equally confident face, and I chuckled lightly.

"_You stay away from the field and the barn," _mother warned, and the child nodded, jumping from the chair, landing on her feet with a loud thump. I could see the look in mothers' eyes that she wanted to scold little _me_ but held back as she ran out to play.

I looked at Carlisle who was grinning widely,

"Quite the enthusiastic little thing," he laughed lightly, making me smile, as we followed my six-year-old self out the door. I stood on the porch, the two of us watching _Esme _as she giggled happily, running off towards the beech tree. She circled the trunk of it, searching through the grass. She bent down, digging through the grass and when she stood up, there was a little caterpillar on her hand, and she was smiling gleefully at it. She was totally entranced by it as she sat down against the tree trunk, and pulled a blade of grass, offering it to the little insect; giggling again when the bug accepted it.

Her attention wasn't drawn to it very long, before she returned the caterpillar to the ground and sauntered off nonchalantly across the yard.

Towards the barn.

"She's gonna get in trouble," Carlisle warned in a teasing, singsong voice, as we both watch her peer into the barn, before slipping through the barely open door. There was silence for several minutes, before a commotion ensued.

An agitated bleat from a goat, a high-pitched scream, something metal crashing loudly to the ground, and then crying.

My mother flew past us, dashing off the porch and towards the barn. I stood still, watching, remembering what had happened.

"_I'm sorry mama," _the teary-eyed little girl in my mothers' arms sniffled, as she carried the child back towards the house. Mother's face was a mix of anger and sympathy. I later recognized it as that motherly look of disappointment I often used on my vampire kids. More often than not, on my boys.

"_I told you not to go in the barn," _mother scolded as she carried her daughter up onto the porch and sat on the porch swing with the girl in her lap. _Esme _sniffled again, rubbing her tears away, _"What happened?" _mother asked her, and between sniffles, she responded.

"_I wanted to feed the goat…and then he ran at me…and pushed me over," _ she coughed out. Mother smoothed out her hair and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"_You need to be careful. Those animals are dangerous. You're lucky you weren't harmed," _mother scolded softly, explaining it to her child. _Esme _nodded and leaned into her mother, who wrapped her arms around her daughter and sighed, _"Esme Anne, what are we going to do with you?" _she asked herself, the corners of her mouth turning up slightly, and carried her child inside.

Carlisle chuckled softly, pulling me into an odd embrace; odd due to the entanglement of one of our hands with the chain.

"Yes, my love, what are we going to do?" he asked, pressing his lips to my forehead, smiling. I giggled lightly.

I lifted our hands between us, and turned time forward more, seasons passing, people scurrying, nature changing…

When I stopped where I wanted to be, I slipped out of my husbands embrace, pulling him after me, off the front porch, and towards the beech tree, which had grow much bigger than the time we had arrived, but still smaller than its present day self.

"What year is it?" Carlisle asked, looking around. I pushed him down into the lush, green, summer grass, where he leaned his back against the trunk of the tree, and I and flopped down into his lap.

"You'll see," I said quietly as the front door of the house opened.

Right on time…

"_I'm just going outside!"_ a young woman's voice called back at her mother in the house, before letting the screen down slam closed, and she walked purposefully across the grass towards us. Her blouse loosely tucked into her ankle length skirt that swayed as she walked barefoot through the grass. Tucked under an arm was a roughed up looking sketchbook. I felt Carlisle's eyes on me before his lips pressed to my hair. I smiled as my 16-year-old self placed her pencil between her lips and grabbed the lowest branch of the tree, hoisting herself up beside us, and climbing up.

Carlisle was looking up, watching this younger me casually go about her climbing. I noticed the smile creeping onto the corners of his mouth. I playfully hit his chest.

"Are you looking up my skirt?!" I asked, fake-appalled. Carlisle chuckled,

"Does it count as perverted if I'm married to future you?" he laughed lightly, and we both looked back up as teenage me settled onto a thick tree limb, about 15 feet up the tree, and opened her sketch book. I was still nestled into my husband's lap, resting my head against his chest.

"This tree gave me the perfect vantage point to sketch the barn," I told my husband, even though I had mentioned it to him several times over our life together. He smiled, kissing my neck softly.

**OoO**

We sat under the tree as the day passed by peacefully at its normal speed. Occasionally we would look up when above us we would hear humming, frustrated scribbling, or mumbles as the girl perched in the tree limb talked to herself. It was mid afternoon when the screen door squeaked open, my mother, wiping her hands on her apron, looked around the yard, scanning for her daughter.

"_Esme! Come help with dinner!" _she yelled loudly, summoning her child. Immediately above us, teenage me closed her sketch book, tucking the pencil in the spine.

"_Shoot!" _ she cursed to herself for letting the time escape her and began descending the tree hastily.

"_Esme!" _ mother shouted again, cupping her hands around her mouth to make her yell louder, when she didn't get a response nor see her daughter running towards home. I perked up from position against my husband, who also sat up straight, tensing.

"_Coming mother!" _ came a shout from above us. Carlisle inhaled nervously.

"I wish I could catch you," he said, knowing what was coming, as did I. My mother hollered again, her expression clearly displaying her knowledge of her daughter up a tree.

"_Esme Anne Platt what are you doing?!" _she yelled in disbelief.

"_Nothing I-!"_

A gasp mingled with a frantic whimper fell from her lips as her foot missed the tree limb she was aiming for, followed by an ear-piercing scream as she fell towards the ground, landing in the grass only a few feet from where Carlisle and I sat. Her sketch book flew from her side, and a sickening snap was heard as her body hit the ground with a heavily weighted _thump!_

Immediately it was followed by another piercing scream from her lips, that became painfully mangled with cried of agony.

"_ESME!" _my mother shrieked, seeing the fall and running as fast as she could, holding her skirt up to run faster.

I felt Carlisle's embrace around me tighten, almost as if it would offer comfort to younger me as she writhed in pain on the grass, curled up in a ball on her side, clutching her leg and choking on cries . Mother was on the ground beside her in seconds, hysteria already setting in. To her, I'm sure she thought I was dying.

"_Henry! HENRY!" _she called frantically for my father, who was just walking out of the barn with his farm hand trailing behind him. When they heard my mother scream and he saw his wife and daughter on the ground, the both bolted towards us.

"_Ruth what happened?!" _ he asked mother frantically, seeing his daughter writhing in pain and sobbing.

"_She fell out of the tree," _mother explained, her hysteria relaxing a touch now that father was there. My skirt had slipped up to my thighs when I fell, and everyone could clearly see the ugly distortion that was my lower right leg. I felt Carlisle lean closer, his underlying doctor mode kicking in, even though he couldn't help the situation. I caught a moment where the farm hand was staring at my legs, quite in a daze, and father caught it, pulling my skirt down to cover them.

"_Thomas come help me get the cart. We have to take her to the hospital," _he said, and stood up, _"Ruth, stay here,"_

The two ran off towards the barn to fetch the horses while mother stayed and tried to calm the crying girl curled up against her lap.

I stood up from my husband's lap, pulling him to his feet. He looked extremely worried for the whimpering young woman.

"I'll be ok, you know that," I told him to relax his nerves, "You can't change the past," I added.

Father and Thomas came along several minutes later with the cart, and between the three of them, loaded _me _into the back of the cart on a pile of blankets and straw. Mother climbed up onto the wagon and held her daughter, as father gave _Thomas_ instructions to finish his work before leaving.

With one hand I heaved myself up onto the back of this cart and Carlisle furrowed his brow at me.

"What are you doing?" he asked, his hand raised towards me, involuntarily connected and forced to follow.

"Well it's 1911, our car is in 2023," I said logically, "And I don't know about you, but I would very much like Dr. Cullen to attend to this leg," I added the last part with a smirk, and Carlisle hopped up himself, right as the horses took off at my fathers command.


	6. Dr Cullen

**Before we continue, I want to say something that I am actually super excited about. As you may know, this website does not let you attach images to stories (unlike Wattpad which does), so I'd like to let you know that I have an Instagram page to go hand in hand with my stories. Go follow me to see photos I reference when writing my books. My handle is in my bio. Currently you'll find pictures for this book, as well as two of my other books "Centennial" & "The Way Back Home". The page is updated in unison with chapter updates, although not all chapters will have pictures for them.**

**Hope you enjoy this idea. **

**Esme's POV**

Mother comforted my younger self through the bumpy ride in the back of the wagon, to town. The young girl whimpered in pain, coiled up on her side, her head in her mother's lap. I knelt near her feet, Carlisle at my side, a hand on my back.

"_Mother it hurts so much,"_

"_I know darling, we're almost there,"_

I watched the exchange between my mother and myself as father pulled the cart up to the hospital. Carlisle and I slid off the back of the wagon and watched as my mother and father carefully helped their child down, supporting her as she whimpered and crying out in pain. A nurse had noticed the commotion outside and had come out with a wheelchair, allowing my parents to set _me_ down. I felt Carlisle's hand squeeze my gently as we followed several steps behind my parents and the nurse. The nurse led everyone into a small room, where she and my father lifted _me_ up onto a bed.

Carlisle and stood off to the side, listening and watching; his free hand was resting softly on my lower back.

"_Well, my dear, it appears you took quite a spill," _the nurse said with a comforting smile as she peered under _my_ skirt as it covered the already swelling leg, _"What's your name, love?" _she asked, lowering the hem of the skirt and turned to a clip board, picking up a pen.

"_Esme Platt," _younger me said softly. The nurse smiled.

"_And let me take a guess…you're…15?" _

"_Sixteen," I _corrected her with a cheeky smile. The nurse smiled again, collecting the clip board and looking at me.

"_I'll call for the doctor to come and take a look at that leg," _she said and swiftly left the room.

I felt Carlisle pull me a little closer as we listened to my parents talk to _me._

"_Esme,"_ my father began, his arms crossed as her stood beside mother _"I'm glad you were not injured any more than this, but young lady, we will be having a discussion about your foolishness when we get home,"_ he reprimanded. _She _hung her head, her hair falling in her face, and then tucked it behind her ears.

"_I'm sorry," _she mumbled.

The sound of the door opening again turned everyone's attention away from the poor girl, and the nurse reappeared, with the doctor behind her. I smiled, looking at my husband, and then back to the very different version of his that had entered the room. Dress shirt, tie, lab coat, stethoscope around his neck, and clip board in hand. His blonde hair slicked back in the way I remembered.

But I saw something I hadn't noticed in him when I was a human. The shift in the dilation of his pupils, and the ever so slight flare of his nose. He hesitated for only a second.

"_Miss Platt, I'm Dr. Cullen. I'm filling in for Dr. Cavell temporarily," _he explained as he smiled at me, and then set the clip board aside, _"Seems you've taken quite a nasty fall," he _said, seeing the swelling that was crawling toward my exposed ankle. Younger me nodded at the doctor's observation, _"Do you mind if I take a look?" _he asked, and the young girl nodded nervously. _He _smiled and gently lifted the skirt to just above herknees. I watched as _Dr. Cullen _did his examination of _Esme's _leg. Heprodded gently, trying not to inflict any pain on the wincing girl. After a few minutes _Dr. Cullen _lowered _Esme's _skirt and smiled softly at her and her parents, _"We're going to take an x-ray of your leg, but just by taking a look, I can probably guess you have a fairly serious break," he _explained, _"Mr. and Mrs. Platt, I'll have Nurse Miller escort you to the waiting room until we get your daughters leg fixed up here,"_

I watched as my mother and father were escorted out of the room, leaving younger me alone with _Dr. Cullen. _

"_Thank you," _the girl said in a shaky and raspy voice before clearing her throat upon realizing. _Dr. Cullen _looked up from the charts he had picked up again. _He _smiled.

"_You seemed uncomfortable with so many people around," he _said. _Esme _nodded.

"_My parents…they're pretty upset with me," _she told him. _Dr. Cullen _gave her another soft smile. A sympathetic one.

"_I'm sure they're very relieved you weren't hurt anymore than this," _he tried to assure her. She bit her lip, nervous and unsure.

Carlisle and I watched from the sidelines as this interaction between his former self, and younger me took place. I lifted the time turner up and fast forwarded until after the x-ray had been taken and _Esme _had been brought back to the room. Nurse Miller returned with a cart containing everything to build a cast.

"_Because of the type of break you have, Miss Platt, Nurse Miller and I are going to have to set your bone back in place," Dr. Cullen _explained.

"_Will it hurt?" Esme _asked, biting her bottom lip again.

"_It will, I'm sorry, but as soon as it's over I will give you something for the pain," Dr. Cullen_ promised, as he and Nurse Miller prepped the leg. I was looking at the leg that had been broken and felt my husbands hand squeeze mine softly.

_Dr. Cullen_ and the nurse each took a position and he took a moment to look _Esme _in the eyes.

"_Deep breath for me,"_ he said as _Esme _closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Then there was an unpleasant noise and a loud, painful yelp that came from her mouth. She grasped the bedding in her fists as tears spilled down her cheeks in thick streams.

Suddenly _Dr. Cullen's _head snapped up and his eyes were locked on his patient. I looked over at what had caught his attention. It was the fresh blood that was dripping from _Esme's _lip. She had bitten down hard on her lip to hold back her cries. The doctor rushed to her side, and gently wiped the blood from her lips with a damp tissue. _Esme _whimpered softly from the pain.

"_It's ok," _he said softly to her, tossing the bloody tissue away and offering her a new one. The tears were still streaming down her cheeks, _"Keep the pressure on that," _he instructed her, letting her hold the tissue. Then he reached into his pocket and pulled out a white handkerchief and handed it to her. She wiped her tears with it and the doctor returned to his place beside Nurse Miller, and drew up a needle, handing it to the nurse, who administered it to younger me. Shortly after she relaxed, when the pain had subsided. _Dr. Cullen _began wrapping her leg in a soft layer of bandage, and excused Nurse Miller, who hesitated, but he assured her that he was ok doing the cast.

After Nurse Miller had left, I watched as _Dr. Cullen_ tried to comfort the weary, teary eyed teen who was wiping her eyes with his handkerchief and, if I recalled correctly, inhaling his scent that lingered on it to calm herself.

"_So, if you'd like, Miss Platt, indulge me in how this incident occurred," Dr, Cullen _asked as he began casting the young girl's leg. _Esme _lowered the handkerchief from her face and took a deep breath.

"_Esme," _she said, her voice low, _"You can call me Esme,"_

_Dr. Cullen_ smiled softly, pausing for a moment, pondering on her name.

"_Carlisle," _he replied, and _Esme _smiled back at him.

"_I fell from a tree in our front yard," _she said, continuing their conversation, sounding embarrassed. _Carlisle _gave her a curious look.

"_And what was a young lady like you doing up a tree?"_ he asked, his voice genuinely curious. _Esme _lifted her head and smiled awkwardly, meeting his eyes.

"_I was sketching a picture of the yard. The view from that tree is breath taking," _she told him, a light of enthusiasm glowing in her eyes. Then her face fell slightly, _"When mother called me in for dinner, I climbed down too fast and slipped," _she added. _Carlisle _had his eyes on her leg as he plastered the bandages, but his ears were on her, listening to every word. He smiled sympathetically again. _Esme _looked at the doctor's work.

"_How is the pain?" _he asked. _Esme_ looked down at her toes, peeping out of the end of the cast the doctor was working on. She wiggled them ever so slightly, wincing.

"_It's tolerable," _she told him. _Carlisle _smiled softly.

"_I'll make sure to send something with you to manage the pain for a week or so," _he told her.

I turned my attention away from the two and back to my husband, who was watching in awe. I smiled, knowing he was feeling all the effects of nostalgia, watching the events of how we met playing out in front of us.

"Carlisle," I said softly, and he looked at me. His eyes met mine for a few seconds longer, studying my look.

"Yeah…" he whispered, "We should go,"

We left the room, and sauntered through the hallways of the hospital, passing my parents, who were sitting in the waiting room. As we stepped outside, I noticed the horses tied to a post outside, nibbling on the grass they could reach. Carlisle followed me over, as I smiled at them animals, reaching to pet the face of one gently. Although my hand fell through them, they seemed noticeably unease, their ears alert.

"Did they have names?" my husband asked, his tangled hand squeezing mine. I chuckled lightly.

"To father, no, they were work horses, not pets… but I called them Chance and Charlie," I told him. Carlisle smiled, reaching out to ghost-pet one of the horses.

"Shall we hop back on and mosey on home?" he chuckled, his cute demeanor making me smiled goofily.

"Yeah," I said, lifting the time turner to spin just forward enough ahead to when was wheeling younger me, followed by my parents, out the front door.

We stood watch as father climbed up on the wagon, and gingerly lifted _Esme _up in his arms so her father could take her, allowing her to settle on the blanket once more. The doctor also held out a hand to mother as she took a step up onto the cart, settling beside her daughter.

"_Thank you, doctor," _mother said with a kind smile. nodded, returning the smile, and then looking at _Esme_.

"_I think it's best you stay out of trees for the next while, Miss Platt," _he said light heartedly. Father's nerve seemed to be struck by the tone of his voice.

"_Oh, she'll be staying out of trees forever, so long as I can help it," _he grumbled, taking his seat and picking up the reins.

I motioned to my husband for us to climb up as well, and he jumped up on the wagon, helping me up. The two of us sat opposite on the side benches, Carlisle leaning forward, our linked hands meeting in the middle.

"_Thank you again, Dr. Cullen," _the young girl said softly from her spot near the front of the wagon, curled up with her mother and a blanket. The doctor could only offer her a simple smile before the wagon started rolled off, away from the hospital.

As I looked back, at the man who stood there, with a fond smile on his face, and his hands in his pockets, did I only then notice how black his eyes were. He curled his lips inwards, in an uncomfortable way, before turning and slowly sauntering back inside. When I turned my attention back to my husband across from me, his focus was on something else. The girl curled up to her mother had the doctor's handkerchief pressed softly to her face, tears streaming slowly out of the corners of her eyes. Her gaze was fixed back at where the doctor had stood moments ago.

I looked back at Carlisle again, grazing my thumb soothingly over the back of his hand.

"Was it as hard for you as it was for me?" I asked him. I know he heard me, because he sighed, exhaling heavily, but not turning his head to meet my gaze.

"Every fiber in my body was trying to push me to follow you," he said quietly, "It took more strength than you could imagine to turn around and go back inside,"

"I wish I knew," I replied, the only comfort I could offer him.

"It's ok," he said softly, finally turning his head. I turned my gaze to the sad girl in the corner, making his gaze follow mine, "You look heartbroken," he said sadly, watching younger me quietly inhale the scent on the cloth. I nodded.

"I was… It's not how I thought my heart would be broken the first time," I admitted.

We spent the rest of the ride back to the farm with silence between the two of us, listening to my parents scold younger me about my actions.

**OoO**

Upon arriving back at the farm, we hopped off the wagon, watching from the sidelines as mother helped _Esme _inside and father went to put the horses away. It was growing dark outside; the sun had set on the ride back and the many shades of purple and orange that had littered the partly clouded sky, were now fading to deep blue. We stood in the grass, listening to the crickets for a minute. It was peaceful.

"Now where?" Carlisle asked, as I lifted our hands again grasping the time turner.

"Back to the present day first," I said, as the world started spinning in fast forward.


	7. Married Life

_**Remember to follow me on Instagram for images from the chapter. Handle is in my bio.**_

_**April 16**__**th**__**, 2023**_

**Esme's POV**

"Are we back?" Carlisle asked when everything suddenly stopped spinning. We were back where we had left. The sun coming up, the yard an unkept mess, the farmhouse and barn crumbling, our car next to us, and the tractor still moseying along the unturned field.

"We're back." I confirmed, and carefully unwrapped the chain from our twined hands, freeing them. But Carlisle didn't let go immediately. Instead he pulled me into a tight hug, embracing me with every inch of his arms and chest. I felt smaller than I normally did when he hugged me. I felt him nestle his face into my hair. I buried my face in his chest, inhaling his scent. The scent that only he had, the scent that brought me the most comfort, the scent that lingered on his handkerchief. We stood there, embraced for several minutes until I pulled away.

"Now what?" he asked, a hint of apprehension in his tone.

"Back into the city," I told him, slipping the time turner into my pocket, "But I'm driving," I added, holding my hand out, and he hesitantly placed the keys in my palm. My fingers curled around them and I smiled softly, touching my other hand to his cheek. He captured it with his own and placed a kiss against my palm.

"Are you sure you're ok?" he asked quietly. I nodded softly, lowering my hand and walking around the car to the driver's side, climbing in. Carlisle climbed into the passenger seat, and both of us buckled up.

I took one more look at the crumbling house, knowing that the next time I came around, it would probably be missing the roof, or the chimney.

As I pulled the car out of the yard and back onto the road headed back towards the city, I felt Carlisle's left hand come to rest on my thigh. I could tell he was nervous, worried. And despite my attempt to hide it, he could tell my nerves were just below the surface. I was very aware of what I was about to walk into and force my husband to follow me. The guilt was just below the surface as well, throbbing in my chest. But I tried to push it down. Carlisle voice broke me from my thoughts, almost making me jump.

"You lived _in _the city, or just outside?" he asked, trying to cut the tension that hung in the air.

"Um… well it would have been outside the city back then, in the more rural outskirts. But it's probably inside the city limits now," I said quietly.

"Esme?" he asked softly, and I looked over at him for a moment, "Are you sure about this?" he asked. I sighed softly, as the edge of the city came into view.

"It's part of the past. And there are some things I wished I knew about, that I have the chance to find out now," I told him. He turned slightly in his seat.

"What do you mean?" he asked. I sat silent for a moment before telling him.

"I'd love to just follow him out one night, when he leaves me alone… I always had my suspicion he slept around and thought I was clueless… And to see the look on his face when Edward walked in," I told my husband. That feeling of sinister satisfaction was lacing my tone as I gripped the wheel, just a little to tight.

"Is that it?" he asked, a nervousness in his voice. I sighed.

"I just want you to see," I admitted, lowering my head, and leaning back into the seat as I turned onto the perimeter heading east around the city. Carlisle took one of my hands off the wheel and laced our fingers together, before lifting it to his lips and peppering the backside of my hand with soft kisses.

**OoO**

The house wasn't there, and for that I was glad, or getting out of the car would have been much more difficult. I climbed out of the car, walking around to the passenger side as Carlisle was stepping out. He took my hand in his, and we walked a bit further down the sidewalk, closer to the house, trying not to look suspicious if anyone happened to see us. The curtains of the home were closed as it was early Sunday morning and many people were still asleep. I sighed, turning my back to the yard, and reached my free hand into the pocket, grasping the time turner and gently wrapping the gold chain around our fingers. I could feel Carlisle's gaze on me, before I felt his finger brush my hair away from my eyes, and then his lips pressed softly to my forehead.

"Are you ok?" he asked, and I looked up to meet his gaze. It was a look of concern, worry. I hesitated to answer; because I wasn't ok. If my heart was beating, I would be shaking right now.

"I will be," I tried to assure him. We stared at each other, silent for a moment, before I sharply broke out gaze and looked down, grasping the little knobs of the pendant, and took a deep breath, before I started turning.

Backwards time flew, as I tried to focus on the years going by.

…

Turn of the century

…

80's

…

50's

…

30's

…

1919\. For a brief moment the world around us was decorated with patriotism. The end of the war.

1918

1917

1916.

And then I stopped.

I slowly looked up and took in the sight.

It was late 1916. Winter. Snow heavily decorated the land around us.

From inside the house, through a partially open curtain, a fire cast shadows across the living room.

I walked toward the house, up the path, towards the front porch, with Carlisle trailing beside me. The top step creaked the way I remembered, and I peered into the widow that was the living room. The house was quiet inside, only the fire was crackling softly.

It was strange looking into what was once my home. The tortuous hell that was my life for four years.

Curled up in the corner, asleep in a chair, with a blanket over most of her body, was a young woman, who even in her sleep, looked exhausted.

_Me._

Although I couldn't recall one of these nights, it was still like déjà vu somehow.

"He must be out," I said, my voice low, as I turned and looked at Carlisle. I pointed to the only set of footprints that were walking away from the house.

We didn't seem to leave any evidence of our presence.

I stepped away from the window, and swung open the screen door, and then pushed open the other door, entering the house, with Carlisle directly on my tail.

The heat and light were radiating from the living room, where my attention was drawn. I stood in the entrance way, taking in the sight that had had since been a foggy one in my distant memory. The stairs in front of me that led to the second floor, the kitchen entrance to the left, the living room entrance to the right. At the end of the hall was the bathroom.

I looked over to Carlisle, who was admiring a hat that was on the coat tree. He turned and gave me a soft, comforting smile. The silence was better than the plethora of questions I'm sure he was trying to keep to himself. He followed me into the living room where the fire light was flickering. I sat down on the couch, Carlisle settling next to me, a bit uneasy. That made two of us then. I noticed him looking around.

"I know you want to say something," I said, almost making him jump. He turned and gave me another weak smile, but remained silent, "Say something, love," I whispered.

"Did you decorate?" he asked, almost questioning himself, and I had to resist the urge to laugh slightly. I knew that wasn't what was bothering him, but I answered him anyway.

"Some what," I said with a sigh, "The furniture was here when I moved in. I added the little touches here and there," I explained, pointing to the pictures on the walls, and the things on the mantle.

"Upstairs?" he asked, looking up at the ceiling. My gaze followed his.

"Three bedrooms. A master, a guest, and one is more of a storage room," I said, my eyes falling to the calendar on the wall.

_December 10__th__, 1916_

I had only been married for three months at this point and hadn't really finished putting all my things away in my new home.

Only three months meant that things hadn't really gotten that bad yet. I think we had only had a handful of small disagreements in those three months.

"You know, it started off ok," I said quietly, "It wasn't hell from day one, but it was never the life I wanted for myself," I added, leaning forward and resting my arms on my knees.

That's when I heard it…

The front step creaked under a heavy boot.

I felt my entire body tense up. Every nerve in my body was telling me to get out. Despite not needing to breathe, I felt like I couldn't take in enough of that unnecessary oxygen.

When the door swung open softly, and closed even quieter, I relaxed slightly.

I heard it; the sound of a coat being taken off and hung by that pretty hat, and then the footfalls. I could only watch out of the corner of my eye, not wanting to make eye contact with this ghost of my past.

The footfalls took two steps up the stairs, before pausing for a moment, and then turning and coming back down. I closed my eyes as they approached, and the stopped again. I feared opening my eyes.

"_Esme?"_

I opened my eyes.

The voice was soft and quiet.

The girl curled up in the chair stirred from her sleep, lifting her hands to rub her eyes like a small child, and stretching.

"_Charles?" she _grumbled questioningly, before opening her eyes, squinting as they adjusted in the dimly lit room, _"What time is it?" she _asked, nestling back into the chair.

"_It's long after midnight, love," he _said and from beside me was a soft, low growl. I squeezed my husbands' hand softly, calming him. They were only ghosts.

"_I must have….fallen asleep after dinner," Esme _said in between a yawn, letting her eyes slip closed again. _Charles _half smiled, before reaching for the poker by the fireplace and pushing the logs around; the flames dying down as he put it back.

"_Come on, the beds probably comfier than this old thing," he _said, scooping _Esme _up in his arms, blanket and all. Herhead slumped against his shoulder as he turned to take her upstairs.

"_After midnight?" _she mumbled softly, _"Don't you have to work early?" _

Their voices faded as they disappeared up the stairs, and I frowned, looking at the clock. It was indeed long after midnight. Two in the morning, actually. I sighed, running my fingers through my hair with my free hand, still staring at the dark stairs.

From beside me, Carlisle let out a heavy exhale.

"That was….sweet, almost," he said softly, a hint of sadness in his tone.

I leaned into his shoulder, resting my head against it, and closing my eyes, listening the dying fire; the room becoming dark behind my eyelids.

"Are you sure you want to go forward?" he asked, placing his lips against my hair. I took a deep breath and sat up straight again.

"Yeah," I said, standing up, pulling him with me. I lifted the little pendant that was turning slowly and carefully presented it to my husband. He gave me a look of concern. "It's ok. Go ahead," I assured him.

He took it gently, holding the knobs, studying it as it turned at its casual pace.

"Just turn it away from you to go forward in time, and towards you to go back," I explained, and he hesitated for a moment before he started turning it. I studied his face as he moved time. He was watching whatever was happening around us in fast forward. I spaced out, on focusing on him.

Suddenly he stopped, holding the dial in place, a look of horror on his face.

I was afraid of turning around and looking at what he had stopped at.

"Esme," he said, in barely a whisper, the devastation and pain in his voice forced me to turn my head. As I turned, my eyes graced the calendar.

_June 18__th__, 1917_

And the horror behind me was one sharp from my memory.

The disheveled, battered woman was pressed up against the wall near the kitchen entrance, frozen in place. Seething above her, the angry man, with his back to us, but a hand raised, ready to strike. I didn't need to see his face to know he was drunk. His hair was disheveled, his suit jacket was undone.

Carlisle stood just as frozen as the other two figures in the room. Very suddenly, but not to my surprise, a deep snarl torn from his chest, and I had to wrap my arms around him the best I could.

"They're just ghosts," I whispered to him.

_Just ghosts._

"Why?" Carlisle asked, his voice breaking.

"He went out to drink after work and came home late. He was drunk, and angry that I had eaten without him, and his food was cold," I sighed, looking back at the frozen sight again, "Nothing I did was right, except to submit,"

"This isn't the worst?" he asked, and I shook my head.

"No, the worst was after the war. That's why he went out drinking… his number came up for the draft," I said, turning back to face Carlisle. He was still holding the knobs of the time turner firmly. I touched his arm softly with my free hand, and then gently pulled the pendant free from his grasp, allowing it to turn on its own, pressing play on the inevitable.

"_You stupid-"_

_SMACK!_

The blow to the side of the face was hard enough that it stunned her, and she stumbled, falling to the floor, smacking her head on the corner of the table by the door when she tried to stop her fall.

Recovering from the fall several seconds later, she raised her hand to her head, smearing the blood that was just beginning to run from her hairline. Her face displayed pure agony. The cheek that had been hit was a sharp red, but the wound on her head was in more pain.

_Charles' _tense position softened partially, but he offered no hand to the bleeding woman slumped against the wall and table.

She let out a shaky breath and strained hard to put herself up. She stared, wide eyed, but furious at her husband.

"_What the hell," _she said, looking at him. There was no sympathy behind his eyes. She pushed past him, only making it only a few steps when he grasped her wrist.

"_Esme-"_

"_Don't!" _she snapped, pulling her wrist free, and headed toward the bathroom. She only made it a few more steps before she lost her balance and the blood covered hand grasped the railing, smearing it with crimson.

"That was first time he made me bleed," I said, my voice barely there.

"When did he leave?" Carlisle asked, his voice equally as gone.

"A month later. He was gone until the war ended," I said. I had told him that part before. That year was the best of my entire marriage.

"Can we please leave?" he asked, as _Esme _closed the bathroom door a bit harshly, and _Charles _stormed upstairs.

"Go forward a year," I said, handing the pendant to him again. He sighed, pain behind his eyes, but did it.

_June 1918_

When time slowed again to a normal pace, a much happier, healthier looking _Esme _sat stretched out on the couch, partially laying back, her skirt halfway up to her thighs. But she didn't care. She was nose deep in a novel she had bought herself; a Jane Austen.

"See," I tried to calm my husband down, "Happy,"

Suddenly his lips were pressed to mine, kissing me softly, before they moved, where he kissed my neck and buried his face against my skin. I wrapped my arms around him, cradling his head.

"It's ok," I whispered, close to his ear. I received another kiss on the neck.

"Please, love, can we skip to 1920. I can't watch it get worse….it hurts," he pleaded softly. I nodded, lifting the little hourglass, and keeping my eyes only on the calendar.


	8. 1920 & 1927

_September 6th, 1920_

**Esme's POV**

Morning was breaking in the living room, the suns rays peering through the window. It was early, maybe six in the morning. Footsteps make their way slowly down the stairs, every odd step creaked under the weight. _Esme_ slowly wandered into the kitchen, looking extremely pale and tired. Despite that, she was already dressed in a full skirt and blouse. They looked terrible together; a deep green colored loose skirt, and a frumpy, elbow length looking ivory top. But they were home clothes, not clothing for out in public. Clothing for cooking and cleaning.

Her caramel locks were disheveled and cascading over her shoulders. Like they had been brushed but not styled with any purpose.

I let go of Carlisle, ending our embrace, giving him a soft kiss, before the two of us walked towards the kitchen for the first time. We stood just outside the entrance.

_Esme _had put the coffee pot on, and had started on breakfast, cracking several eggs into a pan. They sizzled loudly, filling the house with the smell of them.

She sighed heavily, and then closed her eyes, moaning in pain, discomfort. She ran the back of her hand over her forehead, wiping away the sweat that was forming.

She leaned back against the counter, her eyes still closed, taking slow deep breaths, and then swallowed hard, before turning back to the pan of scrambling eggs, and plated them, before grabbing an orange that was on the counter, peeling it, and breaking it into wedges, and adding it to the plate.

Just as she finished assembling the single plate of food, setting it on the table, the stairs creaked like before.

_Charles _brushed passed Carlisle and I.

"_Morning dear,"_ he said with a gruff, morning voice, reaching around _Esme _to grab a coffee mug. She didn't move, as she was leaning against the counter again, breathing deeply. But when _Charles _bumped her, she winced, gently touching her breast for a moment.

"_Morning," _she mumbled, opening her eyes, and trying to fake that she was ok. _Charles _poured himself his cup of coffee, black, the way he always drank it.

_Like his soul, _I thought bitterly to myself.

_Esme _watched as he sat down, _"No toast this morning, we used the last of the bread last night," _she said.

"_You have all day to bake another," _he said plainly, nonchalantly as he dug into his breakfast.

"_Do you just want leftovers then for work?" _she asked. He waved a hand at her.

"_No," _he said with his mouth full, mid chew, _"I'm having lunch at the Black Rabbit with some co-workers," _he said, going back to shovel in another mouthful of eggs.

"_That pub?" _she asked, seemingly annoyed. He nodded.

"_Are you not eating anything?" _he asked, changing the subject. _Esme _shook her head.

"_I don't feel too good. I think I might be getting the flu early," _she grumbled.

"_Get some air after you do your things today, I'm sure you'll be fine," _he said as he shoveled in a few orange slices and chugging half his coffee. There was silence in the room for the rest of the time he ate.

He ended up leaving two slices of the orange before hurrying to get his coat of for work. He offered_ Esme _a forceful kiss, as he took his hat off the rack, and stepped out the door. _Esme _leaned against the wall, closing her eyes again.

"You look very ill," Carlisle said, speaking for the first time since we got to this time point. I nodded, smiling almost, because he didn't seem to realize what it was.

_Esme _groaned uncomfortably again, and she opened her eyes, her face suddenly draining of all color as her hands fell to her stomach, resting for a second, and then she darted down the hall, running into the bathroom, not even closing the door. I didn't look down the hall, but I heard the violent retching that brought back a lot of emotional pain. After several moments, the vomiting and coughing stopped, and I pulled Carlisle a few feet from the open bathroom door. I felt his arms wrap around me._ Esme _lifted herself from the bathroom floor after several minutes, and stood in front of the sink, rinsing out her mouth. She splashed her face with cold water, then dried off. We watched as she stared at her reflection in the mirror, and then tenderly touched her chest again, wincing again. Then her hands fell to her stomach, her face contorting, almost thoughtful, before she left the bathroom, moving past us, and going into the living room, stopping in front of the calendar.

"_No," _she let out a shaky, disappointed sigh, touching her stomach again, _"Shit,"_

I felt my husbands' arms tighten, around me, his hands falling to my own stomach.

_Esme _sat down in the chair by the fireplace, relaxing into it, her face ridden with shock, one hand on her stomach.

"That's when you knew?" my husband asked. I nodded, sighing softly, leaning back into his chest.

"I had been feeling tired for about a week, my breasts were sore, the vomiting. And then I checked the calendar, and I was late," I said the last part quietly. Despite being with my husband for over a hundred years, and him being a doctor, human bodily function had never been apart of our lives, and strangely felt like a taboo thing to even mention.

I felt him nestle his nose into my hair, offering a comforting hug.

"How long until you leave?" he asked softly. I let out a heavy sigh, taking pity on the poor woman who was trying to process this new information.

"Tomorrow," I told him, "He doesn't show for dinner, and comes home drunk. Normal for him most nights since the war ended. I had planned on telling him, but when I protest going to bed to with him…" I cut myself off, I felt shaky, "A lot of bruises, and a welt from his hand…" I choked out, "I packed as soon as he went to work,"

Carlisle kissed my temple.

"Ready to go back?" he asked, gently lifting our tangled hands, eyeing the pendant. I turned in his arms.

"One more thing, then we'll go back," I told him, picking the pendant up myself, and turning it forward again.

_Esme _had long left and started her new life. The house around us had change tremendously. It had become much more haunting.

_Dark, depressing, desolate. _

Dust settled around us, having not been cleaned in several years. Photos that were once on the mantle had been pulled down. Beer cans littered the kitchen counter, dishes piled randomly, a coat was tossed over a chair. Even the floors were much dirtier.

_March of 1927_

I didn't care what specific day it was. But I had stopped when a very ominous figure entered the house in the dark. I turned, seeing _Charles_ on the couch, a beer in hand, half empty, dark circles under his eyes. They snapped towards the shadows, the figure lurking in the hall.

"_Who the hell are you?!"_ the drunken slur of _Charles_ barked at the shadows, fumbling to stand up. The intruder stepped out of the dark and into the light.

_Edward._

His eyes were barely holding onto gold. But they were blazing with a fire of hatred. I recalled the time when he left. It had been devastating. I had been a mess, Carlisle had chased him to state line, but returned to me without him later that night. I later found out from Edward that Charles had been his first victim of rebellion.

"_You get the hell out of my house!" _he shouted, reaching to grab _Edward_, but was stopped dead in his tracks, _Edward's _strength holding him back.

"_I'm here for something," Edward's _throaty, ominous tone had _Charles _sitting down cautiously, a fear growing behind his eyes.

"_What would that be?" Charles _asked, his voice still very sharp and demanding. _Edward _chuckled to himself, as he stalked in that ominous, predatorial way, running a hand over the dirty mantle. When his fingers grazed over a down facing frame, he tilted it up, setting it back upright. It was the photo from our wedding. The glass was cracked in a perfect line diagonally. _Edward_ took the frame off the mantle and handed it to _Charles_.

"_Take it," Edward _snapped harshly at him, and then let a growl rumble in his chest. The kind that was threatening a prey.

I felt Carlisle's hand rubbing my upper arm soothingly.

The _Edward _got very close, hovering over _Charles _threateningly, whose hands were shaking slightly as he took the photo frame from _Edward_.

_Charles _looked down at it, and for a moment I thought I saw a look of remorse.

"_You Charles Evenson, without a doubt, are the most disgusting, disgraceful, waste of life to walk this earth," Edward _snarled at him, stalking around the living room again. _Charles _looked up, probably confused how this disturbing teenager had broken into his house, had more strength than a grown man, and was talking so disrespectfully to him.

"_Excuse me!? You should watch your fucking mouth!" _he shouted, going to stand up again, but Edward was in front of him in the blink of an eye and shoved hm back down, knocking the air out of his chest.

"_And you should stay down you piece of shit!" Edward _snapped back, snarling baring his teeth.

"_What are you? Why are you here?" Charles _asked, when the air returned to his lungs. _Edward _chuckled, smirking.

"_I'm here, as a little favor…to you wife… I mean ex-wife," Edward _told him, and _Charles' _eyes snapped right up to him.

"_That bitch ran off, and I hope she got just what she deserved," Charles _seethed, and _Edward _glared at him.

"_Oh she did, but you and I are thinking very differently, you bastard," Edward _said, looming over _Charles, "She got everything she deserved, the first and foremost being a husband who loves her, and has never violently laid a hand on her," Edward _snapped, his hand suddenly holding _Charles_ throat. The fear was evident in the man's eyes.

"_How…do you even... know where…she is?" Charles _choked, _Edward's _hold on his trachea was cutting off his ability to breathe.

"_That doesn't concern you," _my son told him, letting go of his throat, _Charles _gasping for air.

"_That woman belongs to me! So it does concern me! And you'll tell me right now or I swear _I'll-_" Charles _snapped again. In a fraction of a second _Edward_ had cut him off and had an iron grip on his arm, and I heard the bone snap, making _Charles _scream in agony.

"_She does not belong to you! A woman is no one's property! And you had no right to do the things that you did to her!" Edward _barked at him, releasing his now mangled and broken arm from his grip. The pain and fear in that man's eyes almost brought me joy.

"_She…deserved…everything that came her way!" Charles _shouted through gripped teeth, holding his broken arm. _Edward's _eyes were on fire, he was shaking with rage.

"_You beat your own wife unconscious and raped her!" Edward _shouted so loud that it made me flinch, and Carlisle embraced me tighter, _"You treated her horribly! And you sit there, looking at your wedding photo and wonder why she never loved you!?" Edward _seethed, and the reach out, hitting Charles across the face.

"Edward…" I whispered. I had seen my son's outburst against his father and I, but I had never seen him this violent. So watching this scene unfold in front of us was scaring me.

By now, _Charles' _arm, throat, and face were beginning to bruise. He could no longer get off the couch, and the empty beer bottle had been long forgotten on the floor.

"_What do you want from me?" Charles _asked _Edward, _his voice trembling. _Edward _smiled, chuckling almost demonically.

"_Justice," _he stated, _"For her, not on behalf of her. Because if it was up to her, I wouldn't be here," Edward _explained to him, and suddenly he was pinning _Charles_ by the throat again, _"But you don't deserve to live, you absolute filth," _he seethed, his teeth inches from _Charles' _neck.

And at the moment he sunk them into the man's flesh, Carlisle pulled my face into his chest and the agonizing scream was abruptly cut off.

**OoO**

**April 16****th****, 2023**

"It's ok," Carlisle's voice soothed in the darkness. Fingers were stroking my hair softly, "It's ok love. It's over," he whispered.

When I looked up from his chest, we were outside again, beside the car, and it was morning.

He had turned us back to the present.

I felt the chain that was tight around my hand and panicked, letting go of my husband and frantically pulled it free. It fell to the sidewalk and I threw myself back into his arms, burying my face in his chest again.

"You're ok," he said softly again, his lips resting on the top of my head. He held me just a tight.

"I-…I didn't think…he would taunt him so much," I stuttered, shocked by my son's actions. It was one thing to hear Edwards telling of what he did, but a completely different thing to see it.

Carlisle leaned his back against the passenger side of the car, and I turned my head to the side, as he softly ran his fingers through my hair at the nape of my neck.

"I think that was enough. We should go home," he suggested, his tone very deep and almost haunted. I shook my head.

"Not yet," I mumbled, my cheek pressed into his shirt, "Not yet," I repeated, pleading.

"Esme," Carlisle sighed, as I inhaled his scent to try and calm myself. I had been on the verge of tears since _past Edward_ had walked into the house.

"Carlisle please," I said, gripping onto his shirt firmly, "Please," I nearly had to beg. Carlisle sighed again almost in defeat, lifting my chin to look up at him. Our eyes met and I could see the worry and pain in them. But I snaked an arm behind his head and pulled his lips down to mine. He cupped my jaw softly, before breaking our lip lock.

"OK," he whispered, "Where to next?"

I smiled, pulling out of his arms to pick up the necklace and tuck it safely into my jacket pocket again, and then reached up and caressed his cheek with a soft smile.

"Ashland," I replied.


	9. Wisconsin

**Remember to visit my Instagram for photos from the chapter. IG handle in bio.**

**Some lemons at the end of this one.**

**Esme's POV**

Several hours of silence later, as we passed Chicago, and then Madison, and began heading north on interstate 39 up through Wisconsin, the weather was starting to get very dark and gloomy.

I was in the passenger seat again, fiddling with the pendant of the necklace, tipping it back and forth, watching the sand travel through the tiny hourglass. Carlisle had one hand on the wheel and the other resting on the center console. I tucked the pendant away again and slipped my fingers in between his. He glanced over, almost surprised, but then his expression relaxed.

"You haven't said a word in almost 8 hours, love," Carlisle said, squeezing our hands softly. I looked over at him, catching a glimpse at the clock. It was the late afternoon already. We would probably arrive in Ashland close to nightfall.

"I'm just… lost," I sighed, lifting his hand and placing a kiss on it. He gave me a dreary smile.

"Talk to me," he said softly, and I looked out the window.

"Can it wait?" I requested, "At least until we get to the house,"

Carlisle nodded, and turned his focus back to the rod. But I shifted closer to him and snuggled up to his arm, wrapping my hands around his bicep.

"I love you," I whispered, and he turned his head, kissing my temple.

"And I love you," he replied, capturing my lips for a moment.

**OoO**

Eight miles east of Ashland, Carlisle turned the car onto a gravel road that was hidden in the density of the bush. The road headed north for one mile, and crossed a bridge over a small river, before it curved slightly and turned into a dirt driveway. The house sat near the riverbank, surrounded by tree cover.

When we had moved to Duluth, I knew Ashland was only an hour and a half drive. But I had not taken the plunge to drive out here and visit. Tackling the memories alone was just too hard, and with Carlisle trying to settle into his new position, and the kids going to school, I had pushed off the thoughts.

As the house came into view, I lifted my head from my husband's arm, and ran my fingers through my hair. The years had been cruel to it, but not as harsh as they had been to the farm. The Ashland house, as Carlisle had explained to me when I first joined the family, had been built in 1919 and was brand new when he and Edward moved in. The farmhouse had been in the family since 1881, putting nearly 40 years between it and the Ashland house. But considering this one was also over a century old; it was holding up okay.

Carlisle pulled the car up in front of the house, killing the engine. Silence hung in the air between us for a moment as we both looked at the house.

Carlisle unbuckled himself, and reached into his pocket, pulling out a small bunch of keys on a ring. He shuffled through them before handing a selected key to me.

"Do the honours," he smiled, and climbed out of the car. I hesitantly followed, unbuckling myself and climbing out of my seat. Carlisle was already on the passenger side, opening the door for me, and offering me a hand sweetly. I gave him a soft smile and stood up, closing the door behind me.

We walked up the front step that was littered with old, decaying leaves from the fall. I slipped the key into the lock, and it clicked loudly when I turned it. The hinges creaked even louder as the door swung open, and we stepped inside the tiny home.

It was a quaint, two story home, with a kitchen that had room for a table, and a living room with a large fireplace. The upstairs had three bedrooms. One had been Edward's space, one had been my room; later shared by Carlisle and I, and one had been Carlisle's office. As well as a bathroom. It was small, simple, and dimly lit even when the power had been on. But in the dimness of the late April afternoon, the house felt almost abandoned.

"I'll go grab our bags," my husbands voice almost made me jump out of my trance. I nodded as he walked nonchalantly back out to the car. I stepped further into the house, leaving the door open as I did.

Some of the furniture that we had left behind had obviously deteriorated over the years. The table in the kitchen had been bleached by the sun that peered through the east facing window every morning. It was also obvious that a mouse had gotten it at some point, because the legs had little scratches and nibbles all over them; matching the chairs. I wandered further into the house.

The living room was partially empty. A couch had been left behind, draped in a heavy linen. As well as a long wooden coffee table. The mantle that sat empty was coated in a thick layer of dust like the rest of the house. The entire house had that stale dust smell, but it wasn't terrible. I parted the dusty living room curtains, letting in the remainder of the days light, and opened the window, letting the draft of fresh air into the house.

I pulled the linen sheet off the couch and folded it carefully, keeping the settled dust from moving around, and set it aside. I shuddered at the sight of the fabric and walked out of the living room. As I passed the door to head upstairs, I noticed Carlisle closing the trunk of the car.

The old wooden steps creaked like the door with each step. Upstairs was completely empty, except for a few things. The plastic covered mattress leaning against the wall in our old room, as well as the chest of draws, the shelf Edward hadn't wanted from his room, and his old chaise lounge chair.

I wander aimlessly into our old room, running my fingers across the dust covered dresser, my fingers leaving a trail in their path.

I didn't need any special necklace to be taken back in time to the first few months of our marriage. It made me smile, the thought; _the giggles of a young woman as her husband kissed her neck, making her laugh as if she had been ticklish. Pure, unhinged happiness filled the air of the room. They were truly happy._

I heard footsteps approaching up those creaky stairs and I sighed, brushing the dust off my fingers, being pulled from my own recollection.

"What are you doing up here?" his voice asked softly, and I smiled to myself, turning to see him leaning in the doorway. He had a gentle look on his face as he stepped forward and I slipped into his embrace.

"I was just thinking," I said quietly, letting his scent envelope me, pushing out that stale dust.

"How about we stay here for the night, and then go into town tomorrow?" he suggested, resting his lips on my forehead. I nodded in agreement, "I'll go find some wood to throw in that old fireplace," he said, as his arms let go of me and he touched my hair softly before turning and leaving the room.

When I heard the front door close, I slowly made my way downstairs. Carlisle had set our bags on the dust free couch. I noticed he had also brought in a blanket from the car. I pulled the dusty sheet off the coffee table, setting it aside, and moved our bags to the table.

I pulled my makeup wipes out of my bag and sat down on the couch, wiping my face the best I could with the small handheld mirror I had. When I finished I pulled off my jacket, setting it across the table, and I was about to find something more relaxed to wear than the leggings and blouse I had still been wearing since we left home, when my husband reappeared with a large armful of logs and kindling.

He smiled happily, setting them down by the fireplace, and began building a fire.

"Found some dry one's luckily," he said as he pulled a small match box from his pocket; the one from the car's emergency kit, and set the kindling ablaze. The sun had set below the horizon, and the living room was lit primarily by the fire now.

My phone suddenly rang from somewhere within my bag, and I hurried to find it. Seeing on the third ring that it was Alice calling, I answered, trying to sound cheerful.

"Hi Alice," I said, and Carlisle smiled at me from across the room.

"Hi mom. We got your note. Are you guys having fun on your road trip?" she giggled slightly. I smiled, leaning forward.

"Yeah," I said softly, "Sorry we ran off sweetie," I said, trying to sound apologetic.

"Oh it's ok, you guys deserve the extra time away from us," she said, and I smiled to myself. There was silence on her end of the phone for a minute.

"Alice?" I asked, and suddenly her voice was much more somber, almost upset.

"Are you and dad ok?" she asked, "All weekend you guys have been disappearing in and out of my visions for no reason," she told me, and I felt my body tense. Carlisle's eyes had locked to mine, knowing he could hear Alice's end of the conversation too.

"We're ok sweetie. I promise," I tried to assure her.

"It's just…everything is all fuzzy. I keep seeing that necklace that Emmett gave you, and then you and dad vanish from my sight, and reappear at random. It's all so weird," she said, almost sounding in distress from it. I felt awful for not being able to tell her.

"Alice, hun, I promise we're ok. Your father and I are just…" I paused, trying to find the right way to not give away this secret she clearly had no idea about, "…taking a little nostalgia trip," I finished. Alice seemed to lighten up.

"Ok, well, you'll call if you run into trouble?" she asked, clearly wanting to know she could rely on us if her foresight was failing her.

"Of course, sweetheart. And we're not far from home, so call us if you guys need anything, ok?" I told her.

"We will mom. Have fun. Stay safe. Bye dad!" she finished a bit louder, although unnecessary. Carlisle smiled to himself.

"Bye Alice," he said in a normal tone, as he wandered across the living room to close the window and curtains.

"See you soon hun," I said, and then hung up, sighing. Carlisle came and sat down beside me, sinking into the old couch. The springs on the couch seemed to be the only thing in the house that didn't creak.

I tossed my phone on the table, as Carlisle slipped an arm around me, and I leaned into his shoulder. The sound of the crackling fire filled the silence between us momentarily.

"Something's weighing on you, love?" he asked me, although he already knew something was. I closed my eyes, trying not to think about it for a moment, but it wanted out.

"I don't know why I wanted to do this?" I said, leaning my full weight into him. He leaned back against the couch, embracing me with both arms, "This was all so stupid," I scolded myself, "After how long it took to not think about all these things, and now I'm just cutting open old wounds again," I said, resting my cheek against his chest as one of his hands came up and stroked my hair.

"Wounds heal. They always do," he said soothingly.

I felt that pain growing in my chest; the one that you get from holding back agony or sorrow.

"It's not fair that you have to stitch them up again. Wasn't once enough?" I asked, rhetorically, and sniffled, then buried my face fully against his neck, letting his scent calm me. I felt him chuckled slightly.

"It's my job. Literally and figuratively," he said, and I looked up, as he offered me a soft smile, then pressed his lips to my temple. There was more silence between us before I spoke.

"I know the pain isn't going to disappear overnight," I sighed, "I wish I could sleep. Just forget and turn off the hurting for a few hours,"

Carlisle exhaled deeply before speaking.

"Think of something happy," he said softly, "Look where we are," he added and my eyes darted around the room, picturing what the house had been a century ago. "I remember only good times here," he said.

My brain was in such a dark place after the events of today I could only feel the bad things creeping into my mind.

"I killed 6 people while we were in this house," I muttered miserably, wishing tears wold pool in my eyes, "And had more than a dozen mental break downs…. I debated leaving 3 times. I let Edward run away-"

Carlisle pressed a finger to my lips to stop me.

"Happy thoughts, love," he said, and then scanned the dimly lit room himself. "This is where I fell in love with you. And that's the happiest memory of my existent. This is the place I first felt like I was coming home to something I cherished. And the place where my family was. A hundred years ago I was sitting on this exact couch while you were gardening right out there, and I was reading that stupid Emily Bronte book I hate so much, but you made me read, when I realized I wanted to marry you. It's the place I first danced with my wife, and where you first told me you loved me," he said, and then looked down at me and smiled, "Everything about this place makes me happy,"

I smiled softly at the memory of myself sitting across from the fire in the old wooden rocking chair that had been my grandmothers, knitting a pointless scarf to practice my strength. Edward was still at school, Carlisle had come home from his shift early, and he had been on my mind all day…

"This was the first place you kissed me," I said quietly, making him smile.

He leaned down and sealed our lips together gently.

I felt a hand slide down my back, and then slip partially up my blouse. I knew what he was doing, and I would gladly go right along with it. I moaned softly against his lips, intensifying the kiss, and then slowly laid back, pulling him with me so he was forced to hover over me. I pulled him closer, moving my lips to his neck, and down his collar bone that his partially undone button up was giving me accept to.

He broke away from me, only for a moment to smirk,

"How many times has this happened?" he asked, chuckling. I smiled,

"What?" I asked, faking dumb.

"Us making out on this couch like teenagers," he laughed, dipping his head to kiss down the center of my V-neck.

"More than I can count," I said with a sharp inhale, "But once more wouldn't hurt," I added as he sat up and began unbuttoning his shirt slowly, but I shot up from my back and grabbed his wrist, stopping him abruptly. I gave him a sultry look and torturously slow did I straddle his lap and began unbuttoning his shirt myself. Sliding it down his shoulders, he shed it and tossed it onto the table along side my jacket.

"Esme," he breathed against my neck and I captured his lips once more, letting his hands slide fully up my ribcage, hooking my blouse, pulling it along, until it was up over my head, and tossed alongside his shirt.

I moaned as his lips grazed the edge of my bra, and his and his hands slid around to my backside, squeezing under my thighs. His bit the edge of my bra, pulling the fabric out of the way, and enveloped the freed nipple with his lips, making me gasp lightly.

"Carlisle," I exhaled, running my finger through his blonde locks, messing them slightly, and tugging, "Oh god,"

His hands made quick work of undoing the clasp and throwing my bra over the back of the couch. Suddenly my back was flat against the cushions and he was hovering over me, peppering my bare skin with long kisses as he slid himself down my body, towards my waistband. When he hooked the edge of my leggings with his teeth I gasped, my back arching as his nose grazed just above my core. I bit back a moan as he slid my leggings off, placing kisses along them as the skin was exposed. When he threw them aside, I pulled him back down to me, and flipping him into the spot where I was.

He reached for me, touching my arms as I straddled both his thighs, taking my sweet time to undo his belt. He groaned every time my hand grazed him through his trousers. When I undid the button and zipper, he got restless and pushed his pants and boxers off himself. As he shuffled, lifting his body to pull off the clothing, I fell forward, my hands resting on his chest as I snaked up his body, kissing all the way up to his neck, making him moan.

I felt the blanket he had brought in being thrown over my back, covering both our lower halves. Carlisle relaxed back into the couch, and slide his hands around me, stroking my back softly as I suckled the scar on his neck.

"Esme," he moaned again, as I felt him shift, his erect member pressing against my bare core. His hands slid up, gently pushing my lips away from his neck and exposing my own scar, returning the action. I moaned, melting against him as his teeth gently pressed the mark, sending tingles all the way down my spine and to my core, making me grind into him. My inner thighs were already wet with venom, and the need to have him in me was building.

And being the dominate that I was, I would have him.


	10. Esme's Schoolhouse

**Lemons continue from last chapter…**

**April 17****th****, 2023**

**Esme's POV**

Tangled in sheets and blankets had always been my favourite place to be with my husband. And right now, being naked and curled up under the blanket on this couch, softly inhaling his scent, I was at peace. We made love hours into the night, and just before the sun was rising did we end our fun.

We curled up with the blanket and closed our eyes, relaxing in the quiet, stillness of the house. The comfort of one of Carlisle hands resting on my back, and my cheek pressed to his smooth chest, had lulled me into a near sleep state.

"You look so beautiful when you relax like that," Carlisle's voice made me smile and open my eyes, looking up at him. He was smiling down at me and I was blessed with him sealing our lips together.

"I never thought we'd do this on this couch again," I smiled fondly when he moved his lips to my forehead. He chuckled lightly,

"Better than the first time?" he asked, shifting slightly, and I felt his bare thigh that my body was nestled against, briefly graze the most sensitive spot between my legs. I bit my lip and buried my nose to his skin again.

"You ask such a question like they are comparable," I replied, pressing a wet kiss to his peck. He smiled goofily.

"I would say this one was better," he chuckled lightly, "No Edward to walk in, no work to go too," he added, "And I can do things to you now that were sinful then,"

I giggled, "Oh? Such as?" I inquired, and a smirk spread across his face. In half a second he was above me and I was in the spot he had been in. He hovered above me, his smirk growing, as a single hand snaked down my side, over my hips, and between my legs, pushing them apart gently.

"Like this," Carlisle said deviously. I exhaled, closing my eyes as two fingers slipped inside me. I bit back a moan as his fingers curled and slowly motioned inside me, making me squirm. He leaned down, running his tongue along my chest, all the way up to my lips, and bit my bottom lip in his teeth, then nipped down my throat. He wandered to the side and sunk his teeth into my scar, making me yelp; both in pain and pleasure.

"Carlisle," I moaned, and my mouth fell open as he kissed all the way down my body, and his mouth replaced his fingers. Feeble whimpers escape from between my lips as he tortured me, avoiding the one place I wanted him to touch me. "Car-…Carlisle," I gasped, my voice elevating in pitch. I was trying to keep my hand clutching the couch, or my hair, and attempting to control the bucking my hips wanted to do so badly.

I moaned loudly as he added his fingers back into the mix and when his tongue touched that spot, it quickly put me over the edge.

"Oh god!"

I threw my head back, my eyes rolling into my head, as the intense wave of pleasure coursed through my body, and my hands weaved tightly into his hair, not wanting him to stop. I could feel his satisfied smiled against me as I orgasmed, and he lifted his head when my writhing had ceased.

I looked down at him between my legs, breathless from his actions. Our eyes met for a moment before he crawled back up and sealed our lips together, kissing me hard, and his tongue tangled with mine. I could taste myself on his lip. I returned his kiss the same.

When our lips broke apart, he smiled softly, rubbing our noses together, making me giggle lightheartedly.

"I love you," he said, his voice low and soft. I smiled, reaching up to give him a gentle peck on the lips.

"Love you," I whispered softly. He brushed a messy lock from my face with a finger, smiling sweetly at me.

"As much as I want to, we can't stay forever," he sighed, crawling off me and nestling beside me. I snuggled up to his bare chest, enjoying a few more moments of peace.

"I know," I said quietly, "Just a few more minutes. I love being with you like this,"

**OoO**

Later that morning as we were driving towards the city, I was staring out the window at the passing trees, fiddling with the necklace in my fingers. My mind had been going places since we left the house.

Was the schoolhouse still there? How much had the area changed? I had never been back to the schoolhouse I taught at when I had first come to Ashland. It wasn't far from the cemetery were my baby was buried, but the previous time I had been there to see him with Carlisle, about a decade after I was changed, that had been our sole purpose. It hadn't been long since between my "death", and people might have recognized me.

As we drove along the number two that followed the shoreline of the town, I could see the boats sitting covered in the marina; for it was far to cold to have them out on the water yet. I was quiet as Carlisle drove us along the edge of town, taking note of everything that hadn't been there the last time. Every gas station, McDonalds, pizza place, dollar store, or auto parts place that we passed was a new thing for me in this town.

On the west end of town, just after the residential streets ended, Carlisle turned the car south down Sanborn Ave. We passed small, more rural homes that had bigger yards, small communities. It was only 2 miles down the road until we turned west again onto a road that had once been nameless in my time, but was now referred to as City Heights Rd.

I could see the old building at the end of the half mile road that was paved. It was obviously not upkept and looked untouched. I smiled. _Well it is in the middle of the bush, and thankfully Ashland was never a violent city._

As Carlisle pulled up beside the old school. It wasn't big by any means, but large enough for the number of kids in the area at the time.

"I'm surprised there's no windows missing," I said as Carlisle shut off the car. He looked out the windshield, pursing his lips.

"It looked like it was an older population living out in this area… Though with the golf course being so close I'm surprised some teenagers haven't found their way out here," my husband added, "Otherwise, it looks like you were just here," he smiled, glancing at me before we both climbed out.

The outside was much like the farmhouse, traces of paint that were once there and still tried to cling to the hundred-some year-old wood. The windows were riddled with dirt to the point that they were fogged out completely.

The schools name that was once painted on the front above the doors, was almost gone. Only the odd letter here and there of what once spelled 'Lakeview School District No.3' were visible.

Carlisle took the first steps toward the building, while I was taking in the nostalgia of the place. He climbed the steps and wiggled the doorknob. It was locked. He looked over at me, furrowing his brow.

"I don't want to wreck the door and take it off the hinges," he said, a bit stumped. I chuckled lightly, and shook me head, walking up the steps beside him. I gave him a mischievous smile, turning to the little plaque that was nailed to the wood.

"The baby brain was real," I chuckled to myself, as I wiggled my fingers carefully behind the plaque, "I only locked myself out once when I went to town, and realized I needed a solution for when my mind was elsewhere," I explained to him as I pulled and the plaque popped off the wall. I turned it over, and smiled, seeing the key, although covered in rust, was still there. I gave my husband a knowing look and he laughed, kissing my forehead.

"That's my Esme. Always three steps ahead of herself," he said sweetly, and I took the key, slipping it into the lock. It popped loudly when I turned the key and the door released it hold. I froze for a moment, and Carlisle noticed my hesitance. "It's ok," he said softly, and I nodded, taking a deep breath as I stepped into a wave of déjà vu.

My classroom looked exactly like I had left it for the summer. Straightened, cleaned and organized (minus the dust that had collected over the years), and waiting for the students to find a seat in the September that never came.

I stood in the doorway by the foyer. I could picture the many coats and bags that would be hanging off the pegs that protruded in a line from the wall. I slowly made my way into the room. Twenty-five desks lined perfectly, layered thickly in dust like the rest of the room. I sighed sadly at the sight of mouse dropping on the floor. Exactly opposite to me, on the other side of the room sat the teacher's desk, perfectly in front of the chalk board.

The books were all on the shelf that sat to the left of the teacher's desk, along with the very faded American flag. And to the right was the door to the teacher's quarters, with a cabinet that contained a dirty globe, and had a clock hanging about it, frozen at the time it needed to be rewound. The wood stove was directly to my left at the back of the room. And an old piano to the right.

Little sunlight was coming in through the windows, giving the room a strange feeling.

"It's…exactly how I remember it," I said softly, in awe, turning to look back at my husband who was still standing in the foyer. He gave me a soft smile in return as I motioned for him to come in.

I took it all in, feeling something sparking inside me. That happiness, that warm feeling I had felt every time I walked in this room. I could almost close my eyes and hear the echoes of children chattering loudly after coming in from recess.

"God…it feels like home," I sighed after I took in a long breath, and letting my head fall back, smiling up at the ceiling.

Teaching. Something I hadn't thought about in decades. My life after this little school had been consumed with grief, for years; just the thought of children made me sad. My interests diverted to art, to keep myself distracted from the thoughts, and design, and rebuilding every home Carlisle had bought along the way. But being here now, it was like finding and old friend within these walls.

I giggled happily. God, I didn't realize how much I had missed this place.

I turned to Carlisle, who was still a few feet behind me as I stood in the middle of the room. He was looking around, taking in the room in such a different way than I was. His was with intrigue and interest. Mine was with euphoria and joy.

"Twenty-five?" he asked, pointing at the desks, and I nodded with a genuine smile.

"Six to fifteen years old," I said ,"It was a lot to handle sometime. But they were good kids," I told him, and he smiled too.

"I guess… after you disappeared… they shut this place down," Carlisle said, almost cautiously.

I sighed, "Likely," I told him, "I was due early in June… I pushed them through the lesson plan, so they would get out early for the summer…" I explained as I walked towards the front of the room, "Just barely made it," I said with a weak smile.

"You, or the kids?" he asked as I ran my fingers over the scratched wood of my old desk.

"Both…" I said fondly, "My oldest, John, he turned in his finals essay the day before I went into labor," I told him, "I think I just finished grading it an hour before my water broke,"

Carlisle chuckled lightly to himself, but his intrigue was pulled to a photo on the wall. I followed his gaze as he walked over and gently took it off the wall, wiping the dust off the glass. He brought it over to me, standing behind my desk.

It was the photo we had taken of the kids in April outside the school. The black and white image was old, partially faded, and fuzzy. But I could still make out every face that had once graced the room. I smiled fondly, touching the photo. Twenty -five students were lined up oldest in the back, youngest in the front.

"Who's that?" Carlisle asked, pointing to the little girl, who looked about six years old. She was tightly clutching the skirt of her heavily pregnant teacher. I smiled.

"Annabelle," I said, remembering the little girl.

"Shy little thing," Carlisle laughed lightly. I sighed softly.

"She's the granddaughter of the woman who was the headmistress at the time. Ida Jackson. She owned the school and taught temporarily before I came here. Sad story, that poor child. Mother died giving birth to her, and her father was killed in the war. Her grandmother was left to take care of her… I guess I became a second mother to her," I told my husband, who gave me a sad smile, and caressed my hair gently.

"You seem to have the same effect on every parentless child that crosses your path," he said, and I smiled softly in return.

"I'm gonna take this," I told him, tapping the frame lightly, and he nodded, tucking it safely under his arm. I wandered off again, my curiosity being pulled toward the bookshelf of dusty books.

One book spine on the line of faded colors called to me. it was familiar. I pulled it out carefully and turned to the cover, a smile spreading across my face.

It was the first book my students had chosen to read the year I was there. _The Wonderful Wizard of Oz._

It had been one of the many books from my childhood that I had taken from home upon marrying, and it came with me as I ran and settled here. I smiled, flipping to the inside cover, finding _Esme A. Platt _scribbled in the top left corner. The only part of my identity that was present here with me at the time.

I handed it to Carlisle as well, and he help it as well.

"You never did tell me what name you went by here," he pondered out loud, and I turned, looking at him, smiling softly.

"My middle name, Anne," I told him, "Anne Barstow, my grandmothers maiden name," I added.

"That's nice," he said sweetly. My eyes fell to the door that led to the teacher's quarters. I was hesitant to go in; the fear of memories hitting me too suddenly was looming in my mind. Carlisle noticed my hesitation.

"I'm right here if you need me," he said, his hands resting on my shoulders. I took a deep breath, and walked towards the door, pausing as my hand grasped the handle, and turned it slowly.

The door creaked louder than I remembered as it opened into the small living space. A small kitchen area and sitting room combined, a single bedroom, and a bathroom. It was in a similar condition to the school room. Dusty, dim lit, stagnant air. I froze, still holding the door handle tightly. I felt a hand gently slip into my free hand and I looked over at my husband, as he offered a reassuring smile. I took a deep breath.

"Well it's seen better days," I said, trying to break the tension hanging around me. I looked over at the switch on the wall and smiled lightly. "Well I doubt the power works, but it was here in the day," I told Carlisle. He furrowed his brow.

"Only this part had power?" he asked, and I nodded.

"The school was built in 1884, but the teacher's quarters were added on in 1916. We were lucky to even get power and water out here. Most of the homes out in this area still didn't have it," I explained.

Carlisle nodded in understanding and followed me, our hands staying linked, as we wandered the tiny home. It was mostly empty. No decorations, no tucked away items. Just the basics; a couch and coffee table, a kitchen table and two chairs, the bathroom, and the bedroom with its bed, dresser, and mirror. Edward had taken most of my belonging from here shortly after my change and brought them back to the house for me.

For the first time since getting out of the car my hand slipped into my pocket, wrapping around the chain that was tucked inside.

I gently lifted Carlisle's hand in mine and began slowly wrapping the chain around our hands. His lips brushed my forehead as I held up the pendant. I took a deep breath to steady myself, and began turning the pendant, time flying backwards.

Only this time, not much changed as we moved through time. Years passed, but nothing felt like it was happening. The school truly had not been touched since the last time I was here.

When I saw a flash of movement, I slowed down almost completely. It was _Edward_ putting back all the things he had collected. I hid my head against my husband as I went a little further. And when I stopped, children's laughter filled the air from the other room. I looked up, taking in the room around me, that was now lit, and cozier.

_June 3__rd__, 1921_

"I think class is in session," Carlisle said, making me grin softly, and we turned, heading back out into the main school room.

Indeed, class was in session. The children were sitting in small groups, each gathered around pieces of paper. I smiled, seeing my students.

_Esme, _or_ Ms. Barstow _in this case, was her desk, scribbling on a paper herself. I noticed the calendar on the wall dictated it was the last day before I let my students out.

Carlisle and I walked further into the room, stopping beside the teacher's desk. _Esme _was looking down at the multitude of papers in front of her. Finals essays.

_Annabelle _slipped out of her group and walked up to her teacher's desk, going around to stand beside her. I smiled at the girl as she gently tapped her teacher's arm.

"_Ms. Barstow, is it home time yet?" _she asked in a very shy and angelic voice. _Esme _looked up from her paper and looked at the little girl, and then at the clock, nodded in agreement.

"_Well yes, it is Miss Annabelle, good catch my sharp girl… Goodness, the time nearly slipped past me," Esme _said to her and touched her cheek softly. _Ms. Barstow _stood up, her stomach coming out from hiding beneath her desk and previously hunched form.

I felt my husband's body tense when he saw the old me. Tired but happy, and heavily pregnant. I felt him slip his arms around me, coming to rest against my stomach, almost subconsciously, like he always did.

"_Ok guys, time's up!" Ms. Barstow _said loud enough to get the attention of the kids_, "Please hand in your essays if they're finished. If you haven't finished, you have until Monday to turn them into the homework box in the foyer," _she said as the children began to scramble, and she sat back down. Some kids gathered their things, some came up to her desk and handed in their papers, wishing her a good summer before laughing happily as they ran out the door with friends in tow. One of the older students was moving a bit slower, and she called out his name, _"John," _and he looked up at her, almost melting into a sheepish puddle and blushing nervous. She made a come here motion and the boy nervously slung his bag over his shoulder before approaching his teacher. I smiled at the poor kid.

"I think he had a bit of a crush on me," I told my husband, who laughed lightly.

"_Yes , Ms. Barstow?" _the boy asked quietly. His gazed shifted from her to _Annabelle, _who had found the chalk and was scribbling on the chalkboard behind her teachers back.

"_John, I really want that paper on my desk Monday…" _she began, and the boy nodded frantically.

"_Of course," _he said, and _Ms. Barstow _sighed.

"_If it's not…" _

The pause made the boys heart race, fear of getting in trouble was evident on his face.

"…_then you have until this baby comes…" _she said, pointing at her stomach, and the boy almost relaxed, _"After that, I won't be marking anything. Understood?" _she asked. _John _nodded again.

"_Yes! Understood ma'am," _he said and bit his lip until she nodded as well.

"_Good boy. Now hurry along. Your mother is going to be getting worried if your siblings arrive home without you," _she told him and he smiled softly, turning and going, but paused at the door and glanced back.

"_Thank you, Ms. Barstow!" _and dashed down the steps. _Esme _shook her head with a smile.

"_You're welcome," _she mumbled to herself with a fond smile, then paused and raised an eyebrow, _"Miss Annabelle, are you drawing on my chalkboard again?" _she asked, her back still to the girl. _Annabelle _looked sheepish as her teacher turned and pursed her lips.

"_Sorry Ms. Barstow," _she said softly. _Esme _smiled as the girl as she set down the chalk.

"_Come on, let's get you to grandmas. She probably has a snack ready for you,"_

**OoO**

_June 6__th__, 1921_

_Esme _had taken _Annabelle _home and I skipped forward though the weekend. She had spent it divided between cleaning her classroom, grading papers, and resting as she had begun to get sore.

I had skipped ahead to Monday morning, right after _John _had rushed in with his essay in hand.

Carlisle and I wandered back into the adjacent room, where _Esme _was grading the last of her students' papers. Every so often she would wince, close her eyes, and take a few deep breaths, before returning to her grading. She had just finished and went to get up and headed towards the bathroom when she gasped loudly, and hunched over, grabbing both her stomach and the bathroom doorframe.

My husband moved slightly when she whispered a _"Damn," _to herself, and fluid was trickling down her legs. I took my arm and slipped it around his side, trying to keep him relaxed, knowing that it was just a ghost and he couldn't help; his medical instincts involuntarily kicking in.

_Esme _slipped into the bathroom and emerged several minutes later, wrapped in a towel, and her hair pulled back in a weakly made bun. She slowly walked to the phone, calling up Ida down the road, and telling her to come soon. Then she made her way into the bedroom, threw on a loose night gown, and slipping into bed.

"_Sure know how to cut it to the last minute, don't you John?" _she chuckled lightly to herself, and then inhaled sharply as another contraction hit.


	11. Ashland, 1921

**I apologized for the excessive amount of jumping back and forth between 1921 and April 17****th****, 2023 that is bound to happen over the next few chapters.**

_June 6__th__, 1921_

**Esme's POV**

_Ida _had quickly rushed over to the schoolhouse, with a plethora of towels and a midwife kit in tow, and found _Esme _trying to relax, sat up in bed as her contractions tore through her body slowly, making her whimper in pain occasionally.

"_I called for the doctor to come later, and have Charlotte and Mary on their way over as well, dear," Ida _comforted _Esme, "You try to relax. Deep breaths. I'm going to go warm some water," _she said, leaving _Esme _in peace for a moment. I stepped further into the room, watching my former self as she tried to relax during each contraction and let her body do what it had to.

"Charlotte and Mary?" Carlisle asked softly. I didn't take my eyes off the labouring woman.

"Two of my student's mothers. One is a nurse. Good friends," I explained quietly. He nodded and both of us turned to _Esme, _who shifted from sitting up with her legs out, to cross leg and leaning back on her hands, trying to ease the discomfort. Her head had fallen back, and she had closed her eyes, taking slow, deep breaths.

_Ida _made her way back into the tiny bedroom, sitting down by _Esme, _who's face was slowly turning from one of discomfort to one of moderate pain.

"_Good heavens dearie, I've only been here a half hour and you've made a lot of progress. At this rate I bet you have that little one suckling by dinner time," _she told _Esme, _who smiled the best she could through the pain of another contraction.

"Why at home?" my husband asked, his voice low and soft, but I understood his reason for asking. Hospital births were becoming the normal thing back then. Home births were becoming few and far between. I looked back at him for a moment, before turning back to the labouring _me._

"The twilight sleep that was used," I told him, and then let out a heavy sigh, "Everyone was so worried about the pain that they didn't care what was done... But I did care… I didn't want my child born into the world surrounded by doctors and then taken off by these strangers…" I explained to him, "I didn't want people hushing me, restraining me, giving me medicine because of 'hysteria'," I said, rolling my eyes. To think that a woman becomes a complete cow the second she goes into labor disgusted me back then, and still did to this day even to think that it was a thing once. Labouring mothers weren't 'hysterical'; they were in pain, worried about their baby, and overwhelmed by other people in the room.

"I can understand that," Carlisle said caringly, touching my hair softly.

"I wanted something different… something special. I wanted to remember my baby's first cry, not be off in dreamland… I wanted him in my arms the moment he left my body. To feel his warmth, and that smell. I wanted him to open his eyes and see only me," I said, feeling an emotional lump forming in my throat. Carlisle held me a little tighter and pressed his lips to the top of my head.

"And I'm sure he got just that," he assured me, and I tried to smile even slightly. Carlisle and I stepped out of the room and sat down on the couch, next to little _Annabelle _who has come over with her grandmother. She was doodling on some paper at the coffee table.

"How long were you in labour?" Carlisle asked, as I settled into my spot and snuggled up to him.

"Only 4 hours," I told him, "It was oddly quick, especially for a first," I added. Carlisle placed a soft kiss against my hair, touching the waves absent mindedly.

I heard footsteps approaching outside, and coming through the schoolhouse, before a soft knock alerted _Ida _to the arrival of her helpers.

"_How is she doing?" Mary _asked, as _Ida _let the two women in. _Ida _sighed softly.

"_She's a strong one. Hasn't said a word about pain," _she told them. _Mary _and _Charlotte _followed _Ida _into the bedroom, leaving the door open. From where we were on the couch, we could see the head of the bed, and _Ida's _spot, where she had been comforting _Esme _through each contraction. _Esme _was propped up with pillows and was visibly tired from the pain.

The women exchanged pleasantries with _Esme, _talking about how they were so thankful for _Esme's _teaching, and that she had turned their boys' grades right around. _Esme _smiled at the compliments of her skill and _Charlotte _changed the subject.

"_So have you decided on a name yet?" _she asked, and all the women looked at her, hopeful. She smiled softly but shook her head.

"_It'll come the moment I lay eyes on him," _she said. Then _Mary _chimed in.

"_You think it's a boy?" _she asked, and _Esme _nodded confidently, touching her stomach softly.

"_I still think it's a girl. You've put so much weight on your hips since you first came here," Ida _said, tapping _Esme's _leg.

**OoO**

We sat there on the couch for the full four hours as _Esme's _labour progressed. I had pressed myself closer not my husband's side, curling into a ball with my feet up on the couch, when the cries of pain from pushing filled the air behind the half-closed door.

_Charlotte _had taken little _Annabelle _home to make her dinner and keep her little ears away from the sound. _Ida _was at the receiving end of the whole situation, while _Mary _coached _Esme _through each push.

My husband held me, tensely, likely trying his hardest to ignore every urge that told him to go into the room and help. My hold on him was most likely the only thing keeping him on the couch with me.

"_Come on darling, one last time," Ida _said, and there was silence for a moment, followed by the only agonizing cry of pain and defeat that had graced the air all afternoon. _Mary _wiped _Esme's_ face with a cloth when she collapsed back against her, eyes closed. There was a long pause of silence.

Then the sharp, piercing cry of the baby.

Carlisle held me tightly as the baby cried in the other room. I wanted so badly to cry myself. The healthy cry of my baby had been one that echoed only in my memories. I couldn't hold it in, and I let the pain in my chest find its way up into my throat and out, and I started to cry. A moment I once thought I would never see again, except in my memory, was happening in front of me. Carlisle embraced me completely as I cried. I could hear his murmurs, loving, sweet things as he attempted to calm me. The emotion of being here again and seeing my son being born was almost as emotional as it had been when I had him myself.

I sat there and cried until long after the baby had settled, the room had been cleaned, and _Mary _had left for the evening, leaving _Esme _with _Ida._

_Ida _was now in the kitchen, making a meal for _Esme, _and Carlisle held my hand as I shakily stood from my spot on the couch and slowly walked into the bedroom.

_Esme _was relaxed in bed, partially propped up on pillows with the baby on her bare chest. Both were peaceful; the baby asleep, and _Esme _resting her eyes.

I was hesitant to move closer but felt my husbands hand touch my back softly.

"It's ok," her whispered quietly with encouragement. I swallowed hard and stood closer to the bed, resting an arm on the headboard. The sight of the child was making me shake slightly. Carlisle was still right there with me, never taking his hand off the small of my back. I choked back a sob, a happy one, almost out of instinct to not wake the child. My heart was aching, but so full of joy to see him again.

"Oh my god," I choked out, barely audible, "I..I almost forgot…how tiny he was," I said, looking back at my husband, who wrapped his arms around me, resting his chin on my shoulder. He stroked the back of my hand that was twined together with his.

"He's just a beautiful as your painting," he said softly in my ear. I bit my bottom lip trying to hold myself together.

I reached my hand out and ghosted my index finger carefully on the child's cheek. The lack of physical touch saddened me.

"I wish I could just touch him," I sighed, leaning back against Carlisle.

"I know love…" he said, sadness in his own voice, "I wish you could too,"

We stood there together for several long minutes, just watching the peaceful babe on his mother's chest. Moments later, he stirred and whimpered, getting his mothers attention. _Esme _opened her eyes and rubbed the infants back softly, trying to calm him again.

"_It's ok love," _she hushed the child_._ It only took a few seconds and then he settled, falling back asleep.

"Those first few hours... were heaven," I said sadly, knowing what was coming after this. It was just after supper hour, and before the summer sky was would fall dark, the wheezing would start. I turned in my husband's arms, hiding my face in his chest. His arms held me tightly, his free hand cradling my head.

"I know it hurts love," he whispered to me sadly.

**OoO**

**Carlisle's POV **(yes a change of view for once)

We stayed in that room the entire two days. Time passed in an agonizing way.

It was _June 8__th _now.

I had heard the first signs of the fever before the doctor even arrived that evening. Esme had stayed in my arms as I held her tightly, trying to keep myself together. It was so much harder to see this than it was to hear from her. She was already falling to pieces, and if I lost my composure, I wasn't sure if either of us would be ok.

To watch the elderly man deliver the news to the new mother that her baby wouldn't survive, and watch every ounce of light drain from her eyes; it was more heartbreaking than anything I had seen in my own career. The kind old man was caring though and gave _Esme _as much comfort and advice as he could in his short time there. To keep the child as comfortable and calm for as long as possible. And enjoy every second. She could only nod tearfully as the man exited somberly and _Ida _came in, offering comfort and condolences to the weeping woman that cradled the sick little child in her arms.

She asked _Ida _politely to leave her be for a while and the older woman nodded, leaving the room.

_Esme _was sitting on the edge of the bed, cradling her child in a loose blanket. She hadn't slept in two days, trying desperately to get the ailing baby to drink, and cool off, as he had gotten a fever that had only increased as the lung fever to over his body, making the wheezing heavier, and his little coughs harder.

His time was running short. Tear were running down her cheeks, but no sobs escaped her lips. She had been whispering loving things to her son, her voice keeping him calm. He let out a feeble cry of discomfort, breathing heavily. _Esme _hushed him softly, and then she did something I had never heard my wife do.

She started singing a lullaby.

"_Lay down your head and I'll sing you a lullaby  
Back to the years of loo-li lai-lay  
And I'll sing you to sleep and I'll sing you tomorrow  
Bless you with love for the road that you go"_

Esme began softly singing along with the ghost of herself, her voice just as beautiful, with the same sadness in her tone.

"_May you sail far to the far fields of fortune  
With diamonds and pearls at your head and your feet  
And may you need never to banish misfortune  
May you find kindness in all that you meet"_

"_May there always be angels to watch over you  
To guide you each step of the way  
To guard you and keep you safe from all harm  
Loo-li, loo-li, lai-lay"_

I held my wife in my arms, pressing my cheek to the top of her head, my eyes unable to move from the enchanting yet sad sight before me.

"_May you bring love and may you bring happiness  
Be loved in return to the end of your days"  
"Now fall off to sleep, I'm not meaning to keep you  
I'll just sit for a while and sing loo-li, lai-lay"_

"_It's ok," Esme _said softly to her child, her finger brushing gently over her son's cheek as his breath slowly down to almost nothing. She could barely choke out the last verse, tears streaming down her cheeks, the pain in her voice was breaking my own heart.

"_May there always be angels to watch over you  
To guide you each step of the way  
To guard you and keep you safe from all harm  
Loo-li, loo-li, lai-lay, loo-li, loo-li, lai-lay"_

Before she finished, the child was gone. His heavy breaths had ceased, his chest no longer rose. She cried, her head falling to kiss the tiny baby's forehead, and her tears falling on the child's cheek.

She sat there and cried until _Ida _had let herself back into the room, finding the poor girl clutching her baby to her chest, agony in her eyes, sadness, grief. The old woman sat with her, holding her in an embrace of comfort, of consolation.

I turned my attention to my wife when she let a soft sob escape her own lips. I held her tighter than I already was.

"It's ok love," I whispered close to her ear. I didn't know what else I could say. I couldn't say it wasn't real, because it was; it had happened. "He's at peace with God," I said, offering her even the slightest comfort. She bit her lip in pain and nodded.

"Yeah… you're right," she said quietly, and turned in my arms. Her sad eyes met mine, "Let's go back,".

I nodded as she lifted our hands and held the pendant between us. She took on last glance at the scene around us before looking down and turning us back to our own time…

**OoO**

_April 17__th__, 2023_

We were back, standing in the sad, abandoned bedroom in the present.

The first thing Esme did was unwrap her hand from the chain, leaving it to dangle half wrapped around my own. She threw both arms around my neck, pulling me down to her level, and buried her face in the crook of my neck. I embraced her fully as her fingers clutched my hair.

"You're ok," I whispered to her. Her body was shaking slightly.

"Why did I come here?" she sobbed sadly into my shoulder. I could tell how deeply the pain of watching one of the worst moments of her life had affected her.

"We can go home, sweetheart," I told her softly, knowing it was likely that she was done with this trip. She was still for a moment, but then shook her head softly, and lifting it from my shoulder. She wiped her eyes of phantom tears; a human habit she had never abandoned.

"I wanna go see my baby," she whispered. My arms were still around her loosely as I leaned in and pressed my lips to her forehead, keeping them there for a moment.

"Ok," I whispered softly, taking my hand in hers as we left the old building.

I tucked the little necklace safely in my own pocket as I took Esme to the car and got her settled before going back to lock the school and placing the key and plaque back in their places

When I climbed into the driver's seat, Esme was relaxed in her seat, eyes closed, just taking a moment to herself. Buckled myself in, started the car, and turned us around, heading back down the road. I reached over and gently took one of Esme's hands in mine. She opened her eyes and looked over at me, giving me a sad smile, but stayed silent.

I took us south bound further down Sanborn Ave, in the direction of Mount Hope and Saint Agnes cemetery. The highway that ran through the middle of the two cemeteries had a turn off in both directions that let you drive in between the rectangular blocks of graves. Esme sat up slightly as we drove slowly through the area, and I turned the car into St. Agnes and drove towards the back, where the older plots were.

I pulled up beside a row of older headstones that were made of cement and covered in dirt or moss. The years had taken their toll on them. I parked and shut the car off, unbuckling and climbing out. Esme followed slowly, climbing out and rounding the car to take my hand in hers. We somberly crossed the grass across the space between the headstones and end of the graves.

I remembered where the grave was from the first time Esme had brought me here, just around a decade after her change. It had also been the last time we were here. We hadn't lived on this side of the U.S. since Emmett joined the family when we were living in Tennessee in the 30's.

The little grave was about halfway down the row. We came to a stop at the foot of it. The cement cross was weathered, the etching was filled with dirt, and moss was crawling up where the base met the ground. It was leaning slightly to the side. It was a sad sight, but it fit in with all the other headstones around it.

Esme knelt down in the grass at the foot of the grave, her fingers running through the new spring grass that was coming up. She was quiet for a moment, before reaching out and touching the headstone.

"Hi baby," she said softly, sweetly, but sadness in her voice. I crouched down and rested a hand on her back gently. She brushed the dirt off the words.

_Joseph Henry_

_06/06/1921 – 06/08/1921_

That was all it said. Esme had told me years ago that she had not put a last name, not feeling right to put her ex-husbands last name, or her fake last name on the stone, and unable to reveal her real last name to these people who had no idea who she really was.

"I'm sorry it's been so long," she told him, "Things have been…crazy,".

I smiled softly, rubbing slowly circles on her back. She sighed heavily and leaned back on one of my knees.

"I wish he wasn't here of all places. I really don't care for coming to Ashland," she said to me, "I wish I could just have him with me all the time,".

I looked down at the grave again, a thought coming to my mind.

"Well… I was going to ask if you'd like to get a new headstone made," I began and she looked up at me curiously, "But here's a thought…." I paused for a moment, "If you'd like to…we could get the paperwork to…exhume what's left…and cremate it," I suggested. She looked back down at the grave. "We could put him in an urn, or a necklace for you,".

Esme was quiet. I was unsure if she was contemplating the ideas or ignoring me. After a few minutes she looked back up at me.

"I'd like that," she said softly as I tucked a strand of hair away from her face, "To take him with us. He's been here so long by himself," she added. I nodded.

"Ok…we can look into it when we get home," I assured her with a light kiss to her hair.


	12. The Death of Me

**Esme's POV**

We sat in the cemetery for only a short while. The sun was threatening to come out from behind the clouds and dance off our skin. So Carlisle and I climbed back into the car, heading north, back into Ashland.

"Where are we going?" I asked him quietly. I hadn't said much since we left the cemetery. He glanced over at me.

"It's up to you love," he said, reaching over and taking my hand in his. I stroked the back of his hand with my other one. I thought for a few minutes.

"Where was the old hospital?" I asked him.

"It was on Saint Claire Street," he replied, "Right across from a church. It's just an empty lot on the block now. It was shut down after the current medical center was built on the south end," he added, "Is that our next stop?"

I nodded softly, "I…I don't want to go back to the cliff. At least not back in time," I told him, and he gave me an understanding nod, "Maybe on the way home,".

We were silent the rest of the short drive through town. Carlisle navigated the town with perfect memory. My feeble human memories couldn't recognize much, as I had only seen the town less than a handful of times. Ida had picked me up from the train station and would often fetch my groceries at the same time she went for her own, despite my protests. She was too kind, that old woman.

The train station where I had come into town was now a historical museum, as the line had been shut down. The city hall had been renovated several times in the last century that it stood, and the brewery had been expanded and updated. Most other buildings were new, completely renovated, or demolished and I could barely comprehend this was the same town I had built a life for myself in.

When Carlisle pulled the car up along the curb, beside and empty lot, he parked the vehicle and looked over at me.

"This is where it used to be," he said, reaching into his pocket, and pulling out the time turner by the pendant, the chain following in a trail. I sat looking at the empty lot with an old construction fence surrounding it. I took a deep breath, knowing that I would see what my husband what up to before my body was brought in, but also, I would get to see for the first time how badly the fall had broken me. I would see the horrific state my husband had seen me in. After a moment I looked over at him.

"Ready?" I asked him, and he nodded, hesitantly. We both climbed out of the car and stood near the hood. Carlisle took his hand in mine, and much like I had done most of the trip, wrapped the chain around our hands. This time it was him who turned back time to the point he wanted.

_June 12__th__, 1921_

Sunday; the day of my son's funeral, and the day I had jumped off the cliff…

When time stopped moving, the hospital was there. The empty lot had been filled with an outdated building, and people wandering in and out the front door. Carlisle smiled lightly as the sight of his old workplace. I was taking in the sight I had never seen before.

The sun was sinking towards the horizon as the evening hours approached.

"What time is it?" I asked my husband, who let go of the pendant and let it hang by out twined hands.

"Around four o'clock," he said. I swallowed hard, hesitant on the next question.

"What… what time… did you find me?" I asked nervously. He took a deep breath to stead himself.

"My shift was about to end when I was told I had to sign off on a post-mortem. I hadn't looked at the clock, but I could guess it was almost five. Maybe quarter too?" he said, and I nodded, "I think I'm in my office right now," he added, as we slowly walked along the path towards the front door.

Much like every other time, no one payed noticed to us as we entered the waiting room and Carlisle led me down a hallway, and through a door into a stairwell, up to the second floor.

"My office was just down this way," he said, and we passed doctors and nurses; some on their way in for a shift, some on their way out to go home. I followed alongside my husband until he stopped at a closed door. I peered through the window on the door, and saw a young man sitting at a desk, scribbling across some papers. He looked very calm, relaxed, content in his work, but focused.

"You look…sad," I said, looking up at my husband beside me. He gave me a sad look as well.

"No, not as much as I had been without Edward in my life," he said softly.

A nurse rounded the corner at the end of the hallway, with a clip board in her hands, and was headed our direction. She brushed passed us and timidly knocked on the office door. _Dr. Cullen_ looked up from his paperwork and smiled kindly, motioning for the nurse to enter. She left the door open as she approached the desk.

"_Abigail, what can I do for you?"_ the doctor asked, smiling.

"_Dr. Cullen… before you go, we need you to sign off on a post-mortem that just came in," _the nurse told him, passing a clipboard to the young and handsome doctor. _"Also, the men who brought in the body are here as well if you want to speak with them,"._

The doctor took the paperwork and scanned over it quickly before nodding.

"_I will do that. Thank you, Abigail. I hope the evening shift isn't too harsh on you," _he said with a smile, standing up. The young nurse smiled nervously, thanking the doctor, and excused herself from the room. _Dr. Cullen _cleaned up his own papers and left his office with the clipboard.

We watched as he brushed passed us and toward the stairwell, glancing over the chart again. Carlisle and I followed him back into the stairwell and down through the main floor. _Dr. Cullen _made casual pleasantries with fellow co-workers along his path towards the stairwell labelled basement. As we followed him, my ears picked up the conversation of two men who were outside the door of the morgue. _Dr. Cullen _interrupted their conversing as he approached them.

"_Evening gentlemen," _he greeted, and each man shook his hand. Their cold fingers from fishing made the doctors cold hands a thing they didn't notice.

"_Evenin' doc," _the first man said.

"_You two gentlemen brought the body in?" Dr. Cullen _asked, glancing at the chart he held.

"_Yes sir doc. Found her in the water out by the cliffs," _the second man said. I could vaguely remember the voices of the two men. When everything was black, and all there was, was pain.

"_We were just sailing 'long the cliff line, casting a few lines before dark, when we heard the splash 'round the corner. Went to see what made it and it was a woman," _the first one began, but was cut off.

"_She was still warm when we pulled her outta the water. She fell I reckon," _

The first man hit the second man in the shoulder.

"_Don't be talking 'bout the dead like that George. Disrespectful now, 'innit,"_

The man, _George_, he shrugged slightly.

"_Pretty face she had, even all mucked up as she is. Shame she gone on," _

"_Thank you, gentlemen, for your service," Dr. Cullen _said to the two men, and they shook hands again before parting ways. _Dr. Cullen _pushed the door to the morgue open and Carlisle and I slipped in behind him.

The room was darker, and dreary. The mood of the doctor almost changed immediately when he entered. He hung his head in a solemn way, looking at his chart.

Along one wall was several beds. Some were empty, some had sheets thrown over figures that were clearly bodies. The room smelled damp, and death hung in the air.

We watched as _Dr. Cullen _froze in his footsteps and listened, turning, looking at the row of beds, his eyes falling to one. He slowly inhaled, as if to taste the air. Then he slowly crept closer to one of the beds.

"_Impossible," _he whispered to himself. He loomed over the bed, listening. Even from where Carlisle and I stood, we couldn't hear what _he_ was hearing. I moved closer, my husband coming with me, and stood at the foot of the bed. I gripped the metal frame that was the footboard of the bed.

_Dr. Cullen _slowly pulled back the white sheet over the body, revealing the face of the person beneath. The doctor gasped quietly at the sight of the woman, almost falling backwards a step.

_Esme._

I gasped myself, my hand coming up to cover my mouth. I felt Carlisle rest a hand on my arm, squeezing.

Her face was blue and purple, and her hair line was caked in dried blood. As well as the collar line of the button up blouse she had on. I was afraid to see the rest of her body that was beneath the sheet, and how mangled it may be.

"_Esme," Dr. Cullen _said in a fearful whisper, and lowered himself, almost shakily, to sit on the edge of the cot. He reached out and brushed her hair from her pale and bruised face.

"_What happened to you?" _he asked. Then he leaned closer, almost to her chest, listening. Straining, I could hear the sad _thump-thump…thump-thump _of her dying heart. Despair crossed his face for several moments as his eyes scanned her. But then they had a glimmer of hope for a moment, and he hesitated, pulling the collar of her blouse away from the skin of her neck.

"_Please work…" _he said in a pleading voice to himself and leaned over her. _"Forgive me,"_

The gush of blood filled his mouth and seeped down her neck, soaking more of the blouse with blood as he sunk his teeth into her flesh. The smell filled the air and I tensed; though not as much as my husband beside me. It smelled appealing, but not as much as it should have. Perhaps the weak heartbeat was making it smell…off. I pressed a hand to Carlisle's chest to keep him still. He had to cover his nose with his hand instantly.

I watched as _Dr. Cullen _leaned in, in an almost uncontrolled instinctual way, and sunk his teeth in again, forcing more venom into the dying woman, before sealing off the wound. He rushed over to the sink, spitting out the mouthful of blood.

I looked over to my husband, who looked like he was in pain. His muscles were tensed, and I could tell he was clenching his jaw with a fury.

The smell.

My own blood clearly wasn't affecting me, but it was torturing him.

"Carlisle?" I asked. He closed his eyes, calming himself with a slow inhale through his mouth.

"I'm sorry love. I forgot…how powerful your blood was to me," he said, almost straining to control himself.

"Are you ok? We can go," I suggested. He shook his head softly.

"I'm ok," he said softly in a whisper.

I turned back to _Dr. Cullen _who stood up after regaining his composure, and quickly went about filling out the chart, and making it look like the body had been claimed by a family. Then he leaned over Esme, giving her a soft kiss on her forehead.

"_Please work," _he whispered desperately again, before scooping her up in his arms. That was when I saw more of the damage to her body. One leg was clearly broken, as was one arm. I couldn't tell the further extend with the gown she had on.

Carlisle and I followed, until we were standing outside the back door, where the doctor looked back checking for witnesses, before disappearing at vampire speed through the trees, with _Esme _cradled limply in his arms.

Carlisle had seemed to calm down after we had stepped outside, the fresh air flushing out the scent of blood in his nose.

"Do we follow, or go back first?" I asked, looking into the tree's where _Carlisle _had disappeared.

"We can take the car back to the house, and then head home after," he said. I nodded softly, lifting our hands to turn time back to the 21st century.

**OoO**

_**April 17**__**th**__**, 2023**_

Carlisle and I were standing back outside the fence of the old hospital lot, the car to the side of us. The street was quiet, the sun hiding behind the clouds. I unwrapped our hands and slipped the chain in my pocket. He opened the passenger door for me, and I climbed in, allowing him to close it behind me.

He climbed into his seat and started up the car.

"Carlisle?" I said softly, gaining his attention. He looked over at me, his eyes were so dark from the smell of the blood, they were practically black, "You need to feed, my love. Your eyes are black,".

He sighed, nodding, as we pulled out onto the main road and headed back towards the house. I slid my hand into his, leaning over and pressing my lips to his shoulder.

"I love you," I mumbled against his clothing. He reached a hand over and touched my cheek softly and giving me a gentle smile.

"My throat is on fire," he whispered hoarsely. I ran my fingers up his arm,

"We'll go hunt at the house," I told him.

"I… I forgot how much your blood affected me," he said quietly, his face contorting in pain just at the thought.

"I'm sorry," I told him, feeling bad for making him go through that, more so because it hadn't affected me at all.

"It's ok. You can't control it. It's not your fault," he said as he ran his thumb over the back of my hand, "You don't choose your singer. And it's rare that you have the control to not kill them instantly… Even I…" he began explaining but trailed off.

"Carlisle?" I asked, urging him to continue.

"Even I… briefly lost myself…to the taste of your blood," he said in a very low tone, hanging his head. I sighed.

"Carlisle…I just saw what happened, and you have nothing to feel bad about," I told him, "Edward, he did the same thing to Bella. Love, you hardly lost control… And I mean… I can't blame you," I told him, offering up a smirk, "But I can't help that I taste so good," I added, earning a chuckled out of him, and in turn a smile out of me, "Lighten up my love, everything is okay," I said softly, reaching to give him a kiss on the cheek, "You've been here with me for every hardship I've had to face again. I'm here for you if this is hard,"

He offered me another soft smile and remained silent the rest of the way.

My gaze fell to the clock on the center of the control panel. It was only 11 o'clock in the morning; no more than 2 hours since we had left the house before, even though we had spent several days worth of time in the past. It was still strange to me to experience so much time going by in the past, but not a moment went by in the present.

**OoO**

As we pulled up to the house, and Carlisle turned off the car, I climbed out and inhaled the air. The faint scent of deer was being blown in our direction by the wind.

"We should head east, over the river," I suggested, and Carlisle nodded, following me as we crossed the yard, getting a running start to jump the river, and headed into the trees.

It was only a mile or two before the scent was so strong that Carlisle lost himself to his hunger and took off ahead of me. I slowed down and let him have his pick of the herd. I crouched down on a rock, downwind from the big buck and three doe that were grazing on the new bits of grass that were growing up through the old grass of last year.

I watched my husband take down the buck, sending the other three running; two to the south and one straight to me. I pounced on the doe, taking it down and draining it slower than usual. The warm blood flowed down my throat, temporarily taking away the burn.

When I looked up from the drained corpse, my husband was looking over at me, with his buck laying lifeless a few feet from him. The gold in his eyes was slowly returning and he looked better in the face.

"Good?" I asked him, and he nodded. I smiled softly and walked towards him. I reached up and cradled one cheek against my palm, admiring the returning gold as it seeped into the black, overtaking it completely.

"I'm better," he said, his voice quiet. I raised my other hand to cup both sides of his face and stood on my toes to kiss his lips softly. It was short, sweet, but comforting.

"I love you," I said softly to him, "And I'm here. So don't be afraid," I added, and slipped my arms around his neck, burying myself in his scent as I pulled him down to my level and hugged him.

"I love you too," he whispered near my ear, placing a kiss on my neck…


	13. Transformation

**Esme's POV**

When we returned to the yard, we sat down on the front step, as the sun broke through the clouds. The sun bounced off our skin, sending the shimmering reflection of diamonds everywhere. I smiled, rubbing the back of Carlisle's hand with my thumb.

"Are you alright?" I asked him, looking up from our hands. He looked better after our quick hunt. He hung his head, sighing softly.

"It's just hard… to think about seeing you that way…again," he said slowly, a sadness and nervousness in his voice. I continued to rub his hand with my thumb. "There was so much more damage done that I only discovered when I brought you home and changed you out of that dress," he continued, "I've tried hard to push the image from my mind… so it's hard knowing I'll have to see it again,".

I reached up and touched a lock of windswept hair, putting it back in its place.

"I'm sorry," I apologized, feeling guilty again for hurting my husband. He shook his head,

"It's alright. I'll be ok. It's just hard, and so… I hesitate," he told me. I leaned over and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"All you need to think about is that I'm ok, and I'm right here. No matter what happened or what you felt or worried about in the past, I'm here with you right now. And I'm glad I am," I assured him, leaning into his shoulder, letting him wrap his arm around my back. He was quiet for a minute, but I could feel the physical tension releasing from his body and he relaxed.

"That's why I love you," He whispered, pulling me into a full side hug. I smiled and he looked down, kissing my lips softly.

"But not the only reason," I said with a grin. He smiled sweetly,

"No, of course not, my love. Many more reasons," He said and kissed my hair.

"Shall we go?" I asked, sitting up straight. He sighed heavily but nodded, standing up and offering a hand to me. I smiled and graciously took it, making sure to weave our fingers together, as I reached my other hand into my pocket for the necklace.

I wrapped it around my left and his right hand, and focused as I turned back to moments before _Dr. Cullen _had arrived.

_June 12__th__, 1921_

The moment time moved at its own speed, music drifted from inside the house. A soft ballad. _Edward. _He was home and playing away the time, waiting for Carlisle; likely to go for a hunt together. Suddenly the sound was cut off and silence hung in the air for a moment before.

_BANG!_

The fallboard of the piano being aggressively shut. And then from behind us, the trees rustled, and several branches snapped loudly before _Dr. Cullen _appeared, moving at vampiric speed, the limp woman in his arms.

He slowed at the steps, to a human speed, and _Edward_ was there, with the door open.

"_Carlisle what's going on? Your thoughts are everywh-" _but he cut himself off, seeing the limp, lifeless woman in his father's arms. _Carlisle _brushed past the boy and rushed upstairs without saying a thing to him. _Edward _slammed the door behind him, and his footstep dashed up the stairs as well.

Carlisle and I followed them, going into the house, right on _Edward's _tail. We moved quickly up the stairs of the home, down the hall, and into the office. Carlisle was gently laying _Esme_ on the couch that was near the window. Books were scattered around the room; some opened, many on the floor as there weren't many shelves._ Edward _was standing just inside the door, his face angry, but he had rushed to get a blanket to cover the couch with before Carlisle had laid the young woman down.

She was not moving, and her heart was still beating very slowly.

Finally after several minutes of silence, _Edward _snapped.

"_Carlisle what did you do?" Edward _asked, seething, but trying not to yell. _Carlisle _remained quiet but must have answered him in his mind. _"Do you even know who she is?!" Edward _asked louder, only making _Carlisle _hang his head and run his fingers through his hair. Again, he answered in thought, seeming to frustrate the boy more. There was a strange moment of silence between the two before _Edward _spoke again, more calmly. _"Clean her up. I'm going hunting…" _he said to his father as he headed to the door and paused when _Carlisle _turned sharply, a sympathetic look on his face. _Edward _only huffed. _"Yes WE were supposed to go…But I'm going now because the blood coming from her wounds is bothering me," _he said and with that, he was gone.

_Carlisle _let out a heavy and shaky sigh and turned back to the broken woman. She had not moved and there was seemingly no difference to her appearance or alertness yet. Her heart thumped slowly, but a little louder. The only sound in the room.

_Carlisle _turned and quickly exited the office, rushing into another room; his room. I could hear drawers being opened and closed. He returned only seconds later with a set of clothing in his arms and a brush, setting it down on top of the desk in the room, a few feet opposite to the couch. He then quickly rushed out again. I could hear light shuffling about in the kitchen.

I took the opportunity of _Carlisle _being out of the room to step closer to the woman, who's clothes still hid the extent of her injuries. Her face, now in better light, was extremely pale white. Her gown; once white or cream, was now a nasty grey from the water, and stained with blood and dirt. Her broken arm and leg were both purple with bruises and slightly swollen. Her hair was tattered; the caked blood from her skull and a leaf that had gotten caught in the unruly curls whilst being carried through the trees.

_Carlisle _reappeared, a moment later carrying a bowl of water at a human pace being sure not to spill it; draped over his arm was a cloth and a blanket. He set the blanket aside and pulled his chair over to sit with the unmoving woman. He set the bowl of water and cloth on the small end table by the couch, and looked down, brushing the hair from her face with his hand. He leaned in, listening.

The _thump-thump _of her heart was beginning to pick up slowly. He smiled only softly.

"_You're gonna be ok," _he said to her.

He then took the wet cloth from the bowl of water and rung it out, before gently wiping the caked blood from her face and hairline. He moved slowly and with caution as he cleaned her skin delicately, then attempted with a small men's comb, to untangle her knotted locks.

I watched from the side as he hesitated to unbutton the unconscious woman's gown. His fingers hovered over the buttons for a moment, and let out a heavy sigh, brushing the unconscious woman's hair away from her cheek.

"_I don't want to do this my dear…but the blood on your clothes with drive you mad when you wake," _he said softly to her, and proceeded to change her out of the blood-stained clothing.

When he removed her clothing, I saw just how much surface damage there was over her skin. Large portions of her midsection, ribs, and back were scraped, and several were raw; already scabbed over. Bruises, deep blues and greens, were present with them. Her collar bone was also broken; the jagged shape of the misaligned bones protruding. _Carlisle _looked her over completely, stating softly, either to her or himself, that her pelvis and lower back was likely broken, and had severed her spinal cord.

"How did you know that?" I asked my husband, turning to look at him. He pointed to his ear.

"Listening…and feeling," he said to me, "Even as your heart started beating harder, your legs showed no sign of response to the venom. I was worried the venom may not have the power to fix the extent of the damage," he said, hanging his head slightly, as we both looked back at the two people in front of us.

I guess being a doctor, I wasn't surprised when _Carlisle _paused and whispered to himself.

"_You had a baby…" _in almost an observatory way rather than a statement.

There was no mistaking it. The stretch marks across the poor girl's entire abdomen were very visible when her dress and undergarments had been removed; and if that hadn't been enough, having gone four days without feeding an infant had engorged her breasts to an uncomfortable size.

When _Carlisle _had gotten _Esme _completely cleaned of blood, and into the old pair of pyjamas he had brought, he draped the blanket over her, and threw the blood covered clothing in the fireplace to burn it. He then sat down in his chair again, putting his head in his hands for a moment, before dragging his palms down his face. A very human like indicator of stress. He sighed, taking one of _Esme's _hands in both of his, stroking the back of it softly.

"_What happened to you?" _he asked her as she lay, still unmoving.

**OoO**

It had been two hours since _Edward _had dashed out the door. _Carlisle _had sat in silence, holding _Esme's _hand. It hadn't felt like much time has passed.

There were suddenly footsteps approaching the house, and the front door was opened and closed, much more calmly. _Edward _entered the room several moments later walking at a human pace. His eyes were bright gold again and he seemed calmer overall. _Carlisle _looked over at him, perking up from his somberness slightly.

"_I know what you're going to ask without you even thinking it; I can't hear her. She's just…in the dark," Edward _told his father, whose eyes saddened. There was a pause between them for a moment before the boy continued to interrogate his father. _"What were you thinking, Carlisle?" _the boy asked. _Carlisle _ran his fingers through his hair again and looked at the boy. The look on his face when his eyes met _Edward's _made him look like a child in trouble. But he kept his side of the conversation in his head. There was a silence until _Edward _answered.

"_Sound's like a story," _he replied. _Carlisle _pursed his lips and nodded slightly, looking at _Edward. _Silence.

"_You've treated thousands of people. What makes her different?"_

Their one-sided conversation continued on this way. _Edward _retorting back at _Carlisle,_ who made faces and replied in his mind.

"_That was 10 years ago, Carlisle. You don't know anything about her!"…_

"_She could have a family you just took her away from,"…_

"_You're not a detective Carlisle. If could have been foul play, suicide, an accident!"…_

"_Would you stop this! Use your voice," Edward _finally snapped. _Carlisle _sighed,

"_Do you think I like not knowing what I took from her?!" Carlisle _asked, rasing his voice in frustration, and slumping his shoulders in defeat, _"I just-…couldn't let her die," _he said quietly.

_Edward's _posture seemed to relax at the sight of his father's confliction. Then he sighed himself.

"_You need to go hunt," _he said in a normal tone.

"_I'm fine," Carlisle _brushed of his statement. _Edward _furrowed his brow, stepping into the space between his father and _Esme._

"_Go hunt," _he said firmly, _"I'll sit with her while you're gone. You won't be able to restrain her if you haven't fed when she wakes up," Edward _said, and the rationalization seemed to get through the distraught mind of _Carlisle, _who stood up and touched his son's shoulder.

"_You're welcome," Edward _said with a soft nod.

_Carlisle _turned slowly and left the room. His footsteps retreated at a human pace until he was out the door and headed into the trees.

_Edward _stood until his father was out of hearing range, and then sat down gently in the chair, looking down at _Esme._ His eyes were studying her, probably searching for anything in her mind.

"_You have a nice name," _he said quietly, taking the same hand that his father had been holding, _"I just wish he hadn't done this. He interfered. He made you into this. It's not fair," _he added, rubbing circles on her hand with his thumb. Then he leaned back, and sighed, furrowing his brow.

"_Come on…there has to be something in there," _he said to himself, closing his eyes.

Suddenly there was a movement. It was barely there but my eyes caught it. Her fingers on the hand that _Edward _held twitched once, ever so slightly. _Edward's _eyes shot open and looked down. Her fingers twitched again, the end's curling subtly. The boy's eyes moved to study her face. Her lips twitched as well, barely noticeable.

"_Come on Esme, give me something…" Edward _whispered, hoping for a thought to come through.

"I don't remember any of this," I said, looking over at my husband, who's eyes were transfixed to the scene around us.

"Edward never told me what he said to you while I was out," he replied. I looked back at _Edward, _studying his interaction with _Esme_.

"_Think of something..." Edward _said to her and listened.

He paused for a long time….and then:

"_I know it hurts… But it will be over soon," _he said to her, caressing her hand. Her lip quivered a little more.

"_It's ok, you're safe here," _he added, _"Just think of something. It will keep your mind off the pain,"…_

"_No Esme, I'm not God,"…_

_Edward _chuckled.

"_No, you're not in a coma…It's not a dream either,"…_

"_It's ok, don't panic…you're not actually dead,"…_

The pain of the venom must have overwhelmed her because she let out a whimper, that turned into a horrifying scream of agony. She started moving more. The hand twitch turned into arms thrashing. Her legs still were not moving. She was trying to hold back the screams of pain but was failing. _Edward _was forced to grasp her arms to keep her still as she screamed, her head tipping back in agony, her hair falling out of the way and revealing the raw wound of where _Carlisle's _teeth pierced her jugular twice.

_Edward _was trying desperately to reach her mind and calm her down with words, but it was useless. He only sighed and held her down to prevent her from hurting herself.

I hadn't even heard him approach the house, but suddenly the door was thrown open, slamming against the wall, making me jump and grab my husband's arm.

_Carlisle _was in the room again, right by _Edward's_ side.

"_What happened?" _he asked, taking over from the boy and holding _Esme _down.

"_She started twitching and then she managed to think of a few things. Then she started screaming and thrashing," Edward _told his father. _Carlisle _had his full attention on _Esme._

"_Have her legs moved?" _he asked, looking back at _Edward, _who shook his head.

"_It's ok Esme. I know it hurts," Carlisle _told the thrashing woman.

"_She recognizes your voice, Carlisle," Edward _told him, and _Carlisle _had a hopeful look in his eye.

"_I never told her my name," _he said, and looked back down, _"Esme...It's Doctor Cullen," _he told her.

"_She's relieved it's you," Edward _told his father, who smiled at the woman.

"_Yes, it's me…You're gonna be ok, I promise," _he told her._ Esme's _thrashing calmed down slightly. _Carlisle _slid onto the edge of the couch rather than into the chair, sitting next to _Esme's _side.

"_Should I stay?" Edward _asked, gaining his father's attention.

"_It's up to you Edward. But I need you here when she wakes up. Even if she's level-headed, she'll still be stronger than either of us," Carlisle _told him and _Edward_ nodded, before leaving the room.

A few moments later, a soft song filled the air. _Edward _back at his piano. I smiled at my husband, wrapping my arms around him.

**OoO**

I skipped ahead a couple hours, and it was now the middle of the night. _Edward _had retreated to his room and was listening to music quietly.

_Carlisle _had let go of his hold on _Esme, _as she had calmed down and was not thrashing as wildly anymore, just moaning from the pain a lot. She still hadn't said anything though. Her fingers had curled into a death grip on the pillow that her head was on. _Carlisle _had taken a book from one of his stacks and situated himself on the couch, at _Esme's _feet; her ankles laying over his lap. He was reading quietly from a book of old Shakespearian sonnets. Something to break the tension in the room.

He was pulled from his reading when Esme started crying out in agony again. Carlisle threw his book down and jumped up from his spot, crouching by her head. He stroked her cheek softly as she screamed, trying to calm her.

Almost out of nowhere, there was a sickening sound, like a cracking, and then _Esme's _body jolted, straighten out and adding several inches to her torso. It caused her to scream. It sounded like a horror movie. I gasped in shock when it happened.

I had almost forgot her back and pelvis had been broken, focusing so much on her screams. I notice both _Carlisle _and my husband beside me wincing at the sound. It was a sound that would have made any human vomit. The sound almost made me sick myself as I clung to my husband's arm.

And then she thrashed again, but not her arms. Her legs kicked and squirmed against the couch. _Carlisle _let out a sigh.

"_Thank god," _he said with relief, and took her hand in his, placing a kiss on it.

"I had no idea what I would do if you ended up paralyzed," Carlisle said, looking over at me. I gave him an awkward reassuring smile.

"A paralyzed vampire? Is that even possible?" I asked him.

"I highly doubt it is now… Back then I was worried it was," he told me, "If our family has taught me anything about vampires, it's that venom is more powerful than I ever thought it was," he added. It was true. It had saved my body from a feeble heartbeat and broken bones that no medicine or surgery could have fixed. It saved Rosalie from bleeding out and Emmett from the horror of what the bear had done to him. Bella had been legally dead after Renesmee had been born, with no heartbeat at all and the venom had brought her back. You didn't need a half alive human for it to work.

_Edward_ came into the room, a worried look on his face.

"_What happened?" _he asked, looking at _Carlisle _who was softly stroking _Esme's _cheek, soothing her. She was whimpering in pain from her recent event.

"_The venom. It fixed her back," Carlisle _said, looking at his son and then back at _Esme, "It's ok," _he whispered to her, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"_She wants to speak. But she can't," Edward _told _Carlisle, _as he wandered closer to the couch, leaning over the back to look down at the woman.

"_What is she thinking about?" Carlisle _asked, holding _Esme's _hand close to his face.

"_She's scared, confused. She can hear us, but I don't think anything is really making sense… The short few thoughts I got from her while you were out is the most sense her mind has made," Edward_ told his father. _Carlisle _sighed hanging his head.

"_The venom is too much for her to think," _he said, and then looked at his son, _"Thank you," _he added, and _Edward _nodded once before leaving the room again.

I turned to my husband who had a sad look on his face. I reached up and caressed his cheek softly with my palm.

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"You're just in so much pain," he replied, gazing on at the sight of the whimpering woman and the man trying desperately to comfort her in a proper manner. I nodded softly.

"I was… but it's over…it's the past," I said, trying to absolve his worry. Then I tried to change the subject to relax him. "Why don't we skip forward?" I suggested, and he nodded softly.

I turned the time forward, two more days.

_June 14__th__, 1921_

When I looked around the room, the sun was coming in through the window of the study, casting rays across the floor. _Carlisle _was standing just out of the ray's reach, off to the side, with his hands in his pockets. _Edward _was standing in the open doorway, his arms crossed over his chest.

_Esme _was laying on her side on the couch, the blanket was draped over her body, leaving her shoulder partially exposed. Both men were silent and had their eyes transfixed on her. Her appearance was much better. The scrapes and bruises on her face were now gone, and she was peaceful looking in her sleep.

Her heartbeat was thumping, the only sound that was in the air. Slowly it began getting weaker and slower, until…

It stopped.

And then her eyes flew open, and she gasped, inhaling sharply, gasping for breath she didn't need.

The boys stood frozen, not moving, not breathing, afraid to startle her.

_Esme_ let out a heavy exhale, trying to calm herself. She groaned as she sat up in her spot, the blanket fell down onto her lap. _Esme _closed her eyes for a moment and one hand went up to her forehead as she rubbed it, like she had a headache. Then she swallowed, and her hand moved to her throat. When she opened her eyes again, she noticed the blanket and pyjamas she was in, as well as the couch she was on. Then she looked around the room, her bright, fiery red eyes were full of confusion. She was relatively calm as she was adjusting to her new sight. Her head turned sharply, and she caught side of _Carlisle_ and jumped slightly in her seat.

"_Hello," Carlisle _said softly, not moving from his spot. _Esme _sat frozen, and then a realization came over her that a man was looking at her in her pyjamas, and she pulled the blanket close. Her fingers tore through the thin blanket like tissue paper, but she didn't notice. Her focus was on him.

"_Dr. Cullen?" _she asked, and then grasped her throat again, almost shocked at the sound of her own voice.

_Carlisle _smiled softly, bowing his head slightly.

"_Miss Platt," _he said fondly. There was a moment of silence between them before _Carlisle _took a human paced step towards her. _Esme _didn't react, and _Carlisle _moved closer, slowly lowering himself into the chair he had spent hours sitting in holding her hand. Her piercing eyes were unnerving to look at as her gaze followed the doctor nervously.

"_I understand you must be confused," Carlisle _said to her, his voice soft and soothing, keeping her relaxed, _"What can you remember?" _he asked her, his eyes hopeful. She swallowed nervously.

"_Um…a lot of pain…" _she said quietly, _"What happened?" _she asked, her eyes meeting his.

"I remember this," I said, looking up at Carlisle, his eyes met mine, much like our reflections before us.

"Still one of my favorite memories," he said with a gentle smile. I glanced back at our past selves.

"We should leave them," I said quietly as _Esme's _face contorted at the explanation _Carlisle _was giving her.

Carlisle nodded and I took one last glance at the red eyed me, before turning us back…


	14. The Cliff

**April 17****th****, 2023**

**Esme's POV**

We were back in our time, standing in the empty upstairs of the house. I glanced around, the scene had been replaced with the bare office room and the dustiness. I unwrapped our hands, and as soon as I tucked the necklace back into my pocket, Carlisle wrapped his arms around me. I jumped slightly, not expecting such a firm hug. He didn't say anything, but he held me tight, his arms wrapping fully around me, and his nose buried in the crook of my neck, inhaling my scent. I let out a heavy exhale, and wrapped my arms around his neck, doing the same. I closed my eyes and inhaled the scent of him, holding him tight.

"I'm so glad I have you," I heard him mumble into my neck. I smiled softly, running one of my hands through his hair. I knew it was his way of saying, that despite the guilt he felt for changing me, he was glad he did it.

"I love you too," I sighed softly, and kissed his neck. I heard and felt a low rumble in his throat. I smiled against his skin before pulling my face away, making him look up at me. "Come, we still have one more stop on the way home," I said, ruffling his hair lightly and combing with back into place with my fingers. We linked hands and left the house for the second time that day.

**OoO**

I sat nervously in the passenger seat trying to keep myself calm as we drove west of Ashland. About 500 meters past the road to turn toward the cemetery, Carlisle pulled the car over onto the shoulder of the road and turned into a little area that was a designated look out point over the rocks. Thankfully it was a Monday, and everyone was at work, leaving the look out completely empty.

I climbed out of the car and the April breeze was tousling my hair; being out in the open and at the waters edge. I pulled my jacket closed a bit more, a human and unnecessary notion. The cliffs edge was only a few meters from the parking area, and was protected by a huge fence, and several signs.

_**Danger! Cliff Edge!**_

_**Do Not Cross Barrier**_

_**Unstable Rocks**_

_**Rocks at Bottom. No Recreational Cliff Diving.**_

The signs decorated the fence all along. I noticed other signs that gave me a pain in my chest.

_**There's always HOPE. Please consider calling the National Suicide Hotline. 1-800-273-TALK. Help is a phone call away. **_

I bit my lip, and felt hands rest on my shoulders. I glanced back slightly, and Carlisle's lips press tenderly against my temple. I let out a heavy sigh and walked slowly towards the fence, and leaned on it, looking out over the water. The cold April water from the Chequamegon Bay, a piece of Lake Superior, was crashing against the rocks below.

Carlisle came and stood beside me, resting a hand on the top rung of the fence, looking out at the scene.

He had been here with me once before, the same time we came to visit my son's grave. This fence hadn't been here in the 30's. I guessed it was put up sometime in the 60's or 70's.

I stared out at the water, feeling my mind wander. To think I had been in such a low place in my life that it hadn't been worth going on.

I felt Carlisle rest a hand on top of mine and I broke my gaze from the waves. My eyes fell to his hand on mine as he curled his fingers around my own, and I trailed my eyes up his arm to meet his own.

"What are you thinking?" he asked, and I looked down, tucking my hair behind my ear with one hand.

"Why I did it…" I said with a sigh as I looked back out across the water. Carlisle ran his free hand through his wind-blown hair.

"We don't have to be here," he said gently. I closed my eyes and leaned on the fence again inhaling the fresh breeze.

"I'm ok," I told him, feeling his hand squeeze mine.

"You're doing much better than last time…" he said, coming and standing behind me, slipping his arms around my waist, holding me close. The last time we had come here it ended in a panic attack, and I had shut down emotionally for about a month. I took a deep breath,

"Like anything, it gets easier every time you do it," I told him, "It's easier to think about the past than it is to witness it. Your memory leaves things out. It's almost merciful in a way," I added, leaning back against his chest, "I forgot…how tiny my son really was…"

Carlisle leaned his head down and rested his chin in the crook of my neck.

"That's why I don't want to go back in time here. It's easier to just think about what I did than it would be to see it from my own view now," I explained, as his fingers twirled my tangled hair.

"Why did you want to come here?" he asked softly, his lips grazing my skin.

"Reflection," I said, turning in his arms, and leaning my back against the fence.

"Tell me," he said softly, leaning close to brush our noses together, and closing our eyes. I took a deep breath.

"I know we've talked about it before, but…I can't help wondering, especially being here again, about what my life would have been like had I not jumped," I told him. I had mentioned the thoughts before, several times. Shortly after I got to know him and Edward as my new friends, around the same time we had gotten married, and back when we first returned to Ashland. It wasn't a taboo topic between us, but one I knew my husband didn't care to discuss. But this time he surprised me.

"I think…" he began but paused, and I opened my eyes, leaning back to look in his, "I hope… you would have grieved properly, and then gone back to your job… or have moved, and found someone. Started over with someone who loved you with everything they had. Had lots of beautiful babies, and been happy." he said with a heavy sigh. I couldn't help but feel my heartstrings being pulled at and I offered him a sad smile, and hugged him tight, burying my face against his chest.

"I did start over with someone who loves me with everything they have," I said softly, and his hands wrapped around me tighter, one hand caressing my hair.

He softly pressed his lips to the top of my head. When he moved them and I lifted my eyes to meet his again, he pulled my lips to his, and kissed my passionately. I moaned, barely audible, as his hands slid down around my waist, hovering there for a moment before coming up and cupping my jaw softly. When his lips left mine, he looked troubled.

"What's wrong?" I asked reached up to touch his cheek like he was to me. He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and sighed heavily.

"I wish I could give you lots of beautiful babies like a human husband could have," he said lowly. I shook my head softly, and pressed a finger to his lips, hushing him.

"Not this again, Carlisle," I whispered, "We've been over this. I'm fine sacrificing my fertility for eternity with you," I told him, "I wanted you before I ever thought about children," I continued, ensuring he heard the emphasis on _you_, "And I have a bigger family, and more children now than I ever imagined I'd have,"

I kissed him again, more consolingly than for passion. My fingers touched his hair and toyed with it lightly until I broke our kiss.

"I love you," I told him with a smile, "And thank you, for doing this with me,"

He stroked his thumb over my cheek before kissing it softly.

"I love you too," he told me, and then his attention was pulled away from me and back out to the water.

"What is it?" I asked, turning and trying to see what he was seeing.

"That water…looks…cold," he said, and I swallowed nervously as he continued, "But despite the severity of your injuries… I think the hypothermia that set in almost immediately it what saved you long enough for me to find you," he told me. I tilted my head in curiosity and he played with a little strand of my hair near my neck, "It was early June, love… The water was still near freezing…" he told me, and I nodded softly in understanding.

"So… you think I was alive as long as I was… because of hypothermia," I asked and he nodded slowly, and then let out a heavy sigh, changing the subject.

"We should go home," he said as I turned my focus back on him, "I love our children, but how long can they be left alone?" he asked, jokingly, trying to lighten the mood. I smiled fondly and nodded.

"I do miss them," I said in agreement, and slipped both my hands into his.

"Let's head home then," he smiled, pressing a kiss to my forehead once more before we made our way back to the car.

**OoO**

We rode in comfortable silence for maybe twenty minutes or so. When I pulled the chain from my pocket and began fiddling it, Carlisle broke the silence.

"What's on your mind, love?" he asked, he eyes still on the road, but I knew he had glanced over at me.

"I was just thinking about what you said earlier… about exhuming the grave," I said, somberly. Carlisle peeled his eyes off the road long enough to give me a sad look.

"It was just a suggestion, love. We don't have to do anything. It's up to you," he told me, and one hand reached over the center console to hold mine. I set the necklace down in my lap and fiddled with his fingers instead, thinking.

"I want to," I told him, "But…" I trailed off, hesitating.

"But what?" he asked, squeezing my hand. He was looking back and forth between me and the road every few seconds. I took a slow breath.

"Is it wrong?" I asked. Surely if I needed answers, my 'set in his ways of faith' and morally upright husband would have them, "Is it wrong to take my son from his final resting place? All to avoid the grief it causes me from going there?"

Carlisle bit his top lip slightly, unsure.

"Are you worried about… something happening?" he asked, and I looked out my window at the passing flora for a moment, processing his question.

"Like would moving him cause unrest to his soul?... I suppose…" I told him and I felt a little squeeze on my hand again.

"I believe he'll be at rest forever, no matter where he is. And if having him with you brings any sort of ease to the grief you will forever endure, I'm glad," he told me. I smiled sadly and brought the back of his hand up to my lips, pressing a soft kiss there.

"Can we do it?" I asked. I knew little of the process and had so many questions.

"If it's what you desire, I'll try my hardest to make it happen…" he smiled kindly at me before copying my action and kissing the back of my hand, "But that is a conversation for later, I promise," he added. I nodded, my mind floating back to my children at home.

"What are we going to say when we get back?" I asked, changing the subject. Carlisle sighed.

"I don't want to lie to them, but I fear they won't react as you did to learning of these… powers," he said slowly. I nodded, using my free hand to pick the time turner out of my lap, and I held the pendant piece between my forefinger and thumb.

"We could avoid the topic for a while?" I said and he shook his head.

"Edward will catch on, and Alice was already worried when she called you," He replied, "We'll have to tell them sooner than later,"

I sighed, tucking the pendant back into my pocket and pulling out my phone.

"I'll text the kids and let them know that we'll be home soon," I said, sending a quick text to the family group we had.

Renesmee answered back almost immediately.

_Are you passing through town? Can you pick up some groceries?_

She sent an attached picture of a list. Carlisle saw his own phone in the cupholder light up and he chuckled.

"Of course," he smiled. I laughed lightly and replied to my granddaughter, telling her we would.

**OoO**

We stopped in Duluth and picked up the items Renesmee had asked us to get before heading down the road that led to our home. As we got closer to the house, we could hear the laughter and voices of our children. I furrowed my brow, confused. It was clouded over and only two in the afternoon. Why were they not in school?

As we pulled up the driveway, Carlisle parked the car outside the garage. I grabbed the two grocery bags and Carlisle grabbed our luggage, before we headed into the house, where I set the bags on the kitchen counter and quickly put everything in the fridge. Carlisle quickly took our bags upstairs and was back by my side in seconds.

"What are those kids up to?" I asked him. He chuckled, slipping his arms around my waist from behind, and kissing my shoulder.

"I don't know, but shall we go find out?" he said as he slipped a hand into mine and we walked out to the back yard.

The kids were hanging out in the backyard. They had the fire pit going, where Ness and Jake were snuggled up on the wicker patio furniture. Alice and Rose were on another chair, and Bella and Edward were on the patio couch. Jasper and Emmett were wrestling over in the grass.

"What, no welcome back hugs?" I asked, and my kids all looked at us, chuckling. Ness was the first to jump up and give me a hug.

"Why aren't you guys in school?" Carlisle asked, looing around as well.

"It was sunny this morning, so we stayed home," Alice said. Emmett and Jasper had stopped messing around and come up to the deck.

"How was your visit with the Denali's?" My husband prodded. The kids all murmured a "good" or "fine" and told part of their hunting regales in Canada.

"So… Where did you guys go?" Emmett asked, sitting on the arm of the wicker couch Rosalie was on.

I took a nervous breath as Edward eyed my suspiciously. I tried not to think of anything we had experienced.

"Ashland," I said with a shakily exhale. Every set of eyes were on me immediately, knowing I didn't like going there unnecessarily.

"Why? Is everything ok?" Rose asked, sitting up straight.

"We'll talk about it later," Carlisle interrupted, resting a hand on my back.

"Ness honey, the things you asked for are in the fridge," I told her.

"We'll unpack and come join you," my husband interrupted again. I smiled at the kids and then followed my husband back inside and up too our room. I slipped my jacket off, setting it on the bed and unzipped my bag, tossing my dirty clothing in our hamper. Carlisle did the same, hanging up the clean ones in our closet. I slipped my hand into the pocket of my jacket, grabbing the necklace, and I could feel Carlisle's eyes burning into me as I pulled it out, piling the chain in my hand. I turned around and our eyes met. I tried to keep my mind off of it though as I tossed it on the bed too.

I changed into a pair of lounge pants and an old Harvard sweatshirt. Carlisle threw on loungers and a t-shirt as well, and I slipped the necklace into the front pocket.

"This will be…interesting," I sighed as my husband and I headed back downstairs to join our children around the fire…


	15. Papers

**April 18****th****, 2023**

**Carlisle's POV**

We had told the kids about the necklace. And surprisingly most of them were not all that excited. I guess with all the things our family had seen in our times, we had become numb to the supernatural. If anything, Alice had been the most enthused with the discovery, asking if she could use it to help solve the mysteries revolving around her memory loss of her early human life. Esme had said she could, but in due time, after she learned how to control it independently. But all the kids expressed interest in using it to see bits of the past that they missed.

It was eleven-thirty in the morning. All of the kids were at school, so the house was quiet. I had done the night shift Monday when we returned and was off for this morning. As I sat at my desk in my upstairs office, I could hear my wife humming to herself as she was down the hall in her art studio, painting away on a canvas. The distinctive scent of oil paints filled the air predominantly. She had been in there most of the morning.

Across my desk was papers upon papers of things I had to do, forms to fill out, and people I would have to call. I promised my wife I would do what I could to go through with exhuming her sons grave. But I had little knowledge on the subject and a lot of research to do.

I had been at it since the house had emptied at seven-thirty this morning.

Finally, I set my pen down, and sat back in my leather chair.

"Esme?" I asked, my voice soft, knowing she would hear me, "Can you come here love?"

A moment later I heard her setting her paintbrush and pallet down, and her soft footsteps padding down the hallway; the absence of heels clicking was noted. She appeared in the doorway of the office, a gentle smile on her face, hair tucked away in a loose ponytail. She was in leggings and a sweater dress, her shoeless feet covered with socks.

"Yes?" she asked, folding her hands in front of her stomach. Every time I summoned her to my office, she had this demeanor that made it look like she was worried or in trouble. I smiled softly and motioned for her to come closer. She stepped though the doorframe and came around my desk, and I let her settle onto my lap.

"It's some paperwork I need to go over with you," I told her, tucking a loose piece of her bangs behind her ear.

"About the baby?" she asked nervously. I nodded,

"Yes love. It's a lot more work than I thought. And I just wanted to go over it with you so you understand what would be happening if you do go through with this," I explained to her. She leaned closer to the papers I had spread across my desk. My computer had a spreadsheet of information I had compiled to reference as well.

"Ok..." she said and nodded. I gestured to the papers as I explained each bit to her one by one.

"So it's not as simple as just going there, and taking the casket out of the ground. The landowner and groundskeeper need to be there, as well as the funeral director to take the casket to be cremated. Also at least one police officer, and an Environmental Health Officer will have to be present," I told her. She nodded and nibbled nervously on her indestructible fingernails. "I'll need to file for a Disinterment Permit from the Department of Justice to have an exhumation done,"

I turned and looked at the notes of things I was still missing.

"Do you…still have the papers tucked away somewhere? Birth and death certificate, burial papers?" I asked her softly, hoping not to strike a nerve to hardly. She nodded numbly,

"They're in the attic, in the box," she said, and swallowed nervously, "I can go get it," she added and slipped off my lap.

"I can come if you need," I offered, and she paused, shaking her head.

"I'm fine. I'll only be a minute,"

True she was only a minute, but she looked fairly upset when she set the box down softly on the edge of my desk. I had seen it several times in moving but Esme had not opened it in front of me more than once. The box usually stayed in the attic or in the absence of an attic, under our bed to keep it safe.

She stared at it for a moment, sighed, and flipped the two locks, opening the trunk-like box. She was silent and moved slowly as she shuffled through the box and pulled out a large envelope with "Joseph" written in her own hand on the front. She set it on the polished oak desktop and slid it towards me.

I hesitated to take to envelope, but delicately opened the seal and carefully pulled out the century old papers and unfolded them. Esme took the open box and set it gently on the couch, before sitting back down on my lap.

"I'll take photocopies of these and give the originals back to you," I said, wrapping my arms around her. I had the certificates in my hands, looking over them. "We'll have to come up with something that deters suspicion, because I obviously can't apply in your name as a "parent of the deceased"," I explained, and she nodded. "At first I thought about saying we wanted to cremate and rebury the baby with "you"...in Columbus, but the officer oversees that it will happen so that wouldn't work," I continued. In Columbus where her parents were buried, was a headstone and empty grave for Esme that her parents had put there before they died. She had discovered it after her parents passed and we had gone to visit the cemetery.

"So what I came up with is this. We state that you are the only known living relative, say a second cousin or niece of the deceased, and you inherited the "ashes" of the child's mother and want them to be together. Because the grave your parents placed in Columbus is empty, I can fake the papers saying the body was found, cremated, and kept in the family, ending up with you," I continued to explain this story I had made up.

Esme seemed to understand what I was saying but she seemed saddened. I reached a hand up and caressed her cheek softly.

"Are you alright love? I can stop if it's too much," I asked and she snuggled up to me, resting her head against my shoulder.

"I'm ok… It's just… a lot of information to absorb at once," She say, her nose nuzzling my neck. I turned my head to kiss her forehead and gently pulled her hair free of its pony.

"If you think you can't do it sweetheart, you aren't legally required to be there," I told her, trying to give her a little ease. She shook her head violently and I heard her begin to cry softly. I lifted her head from my shoulder and cupped her cheek, running my thumb along her cheekbone, as if to wipe away the tears that wouldn't fall from her eyes.

"No…" she whimpered softly, "I-…I just," she stuttered a few times before trying to calm herself a little, "I was there when I put my baby in the ground, and I'll be damned if I'm not there when I take him out," she said, her voice shaking, wavering as she cupped a hand over her mouth to hold back the sobs. I hushed her soothingly, pulling her into a tight embrace in my lap.

"It's ok," I whispered softly, stroking her hair. She slowly calmed herself and lifted her head, reaching for the papers again.

"I'm ok," she sighed, wiping her eyes. A human and unnecessary habit she still did.

"Are you sure? We can deal with this another day, love," I assured her. She shook her head,

"The sooner we approach this, the closer I am to having my baby with me," She said, and swallowed hard, taking another deep breath, "I want to help…What do you need me to do?" She asked. I smiled weakly and kissed her shoulder softly.

"Pull up the other chair with me and I'll go through what I have for you to fill out," I told her gently and she nodded, leaving my lap again and crossing to room to fetch the smaller office chair that was at a second, smaller desk in the corner. She pulled it up beside me, leaning into me slightly.

"Where do we start?" she asked. I pulled a pen out of the cup holder, handing it to her, and sliding two small piles of papers in front of her.

"You can fill out the information on the application if you want," I offered and she nodded, "Remember it says at the top here to fill everything in block letters. And this pile is the guide if you need help with any sections," I added. She nodded again and set about filling out the questions and information. I turned to my computer, going about more research…

**OoO**

Esme sighed heavily when she finished filling in the papers.

"Done… I think," she said, putting her final signature on the last page, straightening the papers out and sliding them back to me. I shuffled through them, glancing over each one quickly and nodded.

"Yes, I think it's good," I told her, and slipped the papers into a fresh manila envelope, along with the photocopies of the papers Esme had given me, and I flipped the unsealed envelope over.

"What have you worked on?" She asked, leaning closer to look at more paper piles. I looked down at the papers as I was writing the Department of Justice's address on the envelope.

"Well, I'll mail this application to the Department of Justice, and hopefully in a few weeks we'll have our answer… But we can take the time to fill out the other forms and have them ready to send off as soon as we know," I explained to her, setting my completed envelope on the corner of my desk.

"Other forms?" She asked and I nodded slightly.

"The funeral director who will take care of the remains, once out of the ground, will need this form on hand," I said, sliding the new set of papers to her. She bit her lip nervously as she read over it.

"This is a lot," she said, and started slowly filling it out but paused after the first line, "Can you walk me through the whole process?" she asked me, looking at me. My eyes met her, and they were filled with many emotions. Fear, worry, concern, curiosity. I smiled softly, and pulled out a blank piece of paper, writing as I explained.

"Ok…Well earlier this morning I emailed a request to the landowner asking for permission to disinter a body on the site and sent him the information of who we are and which grave it is. I'm waiting for the reply. If we get a yes, they will fax me the approval, which I'll add to this envelope with the permit application and the copies of the papers you gave me. I'll send the envelope to the Department and in about 20 days we'll have a yes or no. If we get the permit which is good for 15 days, I'll then contact the funeral director in Ashland and send them a copy of the permit and this form you have here," I said as I lightly tapped the paper in front of her, "The funeral director will ask for the date of disinterment, and will contact for the groundskeeper and a local police officer to be at the site on that day. And the funeral director will take everything from there, requesting for an Environmental Health Officer to be sent to the site as well. All we have to do after that is show up," I finished my explanation. She swallowed hard again and ran her fingers through her hair, still looking like she had a million questions on her mind.

"What happens after, though? Once he's…dug up? Do I get to see?" she asked, and I turned to her, taking her hands in mine to keep her relaxed.

"After they take the vault with the casket out of the ground, the box they put everything in will be labelled and the funeral director will take it to his business to be cremated," I explained softly to her, "It's unlikely that they will open the vault in front of you, and certainly not the casket itself," I said, and she hung her head but nodded, "This form you're filling out will tell the funeral home whether you've chosen to rebury the ashes in the grave, or have the grave and headstone removed so someone else may use the plot. You can decide what's done with the headstone as well, if you'd like to have it moved, in the case of burying the remains elsewhere, or destroyed,"

She looked over at the papers she had forgotten about and then back at me.

"In a few days, usually one to two, the crematory will send you a box with the remains in it, along with the papers that need to be sent into the Department of Justice within 30 days so they know the task has been completed," I said and sat back in my chair, still holding her hands in mine.

She was quiet for a while before looking back up, so her eyes gazed into mine.

"Thank you," she whispered, barely holding herself together. I could hear it in her voice.

"Are you doing ok?" I asked and she nodded feebly.

"It's just hard, you know…" she said, biting her lip to hold in a sob, "Because for a century I've never had to think of his grave as anything but a resting spot of peace and a place to grieve. Now I feel like the dark, haunting reality of what's really under those four feet of dirt is creeping up my spine, " she choked out a sob, and her voice was becoming a bit frantic, "Just a rusted metal box with a disgusting rotten casket and-" she pulled her hands free of mine and covered her face letting out a cry of anguish, and then running her fingers over her face and through her hair, "God I feel like I'm having a nightmare," she said as she hid her face in her hands, resting her elbows on the desk, "What's wrong with me?" she asked, half crying, but she sounded frustrated.

I rolled my chair closer, allowing my hands to rest on her knees.

"It's ok to be upset or worried, Esme," I tried to calm her by running my hands softly on the top of her thighs, "But please don't be distressing yourself with thoughts like that," I hushed softly. She pulled her head out of her hands and looked at me. Her eyes were sad. I sighed and in one swift motion, closed my laptop, stood up, and scooped her up in my arms.

I was in our room in mere seconds, setting her gently on the bed.

"What are you doing?" she asked, wiping her eyes again. I brushed her hair gently out of her eyes as I sat down on the edge of the bed beside her.

"That's enough papers for now. It's clearly upsetting you," I told her, and she opened her mouth to speak but I pressed a finger to her lips, "I'll go back to it later," I assured her.

She nodded and with no warning she had her hands on my shoulders and swung a leg over me, straddling my lap. My hands involuntarily fell to her hips, holding her there. Her fingers trailed their way to my neck, and she leaned in, pressing her bodyweight onto me.

"Take my mind off it," she whispered near my ear before kissing the flesh on my neck softly. I swallowed the lump in my throat that was forming.

"Are you sure?" I whispered back, and she nodded against my skin. Her hips pressed into mine, and I felt a moan in my chest. She smirked against my neck and moved her lips across my jaw until they sealed with my own. I smiled into our kiss and slowly leaned back until my back was pressed against the comforter. She squirmed against me, her hands making work of the buttons on my shirt. I chuckled running my fingers through her hair as she kissed me.

"Touch me, please," she moaned, finishing the buttons and placing her lips on my bare skin.

"Esme," I tried to get her to relax and look at me. The door was still open, my legs were hanging off the bed, at the knees, and her lust had come out of nowhere. She was tense too, and her mine was clearly elsewhere, "Esme," I said a little firmer and she stopped, looking up, her hair half hiding her face as she was leaning over my chest. I gently rolled her off me and hovered over her.

"What…?" she asked, her voice wavering. I slid off the bed, and she sat up, confused, "Carlisle?" she said. I slid my unbuttoned shirt off my arms and tossed it onto the bench at the foot of the bed. I climbed back on the bed and relaxed into the pillows, propped up against the headboard. I grabbed her arms and pulled her back into my lap but cradled across rather than straddled.

"Slowly," I told her with a soft smile and gentle tone, fixing her hair again, tucking it behind her ears, "Just kiss me…and relax"

She smiled sweetly and leaned in, sealing our lips together again, kissing me softly but with passion. After a minute I could feel the tension in her body melting away as her tongue entangled with mine. When her lips fell from mine, they came to rest on the scars across my collar bone and neck. I closed my eyes and let my head fall back.

I could tell she had full calmed down when she snuggled into my chest. I tossed the throw blanket at the end of our bed over to two of us and laid there together in silence for the rest of the day.

My own mind was wandering, questions galore. I was thinking so many things at once it would have drove Edward insane. But most were around the peaceful woman I held in my arms, who had relaxed to a state of near sleep as she inhaled my scent and mindlessly traced nothing on my chest with her fingers.

How well would she fair with resurrecting even more memories; the hardest ones? Her baby…

**AN: Sorry the kids finding out was anti climactic, but it's a Carlesme story and I like focusing around my main two people. Plus I do feel that the kids would be excited but not over reacting or fighting over who gets to use the necklaces power first.**


	16. Disinterment

**June 12****th****, 2023**

**Carlisle's POV**

We got our answer from the Department of Justice mid May, granting us the permit. Esme had slowly gotten over her worry and was happy to open the letter when it came in the mail.

Esme had chosen the 12th of June, the same day she buried her son 102 years ago, to have the disinterment. She felt it was symbolic.

I stood in front of the floor length mirror in our bedroom, buttoning up my charcoal grey dress shirt. I could hear my wife in the bathroom as she combed out her hair. She had disappeared into the bathroom over and hour ago and had been in there since.

I fixed my last few buttons, leaving the top two undone, exposing my gold crucifix necklace.

"Esme?" I asked, looking at the open bathroom door in the reflection. I could see her shadow in the bathroom light, but she didn't respond, "Esme?" I asked again, turning around to look at the door directly.

"Yeah?" her voice was shaky, even though she was trying to hide it. I furrowed my brow and slowly walked towards her.

"Are you ok love?" I asked when I peered around the corner or the door and saw my wife standing at the bathroom corner, pulling her brush slowly through her locks. She was staring at her reflection, almost lost as she combed. She didn't seem to notice me appear in the doorway beside her.

"Esme?" I asked once more, and she snapped out of her daze.

"Sorry…what's wrong?" she asked, setting her brush down and looking at me.

"Are you alright?" I asked, as I slipped my arms around her waist, my eyes meeting hers in the mirror. She was wearing a black dress that fell to her knees with three quarter length sleeves and a scalloped neckline. She too had a necklace around her neck; a small silver cross on a little chain. It was rare, her wearing one.

"I'm…I'm ok," she said softly, reaching up and fiddling with a piece of her bangs. I leaned closer pressing my lips softly to her neck, just near her ear.

"You're nervous, I can feel it," I whisper softly, "You're tensed up,"

She was silent, but let her eyes slip closed, taking a deep breath. I held her a little tighter.

"You look beautiful," I added, touching her locks of brown hair gently with my fingers. She smiled sadly, opening her eyes and they met mine again in the mirror.

"Thank you," she mumbled, her hand falling from the pendant, "We should go," she said, seeming to mentally shake away the state she was in. She turned, slipping out of my arms and walking out of the bathroom. I sighed, staring at my own reflection, and fixed a piece of my hair before following her.

She was slipping her phone into her purse and closing it. She looked up from where she was at the end of the bed, and her eyes met mine for a brief second.

"Ready?" I asked, as she picked up her black flats, setting them on the floor, and slipped them on. She nodded, and I slipped my hand into one of hers, squeezing her fingers reassuringly.

The kids we're standing at the bottom of the stairs, waiting for their mother. I held her hand tightly as we descended the staircase slowly. Her hand that wasn't in mine was grasping the railing, as if she would fall.

When we reached the bottom, I looked around at the kids, all standing silently. Esme had decided they could be there for this. As a support system. If I had to step in or away for a moment, she would need someone.

"All right…let's get going," I said, and they filed out swiftly. I leaned over and gave Esme a soft kiss on the cheek, "It'll be ok," I assured her, and let her leave so I could lock the door behind us.

I held her door open as she climbed into the passenger seat of my car, closing it once she was settled. I rounded the car and climbed into the driver's seat, starting up the engine. Edward, Rose, and Jasper were in the back seat. Edward and Rose to comfort Esme if she wanted to talk, and Jasper to keep her emotions collected. Alice, Emmett, Bella, and Ness were in the car behind us.

The car was silent most of the way and anytime I felt Esme's hand tense up in mine, my eyes would meet Jasper's in the rear-view mirror, and then Esme's hand would relax.

"Are you doing ok, mom?" Edward asked, breaking the silence finally. Esme snapped out of her daze again and looked back at Edward.

"I'm ok sweetie," she said softly, reaching a hand back towards him, "I'll be ok,"

I slipped a hand across and let it rest on her lap. She smiled softly, taking it in hers.

"Talk sweetheart," I encouraged her. Esme looked over at me, letting out a shaky exhale.

"Talk about what?... The fact that we're driving to Ashland to dig up my child after a hundred years and I know everyone is tiptoeing around me and expecting me to have a breakdown and I'm only keeping it together because someone keeps controlling my emotions when all I really want to do is feel something!" she said all in one breath, her voice elevating as she went on.

"Esme! Esme! Relax, calm down hun," I told her, trying to relax her as I grasped her arm tightly. My eyes met Jasper's in the mirror, and he nodded once. I nodded back as a silent communication. Esme relaxed, exhaling heavily, falling back into her seat.

"Better?" I asked her gently when her eyes slipped closed. She swallowed the venom in her mouth and nodded slowly.

"I'm sorry," she exhaled sadly. I saw Rosalie in my peripheral vision as she leaned forward, gently wrapping her arms around her mother, trying to offer comfort with the seat in the way.

"It's ok," Rose said softly to her, stroking her hair.

"I know Rose," her mother sighed, "I'm just…still processing all of this,"

The car was quiet from that point.

**OoO**

We pulled into the parking lot of the funeral home at the edge of the cemetery. The front of the building has a big sign near the door that read _Henderson Memorial Funeral Chapel & Family Services. _There were three other vehicles there and a cop car parked out from as well. I parked the car and unbuckled myself just as the rest of the kids pulled up beside us. I jumped out and was on Esme's side, holding her door in seconds. Emmett rolled down the window from the other vehicle.

"This it?" he asked, and I glanced over my shoulder as I held Esme's hand while she stepped out of the car.

"You guys stay here. There's a few things we need to discuss alone first," I said, closing the door behind my wife. I let her link her arm in mine and we walked into the building. The front area was welcoming; two couches, a coffee table, a reception desk with a middle-aged woman behind it. There were three men sitting on the couches, chatting among themselves. The woman behind the desk looked up when we approached.

"How can I help you folks?" she asked, her voice soft but happy. I smiled, back at her.

"We're here to see-"

"Dr. and Mrs. Cullen, we spoke on the phone. I'm Mark Henderson. I'm sorry, I was just talking with the groundskeeper…" an older man in his mid 50's rounded the corner and interrupted. Both of us looked at him and offered a hand to each of us to shake. Esme extended her hand nervously.

"Just let me do the talking," I whispered to her, too low for the man to hear.

"Gentleman?" Mr. Henderson inquired and all three men on the sofa stood up and came over, "Dr. and Mrs. Cullen, may I introduce you to the gentlemen who will be accompanying us today. This is Officer Michael Staten, he will be ensuring the protection and privacy of the disinterment, since we are by a major highway, and the cemetery is still open to have visitors at any hour. This is Robert Cunnings the Environmental Health Officer who will be overseeing that the remains and the grave itself are handled properly; and Daniel Gunner the landowner," he introduced each one and they shook our hands. Both officers were in their mid 40's and the landowner looked like he was around 60.

Mark picked up an envelope from the receptionist, and opened it, pulling out one of many papers inside.

"So, we're exhuming the site for cremation?" he asked, and I nodded when Esme stayed quiet. She had zoned out again, staring at some painting on the wall.

"Uh, yes. We just thought it would be the right thing to do. To keep the ashes together," I told him. He nodded understandingly. He had heard the entire made up story that we had concocted. I had spewed it off at least a dozen times to multiple officials on this case.

"Our groundskeeper is just headed out to the site now; shall we head out there?" he continued, gesturing kindly as we both nodded, following him back out the front door.

The kids had the windows on the vehicles down and were looking at all of us.

"Oh, Mark, sorry. These are our kids…" Esme said softly, looking around as the kids waved. He smiled fondly.

"Nice to meet you all," he said kindly, looking back at us, "Shall we?" he asked, we nodded, "Well then, we'll meet you over there," he said.

I led Esme back to the car, closing the door after her.

"We're going to the grave?" Rose asked softly as I climbed into my seat.

"Yes," I replied, starting up the car, and backing out of the parking space, following the other vehicles down the road slowly, with the rest of the kids behind us.

When we pulled up along side the area where the others parked. I sighed, turning the car off again. The kids didn't hesitate to get out of the car but didn't wander more than a few feet. I looked over at Esme, who had her gaze fixed out the window, away from me.

"Esme," I said softly, tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear. She turned her head, looking at me, but her eyes didn't meet mine, "I'll be right here with you," I assured her. Her eyes met mine and I could see the pain in them; the fear. But the longer I held her gaze the more I could tell she was just worried. About her baby; about this, and what would be happening to him.

"I can do this…" she said with a deep inhale to steady herself.

"I'm right here," I assured her again. There was a pause between us before we both cracked our doors at the same time. When I closed mine, I waited for Esme to round the vehicle. I felt her hand wrap around my upper arm, and I leaned over, kissing her temple softly, before leaning her forward, towards the waiting men by the gravestone. The kids followed behind.

"I know it's going to be hard, but you will have to speak once or twice, love," I whispered, low enough for only vampire ears. She nodded, biting her bottom lip.

As the family gathered around the grave, I noticed the groundskeeper had two shovels partially stabbed into the grass beside him.

"This is our groundskeeper, Henry," Mr. Henderson gestured to the man with his shovels, who waved. "Alright, today we are disinterring lot 256. Grave of Joseph Henry. Buried on June 12th, 1921," he read off the front of the envelope he had taken from the receptionist. I nodded, squeezing Esme's hand, encouraging her to answer as well.

"Um, yes," Esme said, trying to cover up the nerve in her voice.

"Alright then, we'll start digging," he said, looking at Henry, who moved into position and started cutting the grass around the edge of the grave with the shovel.

"This is really happening…" Esme breathed out, just low enough that the humans couldn't hear. I slipped my hand down to rest on the small of her back.

"You're doing great," I encouraged her, my eyes darting over to Jasper, who nodded to confirm he had no control over her emotions right now. It made me smile softly to myself as she clung to my arm.

We listened to the kids, standing around us making small talk, because Esme and I were abnormally quiet for something that shouldn't seem so personal in the eyes of these humans. I appreciated them trying to take the focus off us.

"The poor guy looks like he's having a hard time," Esme said quietly, a pang of guilt in her voice as we watched the elderly groundskeeper tearing the turf up. It was then that Edward stepped forward, clearly overhearing his mother.

"Can I offer you a hand sir?" he asked, "That's a whole lot of dirt for one man,"

The man looked up and smiled gratefully, nodding, and pulling the second shovel out of the spot where it was stabbed into the grass, and handed it to Edward, who started digging at the newly exposed dirt. My son stole a glance at us, and I saw Esme smile warmly at him, probably telling him in her thoughts that she appreciated it.

The spot they were digging wasn't very big. But a two by four-foot plot that was four feet deep was still an extensive amount of dirt for one older human to be digging. I knew after a while, Henry would become tired, and Jasper or Emmett would offer to step in and help, even in their nice clothes that they had worn. They would do it for their mother.

Edward made quick work of the first foot deep, pretended to act tired as he lifted each shovelful and added it to the growing pile beside him.

"You can trade off anytime there, son," the man told Edward as he himself was taking a break, leaning in his shovel.

"I think you need it sir. Why not pass the shovel off to one of my brothers?" Edward suggested and the Henry nodded, agreeing.

"I'll take it," Emmett offered, leaving Rosalie's side to take the shovel from the man, letting him rest.

Rose wandered over and stood by her mother's side, letting a hand rest on her shoulder.

Emmett and Edward powered through the rest of the dirt in record time. Edward set his shovel down, and Emmett gave his back to the groundkeeper, who climbed into the little hole that had been created. The more dirt Henry threw out of the hole, the more tense I could feel Esme becoming. We were standing at the foot of the hole and could see Henry using his hands to shuffle dirt aside, revealing the top of a rusted metal box. I had the wrap my arms around my wife's arms to keep her from jumping down into that hole herself.

"Here we are," he said as he wiggled the box free from the earth at the bottom of the grave with the shovel. The Environmental Officer, Robert, stepped forward with heavy gloves on, and passed a set to the old man, who put them on before lifting the box from the hole and handing it up to the officer. They had a tarp laid down in the grass a few feet away.

Esme pulled away from the grip of my hands and walked carefully around the hole, over to the men gathered around the tarp. I wandered closer as well, the children gathering near us.

"Can I have the box Mark?" Robert asked, and Mr. Henderson brought over a stainless-steel bin, removing the lid.

Esme crouched down examining the rust covered metal vault that had the unknown in it. I was standing right behind her, just in case.

"You're…opening it?" she asked softly, the nervousness in her voice as Robert flipped the two rusty latches. But when he tried to open the door along the entire length of the longer side, it wouldn't move.

"Trying to at least. A hundred years had rusted this thing shut," he said to her, "Can I have a screwdriver and a hammer?" he asked Henry, who had climbed out of the grave. He fetched both from his tool bag, handing them over to Robert, who used them to pry the door open. I reached for my wife's shoulder, touching it softly to reassure her.

Robert pulled the door open and revealed the contents. I could see the side of the small casket that was once a light oak. The bottom of the casket was a rusted color from the box rusting and the water bleeding into the wood. I could see the rubber gasket on the door was dried and cracked, which had allowed the water to leak in a bit.

"Ok, let's see if we can take this out," Robert said, turning the box so he could reach his hands into the vault box. I held my breath as he touched the old, partially rotten wood. My nerves were getting the best of me too now. The last thing we needed was for the bottom of the casket to give out and have remains all over the tarp. The black stained fabric from the body decaying in the box. Esme would be mentally scarred by it for eternity.

"Nice dad, that's not gross at all," I heard Edward's voice from beside me whisper in my ear low enough that his mother couldn't hear him. I let out a heavy exhale.

"_Sorry," _I apologized in my thoughts as I crouched down beside my wife, holding her hand.

When the little casket was pulled out of the metal vault, I was surprised to see that the lid was in a much better condition then I thought. On the top of the lid was tiny little cross. It was once a beautiful yet simple infant casket. It looked to be about 12 by 24 inches.

"Well, a hundred years has been merciful to you, little guy," the Robert said with a smile, touching the wood lightly. I saw a soft smile appear on Esme's lips at his statement, "This is probably the best kept casket I've seen that's over a hundred years with a water table as high as this one," he added.

He was right. The water table in Ashland was high and in the rainy season the ground became soaked extremely quick. It wasn't usually good news for caskets, especially the ones in concrete vaults.

"Ok, let's get this into the crate," Robert said, slowly and carefully sliding his gloved hand under the casket and moving it into the stainless-steel bin, and setting it down gently. That was the last look we had of the casket before the lid was put on the box, and it was tagged by Mark.

I pulled Esme to her feet, enveloping her in my arms softly.

"If you folks want to come back to the main office, we'll leave Mr. Cunnings and Henry here to fill the site back in," Mark said as he lifted the steel bin from the ground and walked back to his vehicle with it. Officer Staten followed him, and the kids as well.

I turned Esme away from the grave as the two men started filling it back in. I let her cling to my arm as we walked slowly along the row of headstones, back to the car.

"Are you ok?" I asked her gently. She snapped out of her daze again and looked at me.

"I…I don't know…"she said with a heavy exhale.

"You did good," I said, as we reached the vehicle. I pulled her back into a hug, resting my lips against her forehead, "Everything will be ok," I whispered.

**OoO**

When we got back home later that afternoon, the mood of the house was somber. Everyone went in their own direction. Esme hadn't said a word the entire ride home, and when we got in the door, she went immediately upstairs. I stood at the doorway, watching her disappear up the steps. I sighed to myself, following her up to our room, where she was kicking her shoes off. I closed the bedroom door behind me as she sat down on the edge of the bed, closing her eyes.

I approached her slowly and touched her cheek softly with the back of my fingers.

"Are you alright?" I asked her gently. She looked up, her eyes meeting mine and her face fell slightly.

"Why do you keep asking me that?" she asked me in reply, almost defensively. I paused, brushing her hair away from her face.

"I'm just worried about you," I said, sitting down beside her, and touching her back softly, "You haven't said much all day,"

Esme sighed, leaning into me and wrapping her arms around my sides. I wrapped my arms around her as well, stroking her hair softly. We sat in our embrace for a moment, inhaling each other's scents.

"I should go shower," she said, breaking the silence and sitting upright again, "Can you unzip me?" she asked, her voice quiet, shaking as she turned her back to me. I gently undid the tiny zipper and she sauntered off to the bathroom slowly, closing the door behind her. I let out a heavy sigh.

She was hurting and trying her hardest to contain it. All day I had been anticipating the moment she would crumble, letting her walls downs to let herself feel her pain. But she stood strong in front of everyone.

I could hear the shower turn on and the sound of her dress falling in a pile on the tile floor. I left her to her own accord as I heard the glass door on the shower close when she stepped in. Rising from the bed, I slid my dress shoes and socks off, and then wandered across the vastness of our bedroom to draw the sheer curtains closed. I was watching the sun through the trees and it was beginning its descent to setting. I knew the kids would be heading out to hunt as soon as the deer came out for the evening, leaving us alone in the house for a few hours.

I slowly pulled my dress shirt out of my slacks, unbuttoning it, and laying it across the chair we had in the corner. As I was pulling my belt from the loops of my pants, I heard a whimper from the direction of the bathroom. I paused, listening to the sound of the water hitting the shower floor. A loud sob, a cry fell from her lips.

I rushed over to the door and was about the open it forcefully, but collected myself and turned the knob slowly, slipping into the already steaming bathroom.

"Love?" I asked gently, closing the door behind me. Her figure was obscured by the water droplets running down glass. She choked back a sob when she heard my voice.

"I'm ok," she said, unconvincingly as she let another whimper escape her lips.

I pulled the shower door open, stepping in with her. Her dark eyes met mine, and then scanned my half-dressed form.

"Carlisle you're dress pa-"

I pulled her into my arms, her wet, bare body pressing to my dry chest. She stiffened, and then wrapped her arms around me, and pressed her face into the crook of my neck. Finally she let go, her body relaxing, and she began sobbing into my shoulder.

"Let it out, sweetheart," I cooed softly to her, turning my head and kissing her temple. She cried softly against my skin as I ran my fingers through her wet hair, "It's ok to cry,"

She cried for several minutes before I reached around her and turned the water off, and reached out of the shower for a towel. I wrapped the huge fluffy white towel around her and scooped her up in my arms, carrying her out of the shower and setting her down on the counter. I grabbed a second towel from the rack for her hair, that was dripping down her shoulders. I wrapped my arms around her again, pulling her into my still wet body. I felt her slip one hand up my chest, and then realized she had a fistful of the towel and was wiping water droplets off my chest. My soaked dress pants were heavy, dripping water on the fluffy bathmat under my feet.

I sighed, placing a kiss on Esme's forehead. She was still taking in short, unsteady breaths through her mouth. She would have been sniffling if she were human; trying to calm herself down from the crying she had done.

"Dry off love," I said as my lips grazed her skin, "I'll be back in moment,"

**Esme's POV**

Carlisle slipped out of the bathroom with a towel in hand, and I felt numb again. The same numbness had consumed me all day. I couldn't feel anything, until I was alone in the shower, with the water beating down on me, and I could feel the pain creeping up. When he stepped into the shower, still half dressed, and enveloped me in his arms, it was like being embraced by warmth; by emotion. From there I felt everything, and the crying consumed me. Everything I had held back during the day washed over me like an ocean and I felt like I was drowning in grief.

When Carlisle returned, he was dry, had discarded his wet dress pants, and was dawning only his grey lounge sweats. In his hands were a pair of underwear, fluffy pyjama bottoms, and a tank top for me.

"Here, my love," he said as he set them beside me, and then handed me the underwear. I sighed, sliding them on as he went about wiping the glass of the shower dry.

He waited until I was in the clothes he had brought before embracing me in his arms again. I inhaled his scent, letting a wave of calm wash over me. His bare skin was soothing. He didn't hesitate to scoop me up gently in his arms and carry me out of the bathroom, settling me down gingerly in my spot on our bed. The covers were turned down, allowing me to wriggle my feet under the sheets.

A quiet whimper fell from my lips at the loss of his touch, but he quickly rounded the bed and climbed into his spot. I smiled softly and nestled into his chest, his arms wrapping around me.

"Better?" he asked, pulling the covers over us, and I nodded into the crook of his neck.

"Always," I whispered. It was; everything was better with him. As we lay in silence, I noticed it… _the silence._ "It's quiet," I said, my voice was barely a whisper, but he heard me clear.

"Mm, the kids went hunting. We're alone for a few hours," he replied, his voice just as soft as mine.

"Perfect," I whispered, as he kissed the exposed skin of my shoulder. He wasn't trying to engage in anything; I could tell by the tenderness for his lips. He was offering added comfort to already being in his embrace.

"I know today was hard, sweetheart," he said in his soft tone gently near my ear. I let out a heavy sigh, nuzzling the underside of his jaw with my nose, "But he'll be with _us _now. With _you_. We don't have to go back there anymore if you don't want to,"

His sweet, breathless whispers in my ear calmed me. I let my eyes slip closed, enjoying his scent, his presence, as it surrounded me, keeping me safe. He continued to place soft kisses on my skin, letting his lips relax me into a state of blissful calm and serenity for the night.


	17. Fragile Contents

**June 15****th****, 2023**

**Esme's POV**

The late afternoon sun was beginning to creep over the roof of the house, allowing its rays to be cast upon the deck where I sat; as well as myself. The corners of my book pages fluttered lightly with the slight breeze that gusted through the forest every so often. I had started two days ago on this romance novel Alice had given me for Mother's Day. Scribbled in her dainty scrawl, on the third blank page of the book, opposite the table of contents was little note from her; "_A lovely romance story of two people pining over each another, afraid to admit how they feel. Reminded me of the stories Edward told me from your first years with Dad. Set in the 1920's, they're both in their twenties, he's a doctor, she's an artsy woman with a maternal feel to her. It's almost shocking how similar it is… just no vampires, I promise,"_

The book was several inches thick, and had two cover images, one on each side, and from what I could tell, the one side was the story from _her_ point of view, and the other side was the whole story again from _his_ point of view. When you got to the middle of the binding, you flipped the book over and restarted the story from the other side; it was a fascinating concept. I was half of the way through the story, and I was sucked into the plot. I had approached it differently than intended and was flipping back and forth between point of views. I would read one chapter from _her _view, and then flip and read the same events form _his _view.

It was so beautifully frustrated to watch these two characters falling in love and being afraid of their feeling for one another.

The crunching of gravel under tires pulled me from my tranced reading. I listened, as from the other side of the house, an engine was turned off, a car door opened and closed, and the sound of footsteps up the front step filled my ears.

The breeze blew gently in my direction, and the scent was wafted through the air.

He was home from work.

I smiled to myself, listening intently as his footsteps entered the house and were above me, somewhere upstairs. I could almost hear his thoughts, as he passed through the hallway and entered out room.

"Love?" he asked softly, though I could hear him clearly. I let a soft grin sweep over my lips.

"I'm on the deck, Carlisle," I replied, assuring him I was alright. In mere seconds he was opening the glass door to the deck and stepping out into the sun, his skin shimmering just as mine was. He had already removed the tie from around his neck, and the first three buttons of his shirt were undone.

"Reading that novel Alice gave you, I see," he said, leaning down and placed a lingering kiss on my lips. I smiled softly when he pulled away and sat gingerly on the arm of the chair.

"Started it two days ago; I'm almost done… It's neat because it has two sides that you read," I explained, showing him the other side of the book.

"Well judging by those covers, I'm guessing it's a romance?" he smiled cheekily at me. He new me too well. I nodded.

"It is… and interestingly enough, it's about a doctor and young woman falling in love in the 1920's," I told him with a giggle to my tone, as I tuned to the note Alice had left, letting him read it.

"Well now, I wonder how it ends?" he chuckled, playing along. I sighed dramatically, closing my book and clutching it in one hand.

"Well I'm hoping they admit their feelings to each other and end up happily married for a very long time," I said, making him laugh lightly and curl a lock of my hair around his finger.

"I'm sure they will," he smiled.

There was a comfortable silence between us for several long moments before he spoke again.

"I picked up the mail on my way home," he said simply, and I looked up at him, a looming feeling coming over me, "Come inside," he added in a very quiet voice as he slid one hand into mine. I stood from my chair, book in one hand, Carlisle's fingers twined in the other as he led me inside.

He led me up the stairs, down the hall, and into our room. The first thing my eyes fell upon was the small brown box resting on top of the pristine, creamy champagne duvet. I felt Carlisle's gaze on me as my eyes were transfixed on the item from the doorway.

"It's ok," I heard his familiar and soothing phrase fall softly from his lips, pulling my attention to meet his eyes, "I'm right here,"

I took in a deep, unnecessary breath, and slowly approached the bed, Carlisle's hand still holding mine. I set my book down gently on the beside table and stared down at the brown box, allowing my fingers to ghost over the tape that sealed it.

Printed boldly on the box, in red capital letters were the words _FRAGILE _and _CREAMATED REMAINS._

I felt his hands slip gently to my waist and rest comfortably in the curve above my hips. There was only silence between us as I used my fingernails to pick at the tape, unsealing the box. My hands were shaking as I folded back the flaps and removed the paper that was packed around an object. I could feel Carlisle's eyes burning into the box from where his head was rested on my shoulder.

I could see something blue as I reached in and slipped my fingers gingerly down the side of the box, letting them wrap securely around the bottom edges of the object. Carefully, I lifted the box-like object form its packaging and set it softly on the bed. My hands were gently holding a white wooden box that was meticulously wrapped in protection. The blue I had seen was something on top of the box, wrapped tightly in bubble wrap. When I slowly pulled it off, it revealed a blue ceramic set of angel wings cradling a sleeping baby. I felt my throat tighten, as well as my husbands embrace around me. Carefully I lifted the little box in my hands, holding it up as I Carlisle reached for opaque piece of protective plastic, covering the plaque on the front. I watched as he slowly peeled it off.

My breath caught in my throat when I read what was on it.

_Joseph Henry Platt Cullen_

_June 6__th__ – June 8__th__, 1921_

_Held for a moment; Loved for eternity._

I felt an overwhelming wave of emotion wash over me, and I could barely choke out the words

"Hi baby," I whispered, my voice cracking. At that moment I wished for nothing more than to cry tears, "Hi," I cooed again, holding the box close to my face. I let a heavy breath escape from my chest as Carlisle turned me in his arms and held me, looking down at the urn between us. His lips graced my forehead and rested there.

My thumbs were lightly stroking the white wood as the small box was cradled in my palms. It felt so heavy but also as light as air in my hands. Carlisle's lips left my forehead and his hands gently cradled mine around the box. I lifted my eyes from my hands for the first time since removing the urn from the parcel on the bed. My eyes met his and they were soft and comforting to gaze into.

"Are you alright?" his voice was soft and concerned. His eyes fell from mine and to our hands holding my baby.

_Our baby_

He was here with us, and my husband was every bit of the father that his biological one wouldn't have been. It brought me comfort and warmth.

"I'm perfect," I said quietly, nearly a whisper and then my eyes met his again. He gave me a gentle smile, lifting one hand to caress my cheek.

"I'm glad you're happy, love," he said sweetly. His hands returned to mine and the box, "Where would you like to set him?" he whispered with a kind smile. I beamed slightly, turning my head and looking around our bedroom.

My vanity was too cluttered, covered in makeup and hair products; it would accidentally get knocked off. The multi-level corner shelf in our room had our wedding album and candle sitting on the top shelf, and under it a photograph of the two of us on the island in '72 when Carlisle gifted it to me. Beside it sat a glass vase of sand from the islands' beach. Many other things sat on the shelf. But it was too dust gathering to set the urn on. It was more of a memento shelf.

the top of one of the dressers had our jewelry and accessory boxes on it; the urn would be out of l=place there…

My eyes fell to my nightstand. Atop it sat the identical lamp that mirrored the one on Carlisle's side of the bed, my book I had set down, and a photograph of the two of us from our 100th anniversary. Alice had thrown a family gathering, inviting many of our close friends, including the Denali's.

I smiled at the photograph taken in the woods, myself in a sweater dress and heels, wrapped in an oversized cardigan; my husband in his dress clothes, his arms wrapped around my waist in an embrace, and a nose nuzzled into my curls, both of us ignoring the camera.

That was the place, right beside that photo. The photo of the two people who loved him as much as they did each other.

"There," I told Carlisle, pulling out of his embrace with the box cradled in my hands. I knelt down in front of my nightstand, tossing the book onto the bed, wiping the almost invisible layer of dust specks from the wooden tabletop. Then gently shifted the lamp and photograph over to make a space, and carefully set the little urn box in the place spot I made. I felt a hand rest lightly on my back.

"It's…perfect," he smiled when I looked over my shoulder at him. I hesitated to smile back.

"What's wrong?" he asked, pulling me to my feet. I sat on the edge of the bed, as he held my hands softly, stroking his thumbs over my knuckles. My eyes glanced over to the little urn in its new spot on my nightstand.

"Nothing, it's… I just…" I took a deep breath and sighed to myself as Carlisle sat down beside me, slipping a hand up my back and rubbing soothing circles, "I just feel bad keeping him up here, hidden…" I admitted, almost shamefully. Carlisle pulled me close and I rested my cheek on his shoulder.

"I can't blame you for wanting to keep him up here. You know what inevitably happens to things downstairs," he said gently, playing with a lock of my hair. I cringed at the thought of my son's urn being knocked off the mantle and shattered to pieces, meeting the fate of many things the kids have knocked over. I felt better after his comment now, knowing the urn and its contents would be safe on my nightstand.

I wrapped both of my arms around my husband's sides and snuggled into his shirt.

"Speaking of the kids, where are they?" I asked, my eyes falling to the clock on the wall. It was after four and they should have been home from school.

"They're gone until Sunday. Field trip remember?" he asked, reminding me. I nodded, recalling the kids saying goodbye this morning.

"Sorry, it must have slipped my mind… I haven't really been all there since…" My voice faded away and I looked back over at the urn. I felt Carlisle's lips against my hair.

"It's ok, I know your mind has be elsewhere," he told me in a gentle voice as I looked back up at him, "But he's here now," he added. I smiled, hugging him tightly, burying my face back into his neck.

"Thank you," I said, my voice on the edge of breaking as I started getting emotional in his arms. I felt him cradle my head with a hand, "He wouldn't be here without your help," I added. I felt his lips curl into a soft smile.

"I'd do anything to make you happy my love, you know that," he mumbled into my locks.

"I love you," I said as I looked up and met his eyes, "So much," then pressed my lips to his. He smiled against my lips before melting into our kiss, which very quickly became a long and passionate one. I felt him slip his arms around my waist and pull me closer to him before falling back against our comforter, pulling me down with him as our lips broke apart.

He smiled with that lazily happy grin and I returned it, brushing his out of place blonde locks away from his forehead. He chuckled, copying me and tucking my splayed hair behind my ear. He ran the back of his index finger lightly over my cheek and down my neck, staring admiringly into my eyes as his fingers ghosted over the marks he had left there. The way the gold in his eyes was arranged had me entranced, the way it always did when we laid intimately like this.

There was a beautifully comfortable silence between us for a very long moment as his fingers brushed slowly down my body before pulling me closer at the hips. I moaned quietly as he hooked my leg over his hips.

"We're alone for three days," he smiled sweetly as he brushed our noses together. I frowned slightly, in confusion.

"You have to work tomorrow," I stated, knowing his work schedule well enough. He smiled again.

"I can always call in a sick day… If it means I get the time with you in exchange," he told me, a look of adoration in his eyes, "So how would you like to spend it?" he asked. I giggled, leaning closer, my lips mere inches from his.

"Just right here, with you," I said, brushing our noses like he had.

"Always," he whispered, connecting our lips in a passionate kiss.

**END**

**Thank you so much for reading. Hope you enjoyed this story. Don't forget to follow my Instagram page so you know when new stories are out. Love you all and happy holidays.**


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